Newsflash
by Sour Schuyler
Summary: Kaiba and Yami have been dating. Now, the whole world knows. Mokuba's homophobic and moody, Yugi's ignoring everything, and they're all staying at the Ishtar's! KaibaYami shounenai and het. Updated it's gonna be actionadventury soon.
1. Dramatic stuff

It had been five days since the media had found out about the special "relationship" between KaibaCorp's chief executive officer Seto Kaiba and World Champion Duelist Yugi Motou's "cousin", Yami Motou. Five days of begrudgingly working at home via laptop for Seto, five days of Yami being pestered by a betrayed-feeling Yugi. A _very _betrayed feeling Yugi, in fact, who was feeling _very _shocked and _very _angry, though he kept most of the last emotion to himself, preferring that Yami believe he was wallowing solely in disbelief and not distrust.

"Why didn't you tell me!" was all that Yugi could say. "I thought we were supposed to be best friends Yami!"

Yami would just snort derisively and try to ignore his partner. It was all over the news now, all Yugi had to do was flick on the TV and he would know all about it. The amount of information that had been outfitted to the newspapers had been parsimonious, however the journalists and reporters made due with what they had, repeating it over and over in a new fashion every time. Flaunting the old in a new way by rearranging sentences was apparently pure genius in the world of journalism. Not.

"Kaiba Seto and Motou Yami, two male duelists, have been dating in clandestine for over eight months…"

"Mutou Yami is the mysterious older cousin of Kaiba's chief dueling rival, the infamous Yugi Motou…"

"Kaiba Seto, of course, is the older Kaiba sibling. Adopted by Gozaburo, he..." And then they would go into a huge dealie about Seto Kaiba's private life.

Those bastards. But that was really all that they could say. Yugi Motou, however, was offended that they called him infamous.

"You think _you're _offended." Yami would then sigh and turn off the TV just as news special turned on.

In the dark study in Kaiba Manor, Kaiba would press a button and the TV would snap to life, images crackling across the screen. A muscle in his face would twitch, and he would turn to the small, solemn figure that would be standing in the corner, impervious to his anger.

"How could you…" The figure would shrug. "Mokuba, _answer me! _Why did you do this?" Then Kaiba would slam his fist on the desk and Mokuba wouldn't even blink. "Why did you tell them!"

"You had sex with a guy," was all that Mokuba managed to say. It was the younger Kaiba who had fled to the media, betraying Seto, his lifelong luminary, best friend and brother, just because of his dangerously chronic homophobia.

"So?"

"So, you're gay!"

"And you're point is?"

At this point Mokuba would shrink back into the wall, wishing that his brother was someone else. Kaiba would sigh. Ever since Mokuba had read an online conversation he'd had with Yami, discussing where they were going to meet the next day, he was a different person. He wouldn't get close to his big brother for anything.

"Mokuba…" Kaiba would get up and walks towards his little brother, frustrated. The homophobe -- one that had spent his whole life looking up to, respecting and trusting Seto Kaiba with all his heart -- would back away in time with Seto's steps, glaring fiercely at his luminary.

"Don't touch me."

"You sound like an obnoxious cheerleader being groped by a trucker in the Mideast USA," Seto would chuckle.

Mokuba snapped at him again. "Don't touch me."

"…! Mokuba, we can work this out..."

"I thought I told you to stay away from me, you gay freak!" Mokuba would back away.

"Mokuba, you're my little brother. I'm Seto Kaiba, not Michael Jackson," Seto would explain, ending his speech with a little sigh. For five days in a row, this had happened. For five days in a row, his heart had been squeezed, his buttons pushed, his guilt strings pulled and snapped and tied back together in big, fat knots. For five days his air had been the stale air of the secluded, inside office.

For five days, Seto Kaiba had missed Yami Motou more than he ever had in his entire life.

On the sixth day, Kaiba decided to do something about it.

_P.S. Leave reviews_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh. For that matter, I do not own a pair of white socks, and that makes me very, very, sad._

_Special thanks to MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE, a.k.a. "Super Kat-chan!" Woo! Thank you for beta-reading this chappie so that I could make the third draft, even though we were in the middle of working on 'Playing House' and I brought it up at random. (Just like _everything _else… Sigh, lol, yadda yadda.)_

A 5th draft by Sour Schuyler

Beta-read by MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE


	2. Introducing the sideplots

_Why didn't anyone _tell me _there was a typo in the first sentence of the story:P Eh, well. I couldn't figure out what to do next, so I decided that the second chapter was as good as any to introduce side plots. Thanks for all your reviews. Here, I shall rip up a Yugi plushie and gives its stuffing to the reviewers. Eh… he he he… Sorry about that. I _do _own a Yugi plushie, but Kat has it… in New Jersey. O.0 If you don't like what you're seeing in this chapter, this side pairing gets pretty screwy pretty quickly so just hang tight. :D Anyway, if you guys can, will you please go read and review my newest ficcie, "Mistrals and Siroccos"? It's a birthday giftfic for my friend, MAIDEN OF TIME AND SPACE. I think we'd both appreciate it!_

_Killian- Yeah, Mokie's a meanie and he's still going to be a butthead for a little bit. Maybe he'll lighten up, maybe he won't. Who's to spoil it for you? Also, if Seto Kaiba was Michael Jackson, rest assured I would not be writing a fic where he was Yami's beau. X.X_

_Living on Dreams- Ah, more Mokuba abuse. How much can the little guy take? (Mokuba: Save me!) Lots more, I am sure. How could I? Easily. I hope that this does actually turn out to be a good fic… Not really sure where I'm going with it yet._

_ttSerenity- Hey, you reviewed twice! Well, yeah, they are cousins, but technically they don't have any recollection of that. It's those Priest Set x Pharaoh Atem fics you gotta look out for. Incestuous! O! But in those days the Pharaoh might marry his sister for the sake of keeping the royal blood line pure, so I doubt that two gay guys would have cared. Though I doubt they were together anyway. -# Anyway! See! I did update for you! And this wasn't going to be a revenge story, but you've given me ideas. :)_

_Hakudoshi-chan- Thanks, I have. :)_

_Kat-chan - I hope you like your birthday ficcie! It's going to have lots of slapstick comedy and random, romantic moments:D And BAKURA'S GONNA GROW A TAIL! ….. . I must hush. I've said too much. _

The exodus of students was chaos. Students were running frantically, their tongues hanging out of their mouths and dragging across the floor as they panted. Then there were the people whose tongues were being stepped on. It was all pretty weird. Malik Ishtar was trying his best not to get caught up in anybody's saliva or anything like that. Of course, the only person whose saliva he would want to swap was frowning at him at that very moment. He had had morning detention, and he had tried to avoid telling her that. But she was, after all, a girl. They had "grapevines," or something of that sort.

As she started her cant, he sweat dropped. There had to be some way he could get out of this. I mean, Martha Stewart almost got out of jail! So there had to be someway that he could get out of her talks. But he was about as in control of his own destiny as the Pharaoh was of his.

_Which is why the media is screwing him over right now, _Malik thought with a smirk. Even though the Pharaoh and him were on a friendly basis now, a little _public, national _embarrassment never did any ruler any harm… _much. _Right? Besides, Yami was still kind of arrogant in a sense. As if it wasn't bad enough that he defeated all of his adversaries 90 percent of the time, he would then go on canting and pontificating on their immorality or how their judgment was wrong until they swore they were having a life-changing event just then and he would let them go. _That _was the worst part, by far.

"Téa," Malik said quietly, "could you just… shut up?"

"_What did you say to me?_" Téa vociferated. Her azure eyes were trained on him, almost on fire. Malik sighed.

"I guess not," he said. And then he mumbled, "Sorry for not telling you and all that shit." He didn't want her to jettison him, after all. Téa was pretty, but he didn't particularly love her all that more than a friend. He was just with her for the sake of being with her, and Téa had never seemed to mind much. Malik didn't think that Téa loved him, either. But still, whatever. They were teenagers. They had about seventy years to sort it all out.

Téa smiled at him. "I accept your apology," she said dignifiedly. "So, what do you want to do today?" Téa had pretty much been dumped by the rest of the group after Yami had publicly dumped and disgraced her. Apparently he said Téa had been cheating on him, or something, whatever. Malik didn't remember. Maybe Yugi found Téa's porn stash! Now _there _was an amusing thought…

"Earth to Malik? Come in, Malik?" He shook his head, and immediately her bright and shining face was shoved into it. "Where are we going today?" she demanded, poking his cheek with her nose. Malik pushed her away lightly.

"I have to take care of my nephew," he asseverated. Téa looked more hopeful than disappointed.

"Ooh, can I come and help?"

"No."

"Oh, puh-leeeeeeease…"

"Why you would want to be around Shadi and my sister all day is beyond me, Tay. But if you insist, Ishizu would probably enjoy your company anyway."

Téa cheered. Malik shook his head and sighed. It hadn't even been _six months _after his sister and Shadi had gotten married that the baby had been born. Despite Malik's bad guy theme, he actually had a huge soft spot for babies. Of course, after they could talk he'd complain about them until they were dead. Kateb couldn't talk yet, though, so he was pretty happy.

Of course, he still hated Shadi, though. Shadi was just a dickhead. He, like the Pharaoh, pontificated on every last detail of Malik's _quintessence. _It was pretty sad, really.

Other than that, Malik was a pretty happy teenager. He lived with Odion, Shadi, his sister and Kateb. He dated Téa. Kaiba was, as he had always joked, extremely gay, and the Pharaoh had been publicly humiliated. Life was _sweet._

Plus, there was the little factor of his other self. His other self was _gone. _Kaputs. He hadn't come back. Life was sweeter than sugar.

"Maybe we could go to Ryou's and ditch my sister altogether," Malik suggested without really thinking about it. Ryou passed by, smiling weakly.

"That sounds nice," he said. His gentle British accent was like music to Malik's ears. Malik found his rejoinder an equally as weak smile.

"So it's decided then!" Téa shouted a bit too loudly. People turned to stare at them. Malik cringed.

"Téa… Can you hush just a little bit?" His girlfriend placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. Malik glared right back. This was not one of their better days. He'd actually prefer that he spend a little time without her today, as she was still pretty upset with him for not being direct with her. She was trying to hide it, though, and that was one of Téa's specialties. "Actually, Ryou, I do have to take care of Kateb today. Um, I just remember Ishizu has the flu, so, she probably won't want to be seeing anyone. She'll just want rest."

"Oh… I'm sorry. Tell Ishizu to get well for me!" Téa gave him a sympathetic smile before finding one of her friends and running towards her. "Hey Miho!"

Ryou looked at Malik curiously. "Is your sister really sick?"

"Why?" Malik growled. "You have a crush on her or something?"

"Personally I wouldn't want to have a crush on anyone who had been 'inside' Shadi."

"Awwwwwwww man!" Malik clutched his head in despair. "Mental images!"

Ryou laughed. "Anyway, so is she sick? 'Cause if she isn't, then I do have that video game you wanted to borrow. It's kind of complicated, so I was thinking I could teach you to play it."

"Doesn't it come with an instruction manual?"

"Bakura burned it up." Ryou sweat dropped. Living with a former tomb robber was a fight for your life every single day, and that was no exaggeration. Sure, he was a lot better than before, but he still had fun conducting his little "experiments". Which frequented dead squirrels. And explosions. And the occasional imploding microwave. And ruined dinners, and ripped shirts, and broken printers, and bathrooms without fresh rolls of toilet paper just when you need them, and books with pages ripped out, and ruined video cassettes, and many, many other annoying things. Oh, and the occasional crazy "let's pretend it's Halloween today Ryou!" scheme. Those never worked. (Although Ryou would never admit it though, that didn't make them any less funny. God, it was _hilarious _to see Bakura dressed as a werewolf, hounding the annoying neighbors four houses down who owed six dogs that were always howling at night, screaming "Give me candy!")

Malik rolled his eyes. "Well, in that case, sure, come along! The more the merrier, right?"


	3. A little bit of foreshadow, in mah liife

_Gah! There were STILL spelling mistakes. I got four reviews, so I'll answer them here:_

_ttSerenity: Yes, as you can tell, I love bashing Shadi. Expect Shadi-bashing. Expect a LOT of Shadi-bashing. In fact, I actually just got my idea for this chapter. OH! And I wanted to especially thank you because you reviewed Chapter 1 twice. :) I was ecstatic. I'm waiting to see a humor fic from you! ;)_

_Alexa.G: Glad you think so! _

_Misura: Don't worry, Kaiba and Yami ARE the main couple, after all! There's going to be a kind of love quadrangle, though… That'll be fun. But still, Kaiba and Yami are first! _

_Hakudoshi-chan: I totally agree. (smiles wickedly) He he… More Tea-bashing ideas… Urge to write violence… rising… He he he._

After school, Mokuba was surprised when he walked into his brother's bedroom and saw the cheerless C.E.O. packing a suitcase. Two laptops, various shirts, slacks, and underwear were strewn all over the bed. Even Bobby, Seto's clandestine teddy bear, had been removed from his safe bivouac amongst the swirling dust and unused tissue boxes in the closet.

The bear leaned regally against a pillow, his red satin bow blooming from his chest and his eyes looking worried in a way that only a stuffed animal can. His onyx eyes were wistful, as if he knew something bad was going to happen and couldn't mollify it. (A/N: Mollify was my vocab word:dances a little bit:)

At first Mokuba thought he had done it. Letting out a horrified and dismayed cry, he tackled his brother from behind. "NII-SAMA! DON'T GO!"

"GACK!" Kaiba leaned backwards, waved his arms around in an ungainly dance, and then flopped forward like a fish, aiming for a smooth landing. Upon hitting the soft comforter, his face was planted in a pair of white boxers.

"O! Mkida!" Seto yelled, his voice muffled by the fabric.

Mokuba hugged his brother tightly, his eyes watery and huge. "I didn't mean it, nii-sama! I really didn't! I don't want you to leave! I—Oh my Lord, I touched a gay person!" Mokuba leapt off of Seto and ended up on the other side of the room. "I'm unclean! I need holy water!"

"There's some on the third shelf," Seto grumbled, pushing himself back up.

"You're a packrat, Seto," Mokuba said. With a pleasant smile he reached into his brother's closet and retrieved the bottle of holy water. Snicking off the cork, he poured a little of it all over his arms. "Why do you have this, anyway? To keep away the vampires?"

"Uh…" Seto scratched the back of his neck. "I don't believe in those anymore."

"Uh-huh… And what's this? 40 Ways to Kill A Vampire?"

"Oh, I wanted to take that one with me." Seto promptly reached over and snatched the book out of his little brother's. Tossing it carelessly into his suitcase, he sat down. His brother had tears in his eyes. Vampirophobia was hard to sympathize with, especially when the victim was your older brother, who was supposed to be _wiser _than you. Mokuba looked at him for a long, long time.

"Please don't leave, Seto," he said finally.

Seto looked at him stupidly. "Who said I was leaving? I was just going to tell you to pack. I'm letting Roland take over a little bit while we go on a little… 'vacation,' you could call it."

Mokuba blinked in surprise. "Vacation? Where to?"

"Well, Ishizu so generously offered to let us stay with her for awhile… And she's inviting some other guests, too."

This younger boy looked pissed at this excrescency. He would wager half his shares of KaibaCorp right now that Yami was one of them. Maybe even a fresh French pastry to go along with those shares. And boy, did Mokuba love his French pastries. _Mm. _

Mokuba narrowed his eyes. "Who?" he asked.

"You'll see," was all that Kaiba said.

Mokuba looked at his brother, looking disgusted and suspicious. "I bet I will," he contested hotly.


	4. Nothing is ever that easy

_Hakudoshi-chan: Oh... you know... where everybody else gets their holy water. Holy Waters 'R' Us._

_ttSerenity: Really? That one much have slipped my attention. I'll be reading and reviewing it soon. :)_

Mokuba was pretty TOed. He knew that Yami was coming. He just knew it. And if Yami was going, Yugi was sure to follow; Yugi had become more like Yami's shadow, stalking him wherever he went to make sure he knew what he was doing. In fact, Mokuba had overheard Yami complaining about how he couldn't shake Yugi off of him. This had brought a humorous picture into Mokuba's mind: Yami shaking liquified Yugi droplets (like water droplets, only with red, yellow, and black spiky hair) off of him like a dog. It had been funny then, but Mokuba didn't see anything funny about having Yami and Seto around each other in the same house.

In fact, Mokuba decided that this little "vacation," as Seto had likened to calling it, was going to blow. AND it was going to suck. Yes, it would do both. It would blow chunks and suck monkey. Yeeeeeeeees…

(A/N: I do not own the phrase "Suck Monkey". I borrowed it from Shrine Maiden Kitty. She's cooler than me.)

"Mokuba, come on!" Seto sighed frustratedly. "It's not going to be that bad."

"Yes it is. That crazy guy with the spiky hair will kill me."

Seto sweat dropped. "You mean Yami Marik… Yeah, he is crazy. He probably will, too. But that doesn't mean we can't have fun! Come on!"

"No way!"

Seto sighed. "They have a swimming pool," he offered. "And, Ishizu also has this huge, electric doggy collar that she can force Yami Marik to wear, if he tries to do anything evil to anybody. Plus, Yugi will be there! And you're friends, right? So you guys can hang out and have fun together, talking about how much you hate me and Yami!" Seto grinned and hoisted a duffel bag over his shoulder.

"So Yami _is _coming."

"I didn't say that! I said that Yugi was coming! Don't jump to conclusions, just hop in the car and let's go."

Mokuba grumbled and got into the car. _Somebody _had to chaperone those two.

* * *

"I don't wanna go." 

"Mokuba's going," Yami explained, "and he needs somebody to hang out with."

"Now you're just treating me like luggage." Yugi glared at his yami and his grandpa each in turn. His mother threw Yugi an odd look.

"Listen, Yugi, you might just want to go. They have a swimming pool. It will be fun!" His mother tried desperately to grab his arm and pull him along, really, she did, but he managed to dodge her. "YUGI GET IN THE CAR RIGHT NOW!" she screamed. "We ALL have to go, even if some of us are missing BUNKO parties because of it!" She started to sob. Yugi stood up and gave her a hug.

"There, there, mom. Bunko sucks, it's no big loss anyway."

"But I always win!"

Yugi pushed his mother away, looking at her as if she were crazy. "What are you talking about, onna? You ALWAYS lose!"

"Yugi don't speak to me that way! Now get in the car!"

Yugi sighed. "Yes, mom…"

Yugi just _knew _that Seto was going to be there. That was probably because Yami had told him so. But why was everybody else just going along with this, acting as if it was a good idea? It was a terrible idea. He was still angry at Yami. He wasn't homophobic, he just felt betrayed by Yami's lack of openness with him. THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PARTNERS, DAMN IT!

At least Yugi's grandpa and his mother were staying at Ishizu's place with him. They were basically on a "media avoidance" holiday. That suited Yugi just fine.

He still thought this was a terrible idea, though.


	5. The first steps are always faulty

_Misura- Thanks for telling me that you liked the plot of the chapter. :)_

_Hakudoshi-chan- Yeah, they'll be birds of a grumpy feather, those two. :)_

_ttSerenity- Yes! I updated! Woohoo! Can't wait to read your humor fic. :)_

_OH! And I fixed the mistakes in chapter 1. :) (I really like those smileys today, don't I?)_

Ishizu loved to cook. Whether it was for one house guest or for six, she'd get out all out her best plates and have fun cooking up a storm. She was doing so when Malik came home that evening, after hanging out in a skateboard park all afternoon.

"Hi Ishizu!" Malik pecked his big sister on the cheek and hugged her. "I haven't seen you in _years! Gasp! _–Hey, is that food for me?"

Ishizu waved him away. "Not now, brother! Set the table for the guests."

"How many do we have again?"

"Six."

Malik counted on his fingers. Six guests would make ten or eleven people, depending on whether he could suppress his yami or not. He was very easy to suppress now, and Malik preferred him to be locked up. Last time Yami Marik had gotten loose, somebody had knocked him on the head with a brick a couple of times, and now he had permanent brain damage that just made him all the creepier.

Somewhere in the house, _Sting _was playing softly. Malik smiled as he realized that Odion was home, after his trip to Egypt. He set the table sloppily and ran over towards Kateb's room.

Whenever it was Odion's job to look after the bald, whiny, and inarguably ugly baby, the broad-shoulder Egyptian would play older rock songs to lull the baby to sleep. So far, everything except for _Nine Inch Nails _worked.

"_Sweet desert rose, mm-hm, mm-hm," _Odion hummed, thumbing through a new video games magazine. Odion liked video games, Malik liked video games. Actually, Odion liked most everything Malik did, save for jellybeans. Odion inexplicably had something against them. Still, Malik now had come to appreciate Odion a lot more, and practically worshipped him as his older brother.

Malik ran over to Odion and gave him a hug. Malik was very big on hugs. "The Pharaoh's coming over," he whispered quietly.

Odion titled his head towards him, and cocked up one eyebrow. "And we should care… why?" he asked in a low grumble of a voice.

"It's just awkward, is all. I feel like we need to put up balloons." Odion chuckled.

"Oh, yes, I can see it now. 'Sorry I Tried To Kill You'. Do you know if they make those balloons year-around?"

"Maybe," Malik lied naively. "Um… I've got—"

"Homework to do. Miss Ishizu will kill you if you don't re-set the table, too. I could hear you clattering the forks together from here."

Malik turned bright red. "Sorry," he mumbled, and he tip-toed out of the room. He picked up a fork and held it in an upright position, and held up a spoon likewise.

"And what do you think, Mr. Fork?" he asked, bouncing one of the spoons up and down.

'Mr. Fork' bounced up and down via Malik.

"What does that mean, Mr. Fork?"

"Malik?" Malik dropped the utensils with a clatter and turned around sheepishly. "Hi Shadi," he said.

"…I sense a disturbance… in your brain…" he muttered. And then Shadi just floated past him, as nebulous as ever. Malik growled and put the fork and spoon back in their proper places before sulking back to the kitchen, and Ishizu.

"Why did you marry that jerk?" Malik mumbled. It wasn't as if they hadn't been over _this _argument a million times before. He already knew how it was going to go, too. Ishizu would turn to him, bright-eyed, with a large, sheepish-but-sincere smile on her face, and exclaim,

"He was the last jerk on the shelf! And he came with a free turban."

And then Malik would say, "Oh," in a very dumb manner, and Ishizu would smirk at him and go tell him to check on Kateb.

It always happened like that.

Then Malik would go to check on Kateb, only to see that he needed to be changed and everyone else had conveniently disappeared.

It always happened like that.

But today, it happened differently. Before Ishizu had a chance to make her turban joke, the doorbell rang. She wiped her hands on a dishcloth and asked politely, "Malik, could you get the door? I'm busy."

Malik nodded and headed over towards the front door, only to see that Shadi had gotten it first. Some lady with orangish hair was looking really freaked out. Yugi placed his hands on her back and pushed her irreverently inside. "This was your idea," he was reminding her. Malik smiled grimly. Oh, so they didn't _want _his sister's hospitality!

"INSOLENT CRETIN!" he found himself shouting. The Odion's hand clamped itself over his mouth. "Mmmpgh!"

" I think what Master Malik meant to say was, it's nice to see you all again." Odion grinned sheepishly. Yugi's mother was having a hard time dealing with him, too. To some "normal" people, the thought of a huge, hulking guy with a tattoo over half his face was quite scary. Malik would know. He used Odion as an intimidator when he was trying to take over the world. It was kind of like the, "Say hello to my little friend!" thing, except Odion was not by any standards little. ;;

Anyway, Yugi's mother seemed to calm herself a bit. Malik glared at Shadi. "Stop scaring away the guests! Don't you have any manners!" he shouted, except it sounded more like, "M mmp ppm mmpg mmpgh! Mmpg mpg gm gmmp gmmphg!"

Odion let go of his mouth, looking disgusted. "You spit on my hand," he lamented. Malik smiled sheepishly at him.

Ishizu entered then. Malik supposed that she was a savior in the eyes of Yugi's mother, seeing as the other people in the house were a teenage guy wearing a belly shirt, a guy with a tattoo, and a guy with a turban. Ishizu had blue eyes, black hair, and a sensible head.

"Welcome," was all she said. "Please come this way."

Yugi, Yami, Solomon, and Yugi's mother all followed Ishizu down the hallway. Malik turned and glared at Shadi.

"Was it so hard for you to do that?" he spat. Shadi shrugged at him and headed over towards Kateb's room. Malik growled.

"Let it go, Malik," Odion said. He sighed. Why couldn't his baby brother and his brother-in-law get along…?


	6. They're both being very tolerant

_Doot-dee-doo… People, people! PLEASE R+R Ma Proie! ;; Please?_

_ttSerenity- Hey! You threw stuff at me! ;-; Lol, just kidding._

_Hakudoshi-chan- Lol! Loved your review. - Was tempted to quote it. I'll probably go around all week saying things similar to it. ;; _

_Akio the Dragon Master- YOU REVIEW THIS! Woo! I have homework too, of course… Um, let's see… oh yeah! FRENCH! -;; It may already be late… eheheheh… I'm SO punctual! And, yes. 'Kura likes Halloween. We all knew._

_Misura- When the Ishtar family has "goodness", I'll eat my hat. …I guess it's time to buy another new hat, then. _

"Y'all gone learn Chinese…"

"Mokuba..."

"Y'all gone learn Chinese…"

"Mokuba…"

"Y'all gone learn Chinese/When the punks come out, y'all gone speak Chines---Hey!"

Seto sighed in relief after clicking off the radio. He still didn't understand how his brother knew all the words to that song. Mokuba wasn't the type of person to listen to the radio in his spare time. Actually, Mokuba would complain if anybody played the radio in his house, even if it was just playing quietly and he was on the other side of the house, which might as well of been a block away. (The maids hated him for this, but Mokuba just said "poo to them!") Perhaps, Seto surmised, he was just being more annoying as a way of revenge. "That song stinks worse than Joey Wheeler going three days without deodorant after gym class."

Mokuba wrinkled his nose. "Why do I get the feeling you're speaking from experience?"

"Just trust me. It's not cool." Mokuba watched in curious fascination as Seto actually shuddered. "In fact," Seto added, "let us never speak of it again. _Ever._"

"Alright then," Mokuba agreed, making a mental note to bring it up later when they were eating dinner. "Are we almost there?" Mokuba strained anxiously against his seatbelt. Seto sighed. His brother did _not _have a lot of patience. Mokuba was always after something, like building KaibaLand or winning Capsule Monster Chess tournaments or making new friends that _didn't _try to mooch off of him. In a way, Seto supposed, they were a lot alike. If they wanted something, they went and got it, sans the sitting and moping that a lot of incompetent people were imprecated with. Those people didn't get anywhere. Those people were nobodies. They, Seto and Mokuba Kaiba, they were _somebodies. _

The chief executive officer actually smiled at his younger brother—something that made Mokuba happy.

Mokuba was happy because his brother's eyes were shining, and he knew they were only shining for him. Or…. "Or Yami!" he whispered madly to himself. Darn Yami for ruining his trip and his happy thoughts and his relationship with his brother and his entire life. Why did that stinking Yugi-wannabe have to plant his smelly feet in Ishizu's house at the same time as them? …Well, that answer was obvious, but Mokuba was reluctant to admit that they're entire trip was for Kaiba and Yami's benefit.

"So are we there yet? You never answered me."

"It's only been two seconds, Mokuba, sheez. Give me some time to actually figure out where we are."

"But as Seto Kaiba, you should just _know! _You're amazing! Omniscient! And you have a cool coat!" Mokuba pointed to Seto's duelist kingdom garb, the blue trench coat.

Seto eyed it. "You like this one?" he asked quietly.

"Yup!" Mokuba grinned. "It actually looks _normal! _You could pass for a _human being!"_

Seto, instead of growling or yelling, actually let loose and laughed at this statement. "Thanks, Mokuba. I think. Oh, and… Yes, Mokuba. We're almost there. Don't wet yourself like Wheeler."

Mokuba rolled his eyes at the admonition. "Ha, ha, ha. The world-class comedian does it again."

"As a comedian, I hope I get paid well."

"That's so lame," Mokuba booed. "Comedy is all about HEART!"

"Yeah, heart, whatever." Mokuba turned the radio back on. Seto turned it back off and gave Mokuba a small, admonishing growl.

"Why do the Ishtars live this far out of town?" Mokuba asked, rummaging through the backpack that lay at his feet to look for his MP3 player with KaibaCorp custom hardware.

"Maybe for the same reason we used to. Put that back, you're not listening to it in the car."

Mokuba contemplated this. "…Because they hate other people?" he enquired. Seto face-faulted.

"No, I meant because they're rich, they can, and it's quieter."

"Oh." Mokuba flicked the radio back on. "I thought the reason we lived out of town before was because you hated other people. Isn't 'it's quieter' just another way of saying, 'I hate neighbors'?"

"If that was true, and I hated people, then why would we move back _in _to town? Hm?"

"Maybe you don't hate people as much anymore, big brother." Mokuba smiled slightly. "After all, you've got a few friends now, ones that you don't hate."

Seto flicked the radio back off. It gave him the Bird back.

"I do not 'hate' other people. They just annoy me, is all."

Mokuba turned the radio on again. A radio edit by _Eminem _was playing. "Sure," he teased. "You don't hate people. You just never act kindly towards _anybody. _I'm sure that one day, you'll find a group of friends that meet your requirements, huh? What, do you have application forms? Do I have to go to Yale to be your friend, or, as your little brother, do I automatically get to be your friend?"

"Yeah, you're insured," Seto mused. "We're here." He parallel-parked by the curb and then turned off the car, which mercifully ended the cavalcade of rap music. He got out of the car, stretching his legs. "And I'm going to flog you," he added, "because after all, that's what friends are for." Mokuba faked a few susurrous whimpers and peered out the window.

"Don't worry," Seto continued, "I'll be sure to give you plenty of Tea-patented stay-strong speeches to keep up your courage…" But young little Mokuba was already distrait.

"Whoa!" he shouted, slamming the door open and hitting Seto in the knee. The C.E.O. winced and fell over backwards, but his little brother didn't notice.

Mokuba took in the Ishtar Mansion in awe. The two- or three-story manse was not as awesome as the sprawling, agrestic backyard that seemed to spread all the way over to the horizon was. Mokuba's silver-gray eyes lit up; he couldn't _wait _to explore that backyard.

"It's so… _green…_" Mokuba had little hearts floating above his head. "I can't wait to explore!"

"It makes me think of Feudal Japan," Seto shared. "Like a fiefdom or something like that."

"A thiefdom?"

"A fiefdom, Mokuba. You know, where that one guy made all these people do stuff for him."

"You mean like our house?"

Seto held his palm up to his forehead. He moaned, "I'm not a walking dictionary… But you know what I mean when I say 'fiefdom,' right? I mean, you should've learned about that in school."

Mokuba nodded. "Yeah, I just thought you said something else." Grabbing his own two, small suitcases together in one hand, and his elder bro's gray briefcase in which he kept all of his important things (his deck, his laptop, more cards, any maybe a carrot stick or two along with a box of YooHoo), he took a single step—which seemed to be a cue for a tall, tanned man to come floating out of the house donning a turban.

"…Do I know you?" Seto growled, protectively stepping in front of Mokuba while Mokuba took a step back from this weird-looking guy.

The bronzed character shook his head almost in apology. "My name is—"

"The turban man SPEAKS!" Mokuba screamed irreverently. Seto blinked.

"Really, Mokuba, _shut the heck up! _--Sorry about that." Seto smiled grimly at the man in the turban. "He hasn't had his morphine in 48 hours. You know how it is when they're addicted." ("HEY! LIAR!") "What did you say your name was?"

"My name is Shadi. Follow me." He turned around, grabbed one of Seto's suitcases, and began to ascend the steps leading up to the ever-impressive manse.

Mokuba poked his head around Seto's side. "Seto, that man's wearing a dress," he whispered shakily.

"It's okay, Mokuba, don't be scared. It could be worse. He could be a vampire nun." Seto said this all as calmly as if he was saying, 'Well, it's a little cloudy, but don't worry, it could be worse. It might be raining.' He reached down, picked up one of Mokuba's suitcases and his own, and headed up the steps behind the turban dude.

"HE'S WEARING A DRESS!" Mokuba screamed. Among other things, Mokuba hated cross-dressers, along with homos, transvestites, WNBA players, and anybody who had seen Star Trek more than four times.

Why was he wearing a turban! WHY? Mokuba dragged his suitcase up the steps, mulling over this fact.

_I don't claim to own the song "Y'all Gone Learn Chinese" by Jin. I just thought it would be SO funny for Mokuba to be singing along with it. He he he…_

_I was going to put this up yester-afternoon, but I got carried away reading Ranma fics! - WOO! Those are fun! _

_Thanks to the frequent reviewers! If people are reading this and NOT reviewing this-----------_

_REVIEW IT DANG NABBIT! Or I'll sic' my ninja-wielding carrots and my carrot-wielding ninjas on you!_

_(insert cool image of my ninjas and carrots. :P You WISH you had an army like mine…)_


	7. Proving that no one knows everything

_Hakudoshi-chan- AAAAAH! You STARTLED me with how fast you reviewed! It was GREAT! Well, technically, it was a few hours, but whatever! Somebody reviewed one of my new chapters in Mistaeks just a few minutes after I posted it up... I was so elated. (old vocab word usage! HUA!)_

_Akio the Dragon Master- Ha ha, don't you just love it when mothers are delusional? - And of course ODION'S intimidating! Anybody who has the grit to TATTOO HALF OF THEIR OWN FACE is freakin' sweet! (Notice that I'm becoming obsessed with that term? Hmm… Strange…) I think I got the idea of Kaiba being vampirophobic from the book I'm reading, Dark Corner. And the nun things… Well, I knew a guy once who said that nuns gave him "bad vibes". _

_OK, people, be happy! This was going to be 2 chapters but I combined them into one. So CHEER, folks! YAAAAY! (throws pom-poms into the crowd and manages to knock a leprechaun upside the head with one) Anyway… Puh-leeeeeeeease review! ;;_

"…_Yami._" Mokuba said it with the most acrid voice he could muster. Yami nodded towards the cold boy and smiled brightly.

"Hello, Mokuba!" Yami exclaimed cheerfully. There wasn't even a hint of a trace of a scintilla of insincerity in his voice. "Yugi's in the living room, if you want to say hi to him also. Ishizu should be coming to greet you guys right about… now."

With that cue, Ishizu sashayed into the foyer (it rhymes! It really does rhyme!). She smiled gently at them all. Ishizu had, on Mokuba's list, one of the top five prettiest smiles in the whole world. The first was his mother's.

"Hi Ishizu," he said sweetly.

"Welcome," she started off. "I—"

"YOU MARRIED A GUY IN A DRESS!" Mokuba shrieked. He stabbed the air near Ishizu with a wavering finger.

As soon as Kaiba came in, though, Mokuba scuttled into the next room before his elder brother could witness the event. He stood in a spot where he could stand, look awkward and confused (as was customary for arriving tenants), and, more importantly, he stood where he could see the foyer. He stood where he could see Seto and Yami.

"Hi Ishizu," Seto grunted more gruffly than a Billy Goat named Cheese. His bad-boy image, though, was somewhat ruined by the fact that Yami was trying to hold his hand in an attempt to embarrass him. Mokuba felt the need to step in and chaperone the two lovebirds, but as much as he was angered by them, he was also afraid of them.

"Hi," said a low voice behind him. Mokuba jumped. "It's just me," said the voice again. "You ought to remember me, Mokuba. I'm…"

_Do I dare leave it at that?_

_Do I?_

_Do I? _

_Well?_

…_Nah, I'm not so evil. (Most of the time—I think—maybe.) _

"—I know who you are, Yugi," Mokuba interjected irately. "I'd be retarded if I didn't."

Yugi chortled at this remark. "Eheh… Well, with all due respect…"

Mokuba cut him off irritably. "I thought you were in the living room."

"Well the leprechauns were bullying me, you see, and—Actually, the dining room and living room don't really have a wall separating them… as you can now see." Yugi motioned with a grand sweep of his arm towards the two steps that lead "down" to the living room in a split-level fashion. Just as Yugi said, there was no wall. "So… you're standing here spying on my darker half already? Good idea, huh? Glad I hadn't thought of it, Yami would've read my mind and would be really laying into me. He breathes fire down my neck whenever I get on that subject."

"You're awfully calm," Mokuba hissed, the hair on the nape of his neck rising up, "for somebody who just found out their _'other self' _is gay."

"You're awfully _un_-calm for somebody who claims to always support his brother, no matter what," Yugi shot back. "And it's not the gay part that bothers me. It's the lying and the secrecy that irks me." And with that, Yugi turned away and walked off, tossing a merry "Hi Kaiba!" over his shoulder that earned himself a growl from the world-famous grouch. "Don't act any cheerier, man, you'll give us all diabetes!"

"Bite me!" Seto yelled.

"That's the spirit!"

Yami slapped the C.E.O. across the face for being rude to his cuter half. (In my opinion…)

Mokuba looked from Ishizu, to Yugi, to Seto, confused. He'd already gotten three people in the house TOed, and he'd been there for less than five minutes. He was royally screwed unless he played a sycophant now…

But what did Yugi mean by lying and secrecy? Mokie wanted to find out.


	8. Food food food we all love you

_Hakudoshi-chan: He he he. Well, put yourself in Mokuba's shoes for a bit, I guess. I would be, like, "o.o;; Ohmygod... Everyone around me must be GAY or something... They're okay with this... OMG A GUY IN A DRESS!" Lol. I thought that Yugi was a bit mean in the last chapter, too, but maybe I didn't get it across._

_ttSerenity: Of course, the leprechauns are the only ones short enough to actually look Yugi in the face while they're talking to him:D Ok, so, maybe I'm lying. But hey! Who are you gonna believe? Me, or some guy who doesn't bathe who claims that he's got a pot of gold waiting for you at the end of a rainbow? (Sounds like a rapist to me. o.o;; LEPRECHAUN RAPE!)_

_Akio the Dragon Master: Kay:D_

_Misura: What IS it with you Shadi fans? Gah... He's BALD, man! You know it's true! (What sort of self-respecting man goes around with a feather in his cap BESIDES Yankee Doodle? (And we ALL know that Yankee was just a LITTLE bit tipsy... he he.) Nah, just kidding. I'm trying to lay off the Shadi-bashing with this chapter. Hm... Yami and Seto saw each other in the last chapter, though I didn't really go into detail on it, instead focusing on Mokuba. :D Thank you for saying that anything I write is drenched in funniness! And thank you so much for taking the time out to review this story:)_

**Ok, um... I believe that Akio the Dragon Master gave me the idea for "the last dinner roll" this morning ('tis April 22, for anyone's reference). So, KUDOS AND CREDIT TO HER!**

It was dinner time. The rich smell of beef broth permeated the air and flowed silently all around the house, alluring those whose sought food. Even if one claimed that they were nots hungry, the smell would make their stomach grumble so loud it would drive them crazy, until they stood up and made a mad dash for the dining room table. Such was the spell that Ishizu had cast over the household.

"FOOOOD!" Malik ran in, chibified with huge watery eyes. He clasped his hands together. "Thank you, Ra!" he sobbed, sinking into his seat. Ishizu raised up a slender eyebrow, noticing that Shadi was already in his seat, hands placed calmly in his lap... Hadn't he been sitting there ten minutes before, too? Uh-huh. Ishizu smiled graciously at him before setting down his broth first. Malik glared vehemently at his brother-in-law.

"I hate you," he said.

"Well," Ishizu commented, "that was blunt."

Odion came into the dining room next, while Yugi and Mokuba peered at the food over the back of the couch, their eyes wide and huge. Ishizu went and fetched Yugi's family and Seto, and got Kateb. Bringing the cute wil' baby back into the dining room, she saw Yugi and Mokuba standing cautiously near the chairs of the table. She smiled.

"Please be seated," she said.

They did. Gladly.

Everybody sat down, Ishizu gave out the soup, but nobody was eating. They all politely waited for Ishizu to take her seat, with Kateb in a high chair next to her. The high chair's legs were black wicker, with the pattern of a snake painted on them. Yugi couldn't help thinking this was extremely creepy. The rest of the high chair was plastic, though, although it looked quite slippery. Again, this disturbed Yugi.

Mrs. Motou sat near Ishizu, and they talked about... well, stuff that people who have been married and have had kids do. Yami and Kaiba were sitting at the other end, and Yugi wished that _everyone _could be sitting with them as his mother started to tell Ishizu how he'd been potty trained. Oh, and didn't Shadi just _beam _when he overheard it...

Oh, God. This was going to be hell.

The broth was... so... good... Yugi thought he was going to die from happiness. His mom's cooking was okay, and his cooking--well, Yugi didn't cook. And honestly, nobody wanted him to. Oh, and Grandpa was just as bad. Nothing the two of them could conjure up in the kitchen would ever be edible, least of all palatable. Not like this toothsome brew.

No WONDER Malik and Odion put up with living with a creepy turban-man for this. Not that Yugi was ungrateful towards Shadi--after all, he had helped him many--well--he had warned him about stuff at Battle City by rambling about Pegasus, but other than that he'd really never done anything worth Yugi's while... Eh. But whatever. Yugi was against small meanness.

Down at the other end of the table, Yami and Kaiba were eating in an utter silence that was not typically ascribed to couples... Grandpa was sitting near them, but Yugi didn't think that's why they were quiet. The only thing that adulterated the quiet was the clink of salt and pepper shakers when Yami went to pour salt on his roll--yes, Yugi always thought that his other half's tastes were quite weird, too--and the top fell off, crashing onto the plate. Everyone noticed, nobody cared, Yami turned red, and Seto smiled.

It was a bit later when it happened.

"Hey, kid, that's my dinner roll." Malik glared angrily at Mokuba, who's hand was underneath his, on top of the wanted roll.

"But it's the last one."

"I know. And it's mine." Malik's lavender eyes flashed with warning, but Mokuba payed them no heed. Living with Seto made him immune to nearly all types of glares.

"But I'm the guest."

"But I _live _here!"

"But I'm the guest."

"I heard you the first time!"

"But I'm the--"

"And I can kick you out if I want 'cus I can!" Malik snorted.

"No you can't," Ishizu interjected. Malik flashed his eyes at her, too.

"Butt out Ishizu!"

"Malik!" Ishizu flat-out glared at him now. "Malik, give Mokuba the dinner roll."

"But it's miiiiiiiiiiiiiine!" Malik whined in that whiny, whiny voice of his. Ishizu rolled her eyes.

"Malik you do know that there's a few more of those in the kitchen, right?" All Ishizu heard was the scraping of wood against wood before she realized that Malik had run into the kitchen. "Well, then. Enjoy your dinner roll, Mokuba."

Mokuba bit into it. "...It's stale," he whispered. Seto laughed.


	9. The introduction of the revelation

_Akio the Dragon Master- Oh, but whoever said she does?_

_Hakudoshi-chan- Well… maybe Mokuba did that. I don't know._

_ttSerenity- Well, technically, he is ALWAYS stalked by three children. They're ALWAYS after 'is Lucky Charms!_

_I still wish more people would read my stories… I'm thankful to have lots of frequents, though! Thank y'all so much! Tell your friends about my stories, okay? (sweat drops) Yes, I'm a pathetic begger, but I don't care! WAH!_

Mokuba was skulking around. Yugi was watching HBO, trying to drown out Yami's presence with George Carlin. Seto was helping Yami unpack. Mokuba thought that he ought to go spy on them, but Yugi's mom was there, and he was still embarrassed about fighting over a stale dinner role.

Shadi glided past, stopped, and backpedaled toward him, all while seeming to only brush against the floor. "You are deterred, Mokuba Kaiba, are you not?" he asked. Mokuba sneered at him. Shadi merely rolled his shoulders in a fluid shrug. "Not every morsel of ambrosia suits every God's tastes." And he floated away.

Mokuba snorted. "What does _that _mean?" he wondered. Malik poked his head into the room, chewing on a dinner roll.

"He means that—"

"Don't tell him," Yugi murmured. "Let him figure it out on his own. It's something that you have to figure out on yourself."

"Okay, okay. Hey, Yugi, is this George Carlin sequence almost over, 'cause I wanted to play Resident Evil 4."

"Yeah, it's almost over."

"'Kay."

Mokuba rolled his eyes and made to leave the room. Now it was stuck in his head. What did it mean?


	10. More of that metaphor stuff

Hakudoshi-chan: Who knows? O.o; Not even me! All I know is the general plot, and some subplots. Heh.

ttSerenity: Oh, GOD! The TRIX kids! Don't even get me started! Patent animal cruelty!

Misura: Yes, you Shadi fans. I found that out when I wrote _Stupid in Love. _You're not alone. Others exist, somewhere! O.O Um, yes. I am making Mokuba a brat. Yugi's kind of being rude too, though, don't you think? He really isn't try to do anything that might help assuage Mokuba's issues. But, then again, when you're famous, and your hair looks like _that, _why do anything:D Yeah, Mokuba and Malik definitely do have a lot in common.

Later that night, the entire group played monopoly like friends. Well… as close to friends as they could get; Yugi and Yami had a nasty habit of acting together to bring others to their knees, bankrupt, and more than once Mokuba spotted Malik stealing money from the bank. Malik, in Mokuba's utmost opinion, was even more of a spoiled brat than he was.

The game ended when Kateb started crying like a ravenous wolf cub. It was really odd to see Ishizu acting as a mother, calming her fussy baby, after her harsh and dramatic behavior on Battle Ship. It was interesting, thought Mokuba, how many different faces a single person could wear.

That night Mokuba lay awake on a preposterously lumpy futon, staring at the ceiling, wondering how many faces his big brother was wearing.

Seto's snoring could be heard, since Mokuba was lying right next to him, and it made Mokuba have to stifle a few giggles.

Why did Seto have to be like _that?_

Why couldn't he have normal faces?

Why did a woodchuck chuck wood? Why couldn't there be such thing as a watersuck bird?

That night Mokuba lay awake on a futon, staring at the ceiling, wondering how many faces his big brother was wearing, wondering why he only showed one.


	11. The plot thickens! the beginning of an a...

WOOHOO! 40 reviews! Thanks so much, guys!

Akio the Dragon Master: ...Yeah, now that you mention it... That would explain a heckuva lot! Thanks for saying you liked my metaphor! He he, thought about our conversation on the bus and today and almost decided not to update this today as a joke. :)

Hakudoshi-chan: . So does real money... do you steal that, too?

As a surprise for Misura-san, I decided to have this chapter be all Shadi! Yakatta, Misura! It's not as well-written as I had hoped it would be, but if I come back and edit this somewhere along the line, I can strengthen it a bit later...

The baby was crying again. If he had only known how_ much_ babies cried! --But how could he remember? He was a baby, like, forever ago. A tiny, weak, hairless creature with mushy neck muscles. Now, he was a tall, magical, hairless creature with a feather in his turban, and the tiny, weak, hairless, etc., that was Kateb.

Shadi floated into the room, earning a roll of the eyes from Ishizu. "What?" he asked, smiling grimly. Ishizu clucked at him. "All right, all right. If that's what you want." Shadi's feet touched the ground. He grumbled. "Floating's _fun, _though, Ishizu!" His argument was bitter and pointless. This was why he liked floating, as well as walking through walls and having never-ending abysses for eyes. "It freaks people out—"

"I heard how badly you frightened Yugi Motou's mother this afternoon," Ishizu said, rolling her eyes again and flicking back a lock of ebony hair that was getting in her way. Kateb was soporific now; Shadi marveled at his son's ability to not throw up after being rocked. Man, if it was him… but then again, he had no stomach for any type of air motion that didn't involve some kind of magic to support him. He fingered the Millennium Key underneath his pajamas.

…Why was it so hard to believe Shadi wore pajamas? They looked a lot like his regular clothes, just more satiny inside. He always slept with his Millennium Key besides him, just in case of the tomb robber…

Kateb decided that now was as good a time as ever to throw up on Mom. Shadi saw her mouth some Arabic obloquy as she handed him Kateb and stormed to the bathroom.

Children were so weird. Babies especially. They were bald, whiny, had mushy muscles, and everybody loved them. Now, if only people loved Malik and Odion that much! He he. Bald Odion, whiny Malik… it all evened out. They weren't that bad, Shadi reasoned, but they certainly weren't lovable, unless you were a verbal masochist of some sort.

Kateb was still crying. Kateb was still hungry. Kateb was still bald, except for a tiny swirl of what looked like blondish hair on the top of his head. Kateb was still brightly brown-eyed. And Kateb still _really _wanted to breast feed. Sweat dropping. Shadi held Kateb away from his chest area. "I am not a woman," he hissed. This caused Kateb to cry again. Shadi's deep, blue eyes wavered with concern. "I'm sorry, son!" He hugged Kateb. "Now shush… Okay? If you shush, I'll let you play with the Millennium Scales."

It probably wasn't a good idea to let Kateb play with a dangerous relic as if it was a Tonka Truck, but Kateb _really _liked watching Shadi place items in the scales, as if they were regular food scales, and watching them go up and down. So, in essence, Kateb wasn't really playing with them, Shadi was. And that made Shadi feel foolish.

He heard Ishizu come back. Cuddling Kateb close to his torso (but _above _that area so that Kateb wouldn't try to… um…), Shadi smiled at him. Ishizu sashayed in, looking as if she had fallen and tripped on her head, by the size of the anime-bump on her head. Whenever Ishizu fell or did something to injury herself, it reminded Shadi of Malik, in a way that he never fully understood; perhaps it was something subconscious, that reminded him that Malik's "being difficult" really only hindered Malik himself… (Shadi certainly didn't care if they got along. If they did, great; if they didn't, that was fine too; Shadi could just go in and change Malik's personality with the Millennium Key. Not that he would, without Ishizu's permission, but one of these days Ishizu would become curious as to what Malik could be like…)

Malik was a good kid, though. His heart was… ultimately… in the right place, most of the time, every other Tuesday.

Shadi handed Kateb to an exhausted Ishizu, suddenly realizing that he had an errand to run with the Scales. Well, not so much as remembering as sensing.

He sensed, cliché as it sounded, a disturbance within the force of the Millennium Items.

And it was being caused by the tomb robber, Bakura.

Shadi looked out at the long yard that they had; pansied fields and kudzu-covered trees. The wind blew all of those, pansies and trees, in a soft unison, whistling as it worked. With another of the wind's whistles, his raiment fluttered, and he was gone.


	12. Character development goes down the tube...

_Yadonushi-sama is in his room._

_Yadonushi-sama is doing his homework._

_Yadonushi-sama has been _

"Bakura!"

Bakura looked up innocently from the journal he was writing in. "Yes?" he asked innocently. One could almost envision the flaxen halo hovering above his white, spiky bangs that looked like bat wings.

Ryou bigsweated. Bakura noted that his lighter half was wearing khakis and a comfortable merino sweater. "Going somewhere?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Ryou nodded quietly, searching for his water bottle. Bakura clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"Fine. Be back by eight. And no bringing back _giiiiiiiiiirls._"

"I don't need your permission to leave my own apartment," Ryou stated tartly, as he exited his apartment. Bakura raised his eyebrows until they nearly disappeared underneath his bangs.

Ryou strode briskly through the crisp air, happy to be romping around alfresco. He had promised to help Ishizu with the cooking today, and so had agreed to meet Malik over near the local strip mall so that they could hang out for a bit before heading back to the Ishtar's home.

The Brit eagerly breathed the crisp air into his lungs, happy to be out of his dingy apartment where he spent most of his time. He needed more friends—okay, so he had plenty of those, but he just needed to be more social. Maybe he should take Miho up on her date offer…

Ryou sighed as he passed by the lilac bushes near the pebbled pathway towards the back gate of his apartment complex. There was a pretty garden next to the complex, with jasmine and lilies and lilacs and snapdragons and all kinds of things, including the kudzu that climbed up the walls, the longest tendril winding out just to the eleventh-story windows.

It wouldn't mean anything to go on a date with Miho, knowing that she wanted him to be her boyfriend, and knowing that he didn't want to, Ryou reasoned. He didn't like to lead people on, or put on airs, and he despised going out with fan girls that thought that one date meant that they were his world. His world didn't work that way, and if it was supposed to, it had been on the bum for quite some time.

Suddenly he felt a light blow to the head, and knew that Bakura was probing into his mind again. It felt like somebody was physically prodding the back of his head with a very thick stick. When Ryou had described the sensation to Malik, the Egyptian boy had laughed, saying that it sounded like Ryou was getting head-molested by a hobo. How a naïve teen like Malik even knew what the word molested meant, Ryou really wasn't quite sure. However, Ryou knew that if Malik still had his other half around, he wouldn't make jokes about having one's mind read, ever.

Ryou froze, forcing himself to think about how nice the jasmine smelled this time of the season, until the pain faded and Bakura was no longer lurking around in his mind.

Ryou sighed. Why did things have to be like this? He felt stalked, everywhere he went… Lonely, but never alone. But maybe things were better that way? Or perhaps that was just how things were supposed to be.

Ryou tried to smile bravely. "And that's why I'm going to see Malik!" he declared to the lilies. The lilies swayed in a celebratory movement, cheering him on as they were fueled by a hopeful wind. The white-haired boy scrambled over the apartment gate and sprinted down the road.


	13. I WILL make foreshadowing more obvious a...

Malik woke up earlier and brushed his teeth. Malik was very assiduous about brushing his teeth; in fact, he brushed after every meal, and if he missed a brushing, he became very, very cranky. Why, yes; that _does _sound like a baby on crack, now doesn't it? Heh heh heh.

The first thing he did every morning, _besides _brushing like a maniac, was get dressed; he did so.

The second thing was, he would brush his hair, just enough so that it was _not too messy; _how recalcitrant could he be if his hair was combed to perfection? Punks weren't obsessively neat, unless they were Seto Kaiba, and in his defense the elder Kaiba wasn't really so much of a punk as he was an aggro businessman with a bad case of PMS. So, Malik took extra care to make his hair look slightly messy. Weird? Maybe. But that's our lil' Malik.

The third thing he would do was go and search the pantry for scrumptious blueberry Pop-tarts.

The fourth thing, you may have guessed by now, is this: he would _eat _the Pop-tarts.

All in all, Malik had a pretty regular teenage morning, as far as most regular teenagers go. But Malik wasn't a regular teenager, and this wasn't a regular morning, Malik mused as he poured himself a glass of orange juice. He was far from ordinary, and today he was going to cause some sort of mischief in the mall. He wasn't sure what kind, yet, but Ryou had suggested that they just think things up along the way.

Malik smiled. Ryou was a good friend to have. He was dependable and funny, with a spankin' cool accent. He was quiet enough that he wouldn't object to your deepest beliefs, and he was loud enough to be heard above the roar of whatever other rubbish you were thinking about. Plus, Ryou had white hair, and therefore he could look like a punkish lackey! (Even though Ryou was really a very incredibly sweet guy, as anybody who was ever introduced to him knew. But those old hags at the 7-11 didn't need to know that. They did think, and would forever continue to think, that Ryou came into that store solely to steal their cartons of fruit juice. If that was the case, why didn't they just store all of the juice in those disgusting warts they had on their noses and knuckles?)

Malik was downing his second glass of orange juice when Shadi came into the kitchen. Malik's eyeballs nearly popped clear out of his head.

"What in the seven Hells—"

Shadi raised his hand to silence him. His face was haggard, and parts of his clothing were ripped. Also, Shadi's clothing seemed… looser, somewhat, especially around the torso region. Malik couldn't put his finger on it, but it was like seeing a girl without her make-up on, or something. Shadi was lacking something. What was it?

Nevertheless.

"Geez, Shadi, did Ishizu _whip _you last night or something?" Yugi said as he strolled into the kitchen, looking disgustingly cheery.

There was a long, awkward pause, in which the blood vessels nestled under the dark, shadowy bags under Shadi's eyes seemed to spasm.

"…Yugi?" said Malik.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to kill you," said Malik and Shadi at the same time. They shared a glance, which quickly became two glares, and then Malik turned around in a huff and left the house.

As soon as Malik exited the door, however, he got that horrible feeling again, that feeling that something was preposterously wrong, like something precious to him had been disfigured. Shrugging it off, he headed towards the mall.

The precious morning sun was just peeking timidly over the horizon, emitting a moody orange glow over everything. Malik started to jog, thinking about Tea. He was thinking of breaking up with her. It wasn't as if they actually had any mutual feelings towards each other, besides needing _somebody, _and she was starting to question his familial values and all that. He couldn't handle somebody telling him that the way he treated his family, especially Odion, was wrong. Tea had been really put off by the way Malik still treated Odion as a type of manservant, even though he looked up to him with all his hear—

"OOF!" Malik slammed into what he thought at first was a fire hydrant. It turned out that he had knocked a smaller kid to the ground. He raised an eyebrow. That kid must have been wearing his bullet train-proof vest underneath his kiddish sky blue rain jacket.

"Sorry, kid," he apologized, extending a hand towards the mousy-looking child. The child slapped it away.

"Get away from me! I don't need your help!" the child screamed, running over towards the… gēsen. Malik ground his teeth, frustrated with his own ability to identify the shop. He needed to start studying his languages harder, but it was _so _hard and _so _easy to ignore, seeing as he had to study Arabic, Japanese, and still remember all of the ancient Egyptian scripts…

"It's an arcade, Malik. Ever seen one before?" Malik turned around, his eyes wide in surprise, only to be greeted by an elvish grin from his friend, whose hair was looking kind of rumpled. Malik raised an eyebrow. He loved doing that.

"What happened to you?" he asked casually.

"Oh, you know… stuff. I swear, those stair-steps like to move on me, because I keep falling down them." Ryou brushed a thick wad of hair out of his eyes, holding back a giggle. Malik rolled his eyes.

"Did you eat sugar?"

"_Mayyyyybe. :D"_

"Oh joy."

"That kid was rather rude to you, wasn't he?" said Ryou, once against trying to disentangle his hair. "Doesn't like to be manipulated by patent kindness, I s'pose. Grr, I need a brush."

"That much was obvious." Malik sighed. "Shall we get going?"

"What's wrong with you?" Ryou inquired.

"I don't know. I've just got a bad feeling, is all," Malik shared. Ryou was reminded of a play that his class had read recently, titled _Romeo and Juliet. _Romeo had also had a bad hunch, and the story had ended up in tragedy. But, Ryou recalled this with levity, since this was, after all, Malik he was comparing it too. And let's face it, Malik is no Romeo.

"You're silly," Ryou blurted. Malik raised an eyebrow at him, causing Ryou to flush with guilt. "Well, you are," he stated again.


	14. I have MUTILATED suspense with cheap ran...

_He was surrounded by red._

_This wasn't all that bad, really; it was a change from the unwanted, wonted blackness that unwontedly surrounded him. A blackness deeper and more piercing than even his soul…_

_It was like looking through an infra-red lens; therefore, where he was, he saw nothing but red. So he imagined blood…_

_Blood was so RAVISHING, after all! I mean, it was just so PRETTY!_

_It would look lovely on some ice cream, right? Like strawberry syrup, right?_

_Never mind. But wow, how his mind wandered. They were nice thoughts, though, at least to him. Nice thoughts of nice people lying in nice pieces on the nice, bloody ground. But now he could see it. There it was; it was an opening. Moving towards it, like a guppy flashing through the water as if to escape a larger fish, he wondered how long it would take now to escape._

_The Others were distrait. It shouldn't be too long now…_


	15. A little plot development!

_I didn't do review responses last chapter because I thought it would kill the suspense. Soooo, here they are now. _

_Akio the Dragon Master- Yeah, I'm pretty bad at suspense, ha ha ha ha ha. But you still don't know about Shadi! (raises and lowers eyebrows deviously while grinning) Two chapters and still no Shadi to explain what happened! Oo! If you read back carefully, though, you might catch a tiny clue!_ _It's hard to find, though, but it's there! ;) Will Shadi be in this chapter? You'll find out... :) :) (I love keeping people in suspense. Ha HA!) I'm thinking of re-categorizing this as mystery. There are clues... You'll find out... He he he... _

_ttSerenity- Totally lost? MY JOB IS COMPLETE! Woo! Ha ha... Just kidding. (gives her writings a knowing look) You'll find out..._

Malik blushed embarrassedly. "This wasn't really what I had in mind," he admitted, looking at himself in the full-length in mirror. He was pimped-out in a long, navy blue dress with simply-hemmed ruffles at the bottom that had been outlined in brown boot material. Ryou stifled another girlish giggle.

"But you look smashing, Malik!" Ryou laughed. Malik glared at him.

"I really think you drank before coming today," he grumbled. He brought the bottom of the dress up over his head and clawed his way out of the frilly underbelly of the dress.

"Oh, but I didn't eat breakfast."

Malik pulled the dress back on him so that he could look at Ryou and stare at him. "Didn't eat breakfast? But that's the most important meal of the day!" Malik now noticed that Ryou's fey behavior was diminishing, and that Ryou was metaphorically "sobering up"; something Malik had said had punched a nerve.

"Oh… well… I wasn't hungry, is all. I could've eaten today, if I wanted to… We still had some Pop-Tarts left and all… Or I could've had some toast, or cereal, or Cap'n Crunch—but you know, I was afraid that if I ate that some deranged loon would drive his wooden boat into my apartment on the thirteenth floor." Ryou smiled nervously.

Malik peered at him closely. This was funny, seeing as he was still wearing the dress, which he had been unable to get off, and he had to go out into the open to do this. The dress had little Indian beads that hung down from the hem, and they made _click, click_ noises as Malik _swish, swish_ed over towards Ryou and, well, stared at him!

"O.O Please don't stare at me like that," Ryou begged. "You know that I'm not starving, or anything, and—"

"You're not bulimic?"

Ryou gaped at Malik in shock. "Ew! Of course not! I can't even stand the thought of throwing up… it's enough to make me, well, throw up! And obviously I'm allowed to eat, I mean Bakura doesn't rule my life and all and—"

Ryou was rambling now, rambling madly, rambling in a panic.

"—and I really don't think that you have any reason to worry if I just didn't feel like drinking some cranberry juice this morning. I appreciate you caring, Malik, you're my best friend, but you don't have to worry. Nothing's going on. I'm not hurt or anything…"

"You drink that stuff in the _morning?_" Malik exclaimed irreverently. He stuck out his tongue. "My taste buds can't handle that in the early hours… it makes my tongue feel as if I've washed it in berry-flavored Listerine."

"Did you know you can get drunk of Listerine?" Ryou smiled, feeling chipper again. (A/N: I love that word… chipper. Chipper chipper chipper chipper chipper… chipper!)

"No; I did not know that."

Ryou's smile slowly grew. "Did… heh, did you know that you're still wearing that dress?"

Malik's eyes widened in alarm. "No I did not know that!" He rushed back into the changing room and tried to take off the dress, thinking about Ryou's lifestyle. Malik's yami had been banished at the close of Battle City, but Ryou's other self was very much alive, doing whatever it took to get the Millennium items and leaving Ryou generally out of it, as his _yadonushi-sama _was in his good graces. However, sometimes Malik got the feeling that Ryou didn't like leaving his home for long periods of time; could Ryou had a subconscious need of his other, darker self? Why didn't he have that need? Or had he had it, and then lost it?

Whatever the reason, Malik knew one thing: frilly dresses were _so _not him. He choked. Okay, make that two. Frilly dresses were so not him, _and _they despised him.

"Ryou--!" he managed to choke out between clenched teeth.

"Ahoy?"

Malik sweat dropped. "Just please come in here and get this ridiculous outfit off of me. I don't even understand how or why I got it on!"

"You look very trendy in it, you know. You're such a trendsetter, Malik. It's chichi." Ryou came into the changing area, which was rather small, causing Malik to blush because, hey, they were both guys in a tiny, cramped changing room! Malik was still wearing all of his clothes, though, having put the dress on over them.

"Turn around," Ryou commanded dulcetly. Malik did.

"Puh-_lease _tell me that you did not just mean 'chichi' like that," Malik groaned. (A/N: It means breasts. So now you know.)

"You've got to unzip this part in the back, Malik." Malik heard a zipping sound. He flushed, suddenly getting this really wrong impression of Ryou unzipping his pants. He rolled his eyes at himself.

_You really are a baka Malik. Ew. Your best friend, yet. Triple ew!_

"And then you just put it up over your head… and Bob's your uncle."

"Who's my Uncle?"

"Bob."

"Who?" Malik asked again. And then, as an afterthought, "You know, I remember my REAL uncle had this wart... Ra, it was like, _humongous, _and—"

"I DON'T want to hear it," Ryou huffed. "It's just a saying."

"Oh. It sounded cool enough. What does it mean?"

"It means that everything's done." As Ryou explained, he hung the monstrosity of a dress up on the hanger, for some poor, unsuspecting victim to try on. It was then that he happened upon a rather disconcerting revelation. "…Hey Malik?"

"Hn?"

"…You don't sound like Hiei, cut that out," Ryou snapped. "Malik, why do they have dresses in the men's department?"

Malik shrugged. "Search me."

"I'd rather not, thank you; you'll have to call Tea for that."

Malik flushed, sputtering: "Baka!"

But Ryou wasn't paying attention. "Hey, look, Malik! A new gēsen!"

A slender sweat drop clung like a brain-controlling slug to Malik's head. "What's a gēsen again?"

"It's short for game center, Malik. It's an English word adopted by the Japanese. Your English and your Japanese skills need work."

"But I already know 5 languages!"

"Yeah, but they're all archaic; nobody uses them anymore, except for freakazoids who want to take over the world with cards—OMIGOSH! Malik, look who's here!"

Ryou's tone indicated that it was somebody of grave importance, like Elvis or Carmen Elektra. Malik looked up—and wished he hadn't.


	16. Finally, the shounenai stuff you've been...

Kaiba was breathing in the fresh air. The Ishtars' backyard was positively littered with discarded dew, making the air as refreshing and wet as the scene was beautiful. Inside, Mokuba was slowly masticating his cereal into a fine pulp, Kaiba knew. He smiled somewhat reflectively. Mokuba always ate his cereal slowly; he probably wouldn't be finished until Kaiba had a long, gray beard stretching all the way down to about his thighs.

The screechy screen door opened and slammed shut; Kaiba heard the creak of the faulty wooden railing as someone joined him in leaning against it. "Hi," the person said. Kaiba brightened and returned the smile.

"Hi Yami."

Yami grinned. "Isn't their backyard amazing?" he asked, leaning more against the railing and causing it to creak in tune with the kindly zephyrs.

"Yeah. When I was little, I always wanted to have a backyard like this." Kaiba smiled sadly. "Now, I could have one like this, if I wanted. But I guess with all of the work I do, I'd never really get any time to enjoy it. I suppose Mokuba would occasionally drag me out there, though."

Yami laughed. "That's good. If Mokuba didn't take you places you might be as pale as an albino?"

"As pale as Ryou? _Gasp! _Shocking." Kaiba brought his hand up an inch in front of his mouth, the fingers spread apart, and tried to look astonished.

Yami chuckled, "You don't do that very well." The former Pharaoh leaned harder against the rail, until it was supporting almost his whole weight. The recently white-washed wood creaked loudly in protest.

"That just means I'm not easily surprised," Kaiba said smugly.

Yami chortled again. "Riiiiiiight."

The two were silent. Seto's azure eyes were trained on the landscape, and Yami's crimson orbs were trained on Seto. Yami smiled.

"What are you thinking about, Kaiba?"

"It looks as if it goes on forever," the C.E.O. said. Yami blinked; the voice had sounded so awestruck and vacuous, like a demented little child seeing fire for the first time, that it didn't sound like his boyfriend at all. However, seeing how spaced-out Seto was becoming as he regarded the nature, Yami smiled again brightly.

"Well, the Ishtars bought the last property until the mountains, so, technically, it does." Yami smiled dreamily. "You haven't even seen the best part yet! Malik took Yugi and me on a tour the minute he got here. You have to see the cabin."

"What cabin?" Kaiba asked, even though he knew fully well what cabin his significant other was talking about.

"You'll see… Come on!" Yami hopped over the fence as nimbly as he could, and landed on a patch of tiny-but-beautiful pink flowers. "Oh no!" he yelled. Kaiba chuckled good-naturedly; Yami looked so amusingly distressed over a handful of flowers.

"We can just say that Malik did it…"

Yami clucked. "Kaiba, that's mean."

"But it's true."

"Yes, but it's very mean!"

"So?" Kaiba hopped right on top of the roses, just out of spite. "These flowers look like they are made out of porcelain," he marveled. Yami smiled and nodded, grabbing Kaiba's wrist and trying to drag him out across the fields. Wet grass rubbed against their bare ankles, as Kaiba was caught in khaki pants for the first time in his entire life.

Yami dragged Kaiba past the grassy, dewy field, and steered him towards the more wooded area. There was a huge hill that was covered with kudzu here, ivy there, and Kaiba could see more dew glistening off of its leaves, and hear the early morning bugs trumpeting out wake-up calls to each oth—

Was that a door?

"Is that a door?" Kaiba asked redundantly. Yami chuckled and nodded. Leading Kaiba carefully past a patch of poison ivy, he showed Kaiba the door to the cabin.

"It doesn't open," he explained, "because it's been rusted shut, but if you go down into the cellar, there's this empty dumbwaiter shaft that you can climb through and stuff. Malik said he'd show us."

Kaiba looked at Yami like he was crazy. "Where's the cellar door?" he asked. "Let's go right now."

"I don't know, Kaiba. Malik made it sound dangerous."

"We could at least go around to the other side of the house," Kaiba suggested. "I want to see what it's looks like on the other side."

"Why?" Yami implored.

"Just do; that's all."

"Alright…"

This time, Kaiba grabbed Yami's wrist and he guided him expertly around the house, as if he had been there before. He even avoided a small patch of poison ivy that Yami had near-collapsed into when Malik had shown them this place. A shiver ran down Yami's spine as the went around the back of the house.

The back of the house didn't really look any better, or any different, than the front. The barred window of an inky black basement was half-buried, and there were a few other filmy windows that looked as if they had been smeary with Vaseline, and a bunch of crumbling bricks; there wasn't anything of remarkable mention back here. Yami looked around doubtfully.

"Kaiba, I don't see anything worth—"

Silence was forced when Kaiba pressed his lips against Yami's. Responding to the kiss and wrapping his arms around Kaiba, neither of them noticed when a pair of eyes flashed in the inky blackness of the basement, or when the windows suddenly tinted red.


	17. Awkward's got nothing on this

Note: To all of those who read _Malik's Answering Machine, _I am finally, after months and months, going to update chapter 13! However, I'm waiting to receive 20 reviews today before I do it. So get to it!

_Akio the Dragon Master- Well, this cabin IS really decrepit… the characters will explore it later, though, for reasons I won't tell and on adventures I won't spoil. :P …Your GRANDPARENTS shoot deer, too? O.o Yes! Malik cross-dressing is so funny… then again, he does have a fetish for belly shirts… ha ha._

_Hakudoshi-chan- (twitches) I've been kissed! (falls over and screams, her flesh burning) Um, what does "Yay" mean? Could you be a little more specific? Heh. Thanks for the review, though, big or small._

_ttSerenity- I keep losing you, apparently. ; Eh… not good. I shall try to be more… what is the word… limpid? o.O The vocab words are taking over…_

"Is that Yami Marik?" Ryou whispered in awe.

"…No, I don't think so…"

The person whom Ryou was referring to turned around, and they could clearly see that it was _not _the evil side of Malik; it was some punk rocker… _chick!_

Ryou burst out laughing while Malik glared at him. Having a chick mistaken for your yami was almost as bad as being mistaken for a chick yourself.

"Your vision is horrible!" Malik insulted. "I bet gophers see farther than you do!" Ryou just rolled his baby blues—baby browns. Whatever. Then: "Oh my God, is that Tea!Ryou, you have better vision than me! Check!"

"Well that was fast," Ryou chuckled. "What happened to me having the sight of a dog, hm?"

"I said a gopher."

"Isn't a gopher a dog?" Malik sweat dropped. "Um, no."

"Oh. Well I thought it was… I thought it was kind of related to the prairie dog, you know? They both burrow… Oh my gosh, that _is _Tea!" Ryou's jaw dropped. "Why is she wearing that gi?"

The gi, or martial arts training outfit, was a superficial, flawless cream color, the kind of white you expect your ranch dressing to be. It hugged Tea's bosom, and then flared out at the bottom, before being tied by a yellow strip of thick cloth with two green stripes made out of tape. Her pants, again, hugged her hips but then flared out at the bottom.

She was talking to somebody. Malik was squinting at her, wondering why in the devil she was wearing a martial arts outfit.

"Does she do karate, then?" Ryou asked. His neck swiveled so that he was looking at Malik with large, brown pools he called eyes. Malik, for a moment, felt his stomach drop out, for a reason that he couldn't explain and thought he probably didn't want to.

"I don't know… let's spy on her," Malik suggested. If Tea caught him spying on her, she may want to break up with him… and if he spied on her, he might come up with a suitable reason _to _break up with her besides, _Um, well, yeah, sorry but you're kind of boring…_

Ryou, far from wanting to know Malik's reasoning, thought that spying would be fun. The two of them snuck around the large room where they were in, moving from the _Indiana Clothes Shop _to the _Karate _center. She was talking to somebody who, like her, was wearing a gi… and some thick, red gloves, with material that reflected the glare from the ultraviolet lights they were standing under. He, unlike her, had a black belt on.

Tea glanced in their direction, and the two of them ducked out of the area quickly. Caught in the moment, they had fun running through a maze of 'Restricted' hallways, adrenaline pumping up their moods.

They came to a balcony that protruded from the far wall of the mall. It overlooked a nursery, apparently; large, leafy green things were all that could be seen, and were in such abundance that they blotted out the sun and made the room seem as night.

Malik skidded to a stop, turning around to tell Ryou to do the same, and although Ryou tried to, he slipped on a puddle of water, even though a Caution! Wet Floor sign was standing right next to him.

Seeing as the balcony had no railing to speak of, they were kind of in trouble.

Malik clumsily caught Ryou by grabbing his shoulders and pushing them away from him. Somehow, Ryou managed to gain enough traction to stop just in front of Malik in accordance with this gesture. In fact, now he nearly fell over _backwards, _ungainly fellow that he was. Malik's hands darted out and wrapped themselves around Ryou's wrists like snakes, and in fact he made an unconscious hissing sound.

He pulled Ryou up. Ryou nearly stumbled again from the combination of fright, adrenaline, and weariness, but Malik held him; in fact, Ryou and Malik couldn't have been more than a few inches from each other… no, in fact, centimeters.

The two of them froze. Ryou's face paled at the absurdly awkward situation, while Malik blushed fiercely.

There faces were so close… just centimeters away…

Then somewhere, a door slammed. Malik jumped, and then slipped over the ledge-cum-balcony, dragging Ryou with him…


	18. And I mess up the normal way of things

Hakudoshi-chan- How do I know you're not lying now? (glances at you suspiciously) I've got my eye on you… Lol.

Akio the Dragon Master- Yes! Hooray:D

Misura- The last chapter is, so far, my favorite. :D When I first got this idea, I thought I would have a profusion of Kaiba/Yami scenes, but apparently not. At least I've got one good one in, I suppose, and there _are _more to come, no doubts about it. I'm was happy when you said that you "couldn't care less".

ttSerenity- I was being ironic when I said "limpid;" I know that most people don't know that word, but I used it anyway, because I think it's funny that people don't recognize a word that means "easily understood" or "clear."

Yugi, Odion, Mokuba, and Solomon were all engaged…

…in a game of _Super Smash Bros. Melee! (Lol.) _

Yugi was Kirby; Odion was Link; Mokuba was Pikachu; and Solomon was Peach.

So far, Yugi had been KO'd only once, and that had been an accidental suicide. He was shoo-in to win; that is, until Solomon finally got the hang of Peach's jerky attacks and slapped him into the middle of next August. Odion and Mokuba were engaged as well; Mokuba's character was standing prudently under a ledge, while Odion's was on top of it, and Mokuba kept attacking with these awful bolts of lightning that Odion found he didn't like very much.

Eventually, everybody ganged up on Yugi; Mokuba used Pikachu's short-range lightning attacks; Odion startled Yugi with his boomerang; and Solomon kept pausing the game so that it showed that Peach's dress _always, _inexplicably, covered her underwear, throwing all four of them off of their game.

Yugi was KO'd two more times because of these efforts. Of course, he still game in first, being the protégé of the King of Games; second came Odion, who was very skillful with such a nimble character like Link; then was Mokuba, who lacked a proper strategy besides the get-under-a-ledge-and-shock-you-with-lightning one; and last of all Yugi's grandpa, who hadn't even really tried.

After the tedious match, the four of them sort of didn't know what to do… which was a bad thing. They weren't hungry; they'd all had a good breakfast. They weren't thirsty; Odion had the largest collection of Fanta in like, the world maybe.

They were bored. (Again, a very bad, bad thing.) Ishizu gave them some chores to do.

Odion's was to clean out the very dusty closet at the end of the hallway. The dust bunnies attacked him and nearly drug him under until Mokuba and Yugi came equipped with feather dusters and brooms to knock back their valiant foes! (Mokuba didn't think it was very funny when Yugi suggested they use him as a feather duster, though.)

Solomon's job was to… _ugh… _take out the trash. Apparently Ishizu had been throwing away a lot of messy diapers, and Solomon saw some teenage-to-adult-sized ones that perturbed him quite a bit.

Mokuba's job was to go around and make all of the beds. This was when he discovered that Ishizu had started her period last night… and apparently had forgotten to clean up the sheets in the morning.

Little Yugi's job was different, though. Ishizu wanted _him _to go and retrieve some cans from the basement.

"You have a basement?" Yugi said in surprise.

"We have a basement," Odion replied, smiling grimly. "Lucky you. It's right down there."

Odion pointed down a long hallway. It suddenly seemed even longer, and as Yugi walked down it he felt like the air was suffocating and thick. It took years to walk down the short hallway, and every door that he passed seemed to be warped, twisted, scary, and leering at him.

Yugi sweat dropped. "I knew that cereal looked stale… I didn't know Ishizu put drugs in it, though."

Yugi finally reached the door. The doorknob had been made out of 24 karat gold, but, as 24 karat is wont to do, it had melted.

Yugi felt a cool breeze behind him, making a loud _whiiiiish _sound. The Chosen One turned around and screamed.

"THERE'S A DIAPER ON YOUR HEAD!" Yugi screamed. Shadi sweat dropped.

"Um… that's a turban," he explained, quietly fuming.

"I know!" Yugi revealed cheerfully. "I just wanted to see what you would do if I said that! Of _course _I know it's a turban; I've only met you, like, three times before or something."

Shadi didn't look amused. A sweat drop dangled at a sharp angle from Yugi's head. "Eheh… Sorry, Shadi. What can I do you… for?"

"Usually you're all like, 'Oh, it's Shadi, omigosh it's Shadi, oh wow I am so in awe!'" Shadi claimed mockingly. "What happened?"

"Well, this time you didn't walk through a wall." Shadi fell over.

"Oh, I see how that is. Ra, little Yugi—"

"You actually SAY that?"

"…Sigh," Shadi dictated. "Little Yugi, I have come with an important message to you."

Now Yugi began to pay attention, his amethyst eyes swirling with the enrapture of mystique. "For me?" he repeated, as if it was a dream.

"Yes, for you." Shadi had to cough, really, really badly—all of the dust that was swirling out of seemingly nowhere threatened to suffocate him—but his nebulous reputation came first. He instead surreptitiously feinted at clearing his throat. "You are the Chosen one…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, what of it?"

Shadi glared at Yugi. "Won't you let me be mysterious at all?"

"No. Not after the hell you put everybody through in Battle City. You _do _realize, that was _all your fault?_"

Shadi glared at the short boy again. "I had Fate's reason!"

"Who is Fate—an ex-girlfriend?"

Shadi growled. "Yugi, shut up and listen! Something really, really bad is going to happen, you're going to be involved, Mokuba is too, and this time, **_you're _**the one who's going to save the World!"

"…The world?" Yugi raised an eyebrow. "Kind of corny."

"…Fine," Shadi huffed, "so it's more like the city, or at the very least, the neighborhood next door."

Shadi was extremely upset. He'd never messed up like this before. "Oh, and one more thing…" He smirked. _This _would get him, for sure.

"The scarecrow walks at midnight."

Shadi walked away with a smirk on his face. Yugi planted his hands on his hips and scowled.

"Oh, you made that up! At least I'm not bald!"

"At least _I'm _not fat!" Shadi chided.

Yugi's purple eyes bulged, his pupils dilating to nigh-microscopic proportions. "I am _not _fat!" he squeaked, his hand rising instinctively to his stomach. "You're so mean!"

Shadi grinned to himself. Who would've thought that would be one of Yugi's buttons?


	19. More character development!

_Akio the Dragon Master- Well, I didn't want Shadi to call Yugi short, that's just been done to death… even if it's TRUUUE! (Yugi sticks out his tongue at me.) _

_Hakudoshi-chan- I shall inform the Department of Suspicious Glances, SIR! (Ma'am.) The DOSG will do something about it. :)_

_Me- Who… ARE you…? (Tim! O.o; Sorry, had to quote Monty Python. There are some who know me as… Tim…) Your name confuses me so much! _

_weizel- Don't worry, there will be plenty of it… more fluff coming up in future chapters, as well as a more solid plot:)_

Yugi opened the basement door without hesitation. A blast of cool air greeted him, as if inviting him—or warning him. Either way, Yugi descended the solid, wooden steps. They were well kept, and there wasn't a creaking stair among them. That was good, since Yugi hated those obnoxious, creaking stairs: "Hey! Look at me! I creak! How cliché!" Psh.

Yugi took the stairs two at a time. _Thump-thump-thump-thump-thump—_

The boy with tri-colored hair teetered precariously on the edge of the bottom step. He raised his arms to catch his balance.

A mysterious wind tinkled down the steps, knocking him over violently.

_Crash!_

"Ow!"

Several empty tin cans clattered against the floor, shattering Yugi's glass nerves like porcelain smashing against concrete. His chin had jutted against a shelf frayed with splinters that looked like spiders' legs. Little mothballs rolled off and fell like lead-weight phantoms, "gracefully" clonking him on the noggin.

Yugi may have passed out briefly, but when he awoke his head was resting on a golden book and the lights were on.

A line of warm blood dribbled down his chin.

Sitting up and groaning, Yugi grabbed the book and ran up the stairs one at a time, making him look like a nerdy army man marching in a hurry.

He was halfway down the hall when he realized he had forgotten to retrieve what Ishizu wanted him to. Turning about-face, he returned to the basement door. He had left it open, and now it was, in his mind, the maw of some vicious stair-beast!

Stepping tentatively onto the first step, Yugi almost fell flat on his face and tumbled down the stairs; luckily, he hugged he wall, and inched his way down. He made it all the way down by degrees without incidence—then again, the light was on this time. Even so, he was an unusually clumsy person…

The light being on—Yugi gave no thought as to how or why—he could now see the rickety floor. He gasped.

The floor was made of white-washed wood. Some planks were torn up out of the floor on one side, making the middle of the floor sort of bulge upward and the rest of the floor become a little moat surrounding the bulge. It looked like a wooden sea, painted white and frozen in time, like a forgotten offering to long-lost purity. And it was ramshackle, to say the least. As soon as Yugi took a hesitant first step, the board creaked angrily at him. Yugi, deciding that this was totally unsafe—and perhaps Odion had been playing a joke when he said that this was the room?—started to back up the stairs, only to trip and hit the back of his head, hard.

"Augh!" Spittle flew from Yugi's mouth. An unspotted nail just barely poked his hamstrings, enough to hurt like a pin prick—though, in Yugi's panic, the pain escalated mentally into that of a bee-sting. Yugi screamed.

Sitting up, Yugi decided to screw the whatever-it-was he was supposed to get. He gimped back up the stairs, careful not to step/crawl on _anything_.

Pulling the nail out of the back of his leg just then, Yugi, determined to ignore the pain, walked "proudly" down the hallway… and passed Yami's room. Indignant and being ignored, Yugi punched the door open. "Yami---Okay, will you two stop that!"

Yami and Kaiba stopped making out. Yami looked at Yugi with watery, please-forgive-me-Claire-oh-wait-I-meant-Yugi eyes. "Sorry, aibou! It won't happen again."

"We'll be in a different room next time," Kaiba explicated with a smirk. Yugi face faulted.

"I don't _care," _he hissed, "but when somebody screams for help, you would think that, maybe, their _soul partner _would be the first one to hear them."

"You screamed for help?" Yami gasped. "Oh, shoot… Gomen nasai, Yugi… I…"

"Save it. You nancies have fun making out." Yugi left the room, his temperature boiling now even though he had just recently left the chilling basement.

He stormed down the hallway dramatically, until this action tired his leg, and he just walked normally—well, limped, really. He collapsed into the living room, where the others were playing a fair match of SSB:M. (They called it "fair" because Yugi couldn't play and beat them at it!)

"Thanks a lot, you dopes," Yugi said. Falling onto the couch—ONTO Mokuba, just to show how annoyed he was, he sighed. Solomon gave him an odd look.

"Get off of me!" Mokuba screamed, pushing him off. _Immediately _Kaiba appeared at the door, followed by what seemed like a gust of air.

"Did anybody catch the license plate number on that onomatopoeia?" Odion grumbled. Yugi's grandfather did his usual "oho" thing. And Yugi was already, despite his leg, well out the back door. All Kaiba had seen was the back door slam shut.

Yugi stormed outside, crushing the flowers underneath his feet. To him, they weren't beautiful plants, but weeds. Weeds just like everything else.

Hot tears splashed down his cheeks, adding a bit of ruddy color to them. _These _tears were not weak. _These _tears were angry. But what could he do? Yami couldn't help it…

Sometimes, Yugi doubted that the person he trusted the most had a heart.

Neglecting to wipe the tears from his face, he instead let them consume him, blurring the world around him. Instead of picking weeds, one could always just deny they existed…

Feeling a bit more peaceful, but just barely, Yugi made his way to the cabin.

PLEASE REVIEW! COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO… I WILL GIVE YOU A WET WILLIE IF YOU DON'T! YES, EVEN IF YOU LIVE IN… UH… ENGLAND! OR SWITZERLAND! (OH, _ESPECIALLY _THERE, DAWN! BEWARE! HA HA…)

Ok, so, I think I'll update when I get 5 reviews… just to take advantage of the suspense of the situation Malik and Ryou are in… ha ha ha.


	20. Ryou hates

_Hakudoshi-chan- No, no, no. I think that you should inform the DOSG that you are the only one allowed to glance suspiciously. (nods wisely)_

_Akio the Dragon Master- Thanks Akio! I worked really hard on that chapter… I hope you like this one, too!_

_ttSerenity- Awesome! Sounds fun. I shall keep being inspired, even if it means listening to rap music. (Heck, I sure hope it comes to that! (ogles new cd)) Bwahahahahahhahaha! (Akio-chan is probably sweat dropping right now…)_

_Me- You could be………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………you! (gasp!) The squirrels are coming! AH!_

_Yami Pandora- Yes, he definitely has. But you got to admit… For Kaiba, who supposedly hates EVERYBODY… to be… y'know… with Yami… well, that would just take the cake._

Just so y'all know, I've edited some of my chapters, adding in some new dialogue here and there! You may want to go back and re-read them… and if you haven't reviewed them before… review them now, dang it! (growls lowly)

Anyway, so, the chapters that I added new stuff to are: Chapters 7, 10 and 15. Enjoy, I guess.

Erk! Those dang birds outside sound so cheery. WHAT IS THERE TO BE CHEERY ABOUT AT 6:30 IN THE MORNING? Gah… SHUT UP, BIRDS! Where's my shotgun?

They landed in a fountain.

It was extremely fortunate that neither Ryou nor Malik happened to land on the springhead, which could have seriously damaged them. Instead, they landed with a _kersplash _very, very close to the springhead.

This little predicament happened to make them very, very wet. You may drool now.

Ryou came up sputtering. All thoughts of the previous awkward situation vanished as he struggled to reach the end of the deceptively deep fountain. "Is this a fountain or a pool?" he gasped, just barely gripping the edge. He looked back and saw Malik paddling over to him.

"It must be a kind of weird fountain-pool!" Malik declared with a snickering cackle. He could swim a lot better than Ryou could, having nearly drowned a total of 17 ¾ times on his trip to Domino City. (Yes, that is a correct count.)

"Omigosh!" some fat woman with a big hairdo was saying. "Where did you two come from! Did you drop from the sky! The stork didn't want you!"

"Um—" Ryou was going to point up towards the ledge, but Malik grabbed his shoulder, shaking his head. Ryou didn't exactly know what Malik was doing, besides trying to make him wetter.

"Get out, get out! Let me get you some towels!"

Ryou stumbled out of the fountain and shivered. Malik followed suit. The woman motioned for them to follow, but Ryou didn't want to walk in soaking wet-pants. Malik followed the woman with a promise to return with fresh towels.

It was then that Tea found him.

"What are you doing, Seto?" Mokuba snorted. "Get away from me!"

Seto's eyes softened considerably. "Mokuba…"

"Just get away! Just get _away!" _Mokuba stood up and walked out of the room in a hurry. Seto looked crushed. Solomon and Odion gibbered in order to fill the room with some sort of noise, lest silence overtake it. After a moment, though, they didn't have to; a resonant laugh filled the room.

Shadi was leaning against the doorframe closer to wear Yugi had stormed out, and was doubling over with laughter. Kaiba narrowed his eyes at him. "And what is so funny?"

Kaiba got the biggest shock of his life when Shadi was able to stand up, look him in the eye, smile, and say mischievously, "Your brother's got you whooped!"

"Shadi, shut up and help me do the dishes," Ishizu snapped. The feather on Shadi's turban drooped. (I would've said his ears, but whatever.)

"Yes, dear."

Shadi shuffled into the kitchen with a slow, uxorious pace, reserved for people whose wives have them super-whooped.

"Tea?" Ryou inquired.

"Ryou?" Tea looked him up and down. She licked her lips.

Ryou stepped away. "Ew."

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, Ryou! My lips are chapped." Ryou glared at her.

"Licking your lips is bad for that."

"Whatever."

Ryou's attitude chilled: "If you don't mind me asking, what are you doing here?" Ryou wasn't sure why his voice came out quite so cold; Tea was his friend, and his best friend's girlfriend. So why wasn't he being nice to her?

"I had karate lessons in the store next to this, and I needed some plants to send to my cousin because he's finally moving into his own apartment after graduating from a University," Tea sighed.

Ryou sneered. "Yes, we saw you. You looked ridiculous in that gi, you know."

"Who's we? Is… is your yami here?" Tea suddenly sounded nervous. Ryou rolled his eyes.

…Hey…

"Yes," Ryou lied between his teeth with a huge smile. "Yes, he is! He was complaining that we needed some new kitchen knives. He didn't fall into the fountain, though, and he probably just ditched me to go home or go torture some poor, booze-addicted hobo with his new knives." Ryou beamed with pride. "Because, you know… that's just 'Kura! He he…"

_/Yadonushi-sama./_

_Oh, eh,yes?_

_/…What are you doing/_

…_I don't know…_

It was then that Ryou started crying. He didn't sob, but hot tears mingled with the water on his cheeks.

"…Excuse me," he said, and he started sloshing off towards another section of the room where he hoped he would find Malik and they could go home. He didn't find them, so he just hunkered down in-between two potted plants like a little boy who gets stuck between two fat ladies on the bus, and sobbed to himself a bit.

_I don't even know why I'm crying…_

_/Did you break something/_

_No… Not that I know off. I feel okay…_

_/I meant did you break, like, a vase. You're always such a sissy about stuff like that./_

…_But this time I don't feel like I'm crying over spilled milk… there's something going on, and I can change it, but I'm scared._

_/Like what/_

_I don't know._

_/Want me to go into your soul room and see/_

_No. You… you're not supposed to be able to do that, anyway._

"Hey Ryou!"

Ryou suddenly had a face full of towel. Throwing it off of him, he looked up. Malik was there, top-naked with a towel around his shoulders. Tea was right behind him, with her hands on both his shoulders.

"Take off your shirt, okay? We can probably go back to that store and buy new pants. I'm sure Ishizu won't mind. She wouldn't want us walking home like this, anyway. Hey Tea, want to watch us model pants?" Malik offered with a grin. She nodded and pecked him on the lips.

Ryou spat up water. "I am _not _modeling pants," he declared. "I just… want to go home! This is your fault, Malik… you and your stupid ideas, anyway."

"Ryou," Malik said warningly. Ryou just glared at him and stood up.

_What's wrong with me today?_

"Just shut up," he snapped.

Then Ryou launched into a series of sneezes. Tea giggled. Malik laughed. Ryou hated.

"Maybe you guys should go home." Tea sweat dropped. "I can drive you."

"Thanks, Tea, that would be great." Malik looked like he was about to sneeze, but he didn't. He shot Ryou a funny-looking face, though, one that would've made Calvin & Hobbes roll over in envy. Ryou just rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Tea, that would be great… thanks."

The three of them shuffled outside of the mall. The two boys were still extremely wet, and, as the flower-shop-lady found out later, had stolen the free towels. (That lady was rather upset. She ranted and raved to her plants for hours and hours. All the plants died, and now she is a destitute gardener on welfare.) Tea made them sit in the backseat of her car, then tossed a duffelbag in Ryou's face. It fell open, and her karate clothes fell onto his lap. Instead of blushing, he just looked aggravated.

"Here, pervert," he said, shoving them Malik's way. "Something for you that you know she wore just an hour ago!"

"We were running through those hallways for an HOUR?" Malik asked incredulously.

"Yes. Remember the room with the goop monster?" Ryou asked.

"Do I ever!" Malik exclaimed.

"Boys," Tea sighed. She put her key into the ignition. The old LeSabre purred like a kitten on drugs (woo-ee!) "Do you guys want to listen to the radio?"

"Sure," the two teens replied in unison. Tea turned it on.

_Still Don't Give A ! _by Eminem came on. Tea hastily turned the song off.

"What song was that?" Ryou asked innocently. "I've never heard it before."

Malik laughed silently. "Oh! I think Ishizu has it in her room! You can borrow it!" he joked.

"Fun!" Ryou laughed.

Tea rolled her eyes. "Boys," she said again, although a bit more fondly than before.

Ten minutes later, they were on Malik's street. It was then that Tea's car decided to make like Thomas Jefferson and _die. _After Tea finished her half-hour screaming fit, they began to walk towards Malik's house together. Malik informed the two about what-had-come-to-be-known-as-the-stale-dinner-roll-argument.

"Yami's staying at your house?" Tea paused and peered at Malik. "Seriously?"

"Not just Yami. Yami, Yugi, his mother and his grandfather, and some others. Why? What of it?"

Tea shrugged. The warm sunlight played through her hair. "It's just surprising, that's all. I didn't think you'd really be okay with it."

"The Pharaoh and I are friends now," Malik chose his words carefully. He couldn't figure out whether Tea hated Yami or loved him. It seemed extremely complicated and, at least in his personal opinion (which mattered more than everybody else's!), very stupid and pointless. Who cared what Tea thought of the Pharaoh?

Malik looked up at the sky as he said this, as if in deferential thanks to Ra. The sky certainly seemed as if it could be a daedal craft of the sun god; golden yellows beams shot out at angles into a orange sky, which on its periphery faded to pink, which darkened to red, and dotted here and there were clouds, looking like hardened calluses on the canvas of the Gods.

"Um… Hey, have you noticed that Ryou seems to be following you an awful lot?" Tea broached.

Malik blinked. "You think that Ryou's stalking me? He's my best friend, Tea, of course he follows me around."

"But I mean… like a puppy… even when we're on a walk like this, he's actually just five steps behind us."

Just because Tea had worded it that way, Malik turned around to see if this was true.

Ryou waved at him. "Hiya!" lilted the Brit.

Malik turned back around. "Oi. Go home, Bough."

"My name's not Bough. And it's pronounced like Boff, anyway, you said it all wrong. You said it as if it was _Beau, _which is pronounced like bow. If you're going to quote _Johnny English_, please do it correctly."

Tea cracked up. Ryou's British accent just made everything he said so cute. But then a shadow threw itself over them.

"What do you think is so funny?" Bakura glared into Tea's eyes. Her azure orbs widened, her throat became dry. She gulped.

"Um… nothing?"

Bakura nodded coolly and turned to his hikari. "Yadonushi-sama, it's time for you to go home."

Ryou's eyes widened with…

Malik's eyes narrowed dangerously with immediate concern for his friend. Did Ryou look _panicked? _What was wrong?

"What's wrong Ryou?" he asked. Bakura flashed his eyes angrily at him.

Ryou gulped. "N-N-Nothing," he stated unconvincingly. "I…'ll go home now. See you later, per…haps?"

"Hey, wait." Malik walked over to Bakura. "Can I borrow your better half for a bit? Odion and I needed his culinary skills since we're having guests over. You can come too, if you like."

Bakura looked at him as if he was from a different planet, a strange planet where Britney Spears appeared on Pop-Tart boxes. "What the Hell does 'culinary' mean?" he demanded.

Malik smirked. "It means 'cooking', you sad excuse for an immortal. Now can I borrow your lesser half or what?"

Bakura growled. "For how long?"

Tea moved over towards Ryou. "It must be awful, being treated as a thing," she said, trying to be sympathetic and friendly. Ryou just sighed.

"No, I'm used to it." He shifted uncomfortably. Tea placed her hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"Why are you such a wimp about it, though? What's he got over you?" she whispered to him scornfully. Ryou winced and waved her hand off of him.

"It's nothing you can really comprehend, Tea."

"So it's settled then!" Bakura said loudly. "You'll get him for just this one day… He can cook for you enough then. Damn it, if I didn't owe you for Battle City…"

" Then you'd let me borrow him anyway, because you know you think I'm sexy."

Ryou, Bakura, and Tea all sweat dropped. "BAKA!" All three of them yelled loudly. Bakura gave Ryou a warning look, before strolling off quickly in another direction.

Ryou looked at Malik with a bewildered look on his face. "What did you do that for? I had homework to do at home."

Malik shrugged. "Eh, I didn't want to hang out with the geeky Pharaoh all by myself."

"I have to go now, Malik." Tea kissed him on the cheek and walked speedily towards her apartment. Ryou stared after her.

"…What are you looking at, Ryou?" Malik asked. "My girlfriend has a nice ass, eh?"

Ryou put his hand over his forehead, shielding himself from the sun. "…Tea _does _have a nice ass, doesn't she? At least, when you're far away from her and standing on your head. Otherwise, no, I don't really think so all that much."

Malik laughed and dragged his friend down the street by the collar. Ryou seemed… very unattached lately—jumpy. Not like Ryou at all. Ryou was almost never jumpy, even in a dangerous situation as one might think he would be. Malik couldn't help but notice.

"Something wrong?" he asked as they turned a corner. Ryou shook his head, as if trying to clear his thoughts.

"Tea was talking about me being treated like a thing. It just got me to thinking, is all that it is, really."

"Oh. You're not a thing; Tea's an idiot."

"Sure…" Ryou gave Malik an almost guilty-looking glance, whose origin Malik could not comprehend; "Then why do you date her?"

"Have you seen her ass?"

"Oh… Thanks for inviting me over," Ryou said, discoursing as if nothing was wrong—but still he seemed disembodied, in an eerie way.

"No problem. I was just telling the truth because you were already invited, anyway."

Ryou scuffed the sidewalk with his shoe, a small smile slowly coming into play. "Yes," he agreed amiably, although his voice was soft, "Yes I was."


	21. Seto's a total dip when it comes to givi...

Me- That's a good idea. Thank you. :) I suppose that the last chapter seemed to jump around was because it was actually two or three scenes pasted together with a very thin lining of glue to keep them together.

Alikat- There's your review:)

Akio the Dragon Master- Suuuuuuuure Akio-chan, suuuuuuure it was. :) (I really like these smiley faces, don't I?)

Hakudoshi-chan- Shadi has always had a feather in his turban. In the manga, he explains upon his first meeting that it is supposed to be the feather of Ma'at—the Egyptian goddess of Truth. She was a crucial part of the judgement after death—if your heart wasn't as light as a feather, or something like that, you'd get eaten by Am'mit. It's pretty cool.

ttSerenity- So there you are:P I was worried! Lol, j/k. Yes, a long chapter! Huzzah!

In order to please _Me, _this chapter is just what they requested. _Exactly _what they requested. Huzzah to you, _Me. _(Now doesn't that seem weird?)

The last chapter I posted was SUPPOSED to be chapter 21, but somehow it and chapter 22 got mixed up. So, yeah! Oops. :P I didn't even realize it until Akio-chan reviewed it and mentioned something in Chapter 22! I was like… oops. But don't worry! Also, if you guys review a lot, I can update every day until Chapter 25 comes out. I've got that much done. :) And this is the **_real _**chapter 21.

"You shouldn't be listening to that," Ishizu told Mokuba. Mokuba stuck her tongue out at her and pretended to turn his CD player up louder.

"It's edited," Mokuba sulked, "and what would you know? You lived in a hole! You don't have the right to judge my taste in music."

She slapped him lightly with a broom. "Don't be rude," she scolded. "Just because you have no mother gives you no right to be rude to women."

"He probably just doubts that you _are _a woman, 'Shizu!" Malik cried from another room. Ishizu's eyes glowed red and she lumbered off like a woman twice the size that she actually was, with a grimly determining gloom hanging over her eyes and a fire blazing out her nostrils. Mokuba laughed lightly. Although he had only met Ishizu three times after Battle City, he knew her anger fits well enough to know what was coming.

"_MALIK!_" she screamed.

"RUN! THE HERMAPHRODITE'S COMING!" Malik shouted playfully.

Mokuba heard scuffling noises over the low, mesmerizing beat pumping into his ears, as well as a loud holler. Muttering the words to the song aloud in a soft voice, he didn't hear Seto creep up behind him.

"I'm sorry for whatever it was that I did," the tall brunette apologized. In his blue eyes a timid sincerity was held tight. Unfortunately, Mokuba still didn't even know he was there. "I mean—no, I mean I'm, I'm sorry explicitly for not being there for you… and—"

" _I don't believe you, _" Mokuba sang. "…Seto? Hi!" Mokuba disengaged the music and looked at his brother with a smile so largely fake it was frightening. "What is a _wonderful _gay guy like you doing _right behind me?_"

With a roiling feeling building up in the backs of his eyes, Mokuba stood up and pushed his brother out of the way—a gesture that shocked the older brother so deeply that he actually moved the two feet that Mokuba's hand shoved him, out of shock and a sense of loss of pride. Mokuba stormed off.

"Nice play, Shakespeare!" Yami rolled his eyes so fluidly that the motion suggested that it had been performed a thousand times before. Which it had. Trust me on this one. "Now you won't even be able to look that racist in the face. Where are you, Seto? Where's your sense of pride?"

Seto growled at his significant other. "My brother is not _racist, _per se," he averred. "I think he's just going through a phase."

"Some phases can change a kid's whole life, Seto, if there aren't responsible adults around to help kick their bums when things go too far."

Yami's eyes glowed like the hot embers of a steadily burning fire. "You've got to be a responsible adult, Seto."

"Nunya," Seto spat. "It's none of your business, you got that Yami? He's my little brother, and he's fine."

Yami's eyes continued to glow. "You've got to be a responsible adult."

Yugi found that the cabin was easily accessible through a large hole in the wall. It's edges were jagged, but the inside of the tunnel was perfectly round and smooth, like a tube that stitched itself through the obfuscated house. The tunnel's entrance had been positively ravaged by the kudzu, as, Yugi learned, had the insides. The upset boy crawled on the dead remains of fragrant blossoms as he proceeded down the tunnel.

_Maybe I'm the only one who can fit in here, _Yugi thought, disregarding Mokuba's existence to ameliorate his fantasies. _Maybe I'll just stay here for the rest of my life. _

He was crying again. (Author's note: In the Japanese version of the anime, Yugi is supposedly quite the crybaby. ;)) _I bet those a-holes wouldn't even care! …Oops… Wait a second, nobody can censor my thoughts! Yeah! Not even that a-hole Yami… _Yugi's thoughts were becoming more timid as the tunnel grew darker and the sides of it grew more slippery; he was even beginning to slosh through what he really hoped was water. A corked dementia in the back of his mind unwound itself like an unhallowed perfume from Pandora's box, telling him that it was rat pee and that he shouldn't even be in here because there was a giant rat with huge buck-teeth waiting to sink them in-between the bones on Yugi's forearm, and then he would become a half-rat mutant hissing at any unfortunate victims for the rest of his days.

But, yeah. Yugi did have an imagination on him.

Finally, there was a dusty opening at the top of the tunnel; bending so that Yugi thought his back was about to snap into pieces, Yugi managed to grip a floorboard and pull himself up into the kitchen of the house. The light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, was only about five feet up, through another, wider tunnel, but he'd still have to crawl vertically through it. This was an ungainly affair, not only because of Yugi's certain (lack of) stature, but because dust came showering down on him with every wiggle of his little toe and launched him into a sneezing fit longer than a funeral procession; finally, though, he managed to shuffle hop the last few inches and find himself in the middle of a large hole that marked the center of the sagging kitchen floor.

Yugi gasped in amazement when he stood up.

"Maybe I shouldn't stay," Ryou said timidly as Malik led him once again into his room, where just the other day they had whiled away the time reading manga (in Ryou's case) and playing Grand Theft Auto 3 (in Malik's case). Now, though, Ryou didn't feel like playing any games; rather, he felt like he was going to throw up.

_I must be sick, _he decided. _I can't possibly stay if I'm sick, can I? If Malik doesn't believe me, we'll see how much Ishizu likes me when I blow chunks all over her carpet._

Ryou mused over a potential scenario if that was to be the case until he noticed the grim look on Malik's tan face.

"You're staying," Malik said casually with enough indignant determination to win the American Revolution.

His lavender eyes were hard-set, decisive. There was no arguing with him now. Ryou sighed in defeat, leaning back into the cushions of the couch. "So what should we do?" he asked, knowing that his 'friend,' if you could really call him that, had already done much ruminating on the subject. Malik lived to entertain friends at his house; he had probably thought up activities for them to do during the walk home, where their hair had not been as ruffled by the unruly wind as it had by the whipping silence.

"We could read manga," Malik suggested. With a mischevious smirk, he added, "I went to the comic shop the other day. I got Love Hina and I"s!"

Ryou sighed loudly. "Uh-huh… Oh really. Well I guess manga sounds okay…" He heard a door slam loudly. "What was that?"

Malik waved his hand with an air of dismissal. "Eh, probably just Mokuba throwing another one of his fits again."

"Mokuba throws fits? You mean like that girl in… Nebraska, was it?"

"I thought it was Florida," Ryou said.

Malik rubbed his chin and looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. _Hey, there's my gum! _he delighted. But outwardly what he suggested was, "Maybe it was Tallahassa."

"I think that's Tallahassee. Anyway, didn't she get arrested?"

"I think so. Odion watched it on the news."

" Americans are off the wall, aren't they?"

" That's what makes them cool."

"Yup!" (A/N: (is laughing her rump off at her own weird patriotism))

Mokuba hugged his knees, leaned against his bed, and sighed.

_My brother sucks _was his first thought. His second thought was a thought to himself admonishing himself for the first thought; the second thought involved many, many bad words.

"I hate homos," Mokuba said aloud, just for the sake of saying something. "I hate homos I hate homos I hate… homos." He slumped. "But I don't hate Seto," he whispered. "But I hate homos."

Mokuba sighed, the true situation coming to light: he had to deal with his brother's decisions; he couldn't possibly _not _be around him, because it would break his brother's heart and then Mokuba would find out about his brother's suicide in the papers. (Of course his brother would go out stylishly, and involve the Blue Eyes White Dragon! Death by duel? Heh…)

"Oh shit," Mokuba said, standing up and heading towards the bathroom. Instead of peeing or doing any of those _normal _(but eccentric!) things that people do in the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror… and then leaned forward so that his head hit it with a (in his opinion) deafening thud.

Closing the door with his foot, Mokuba screamed as loudly as he could, just for the sake of hearing it:—

"OH SHIT! MY BROTHER'S GAY! OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT…"

"Stop cussing, Mokuba," Seto's voice said behind him. His voice sounded kind of choppy, as if the syllables wavered on the border of sobs.

"…How did you get into the bathroom?" Mokuba marveled. "I thought I'd closed the door!"

"But I could still hear you. And you didn't lock it. That shows just about how much you know." Seto grabbed his toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste.

"What are you doing?" Mokuba asked innocently.

"I didn't brush after lunch."

"Well if Yami brushed his, maybe you got some of his toothpaste." Mokuba skipped out of the room, shouting "DYKE" behind him.

Seto sighed. "…Yami, what do I say?" he wondered, more to the mirror, toilet, and toilet's reflection to Yami, since the crimson-eyed Pharaoh wasn't anywhere near the same room. Seto lamented to himself, "I don't even know where to start…"

Seto sighed. This was like, in a way, writing wedding vows. You wanted to write something that would impress the other person, and make them respect you, at the same time making sure that they felt secure and loved, yet you _didn't _want to look stupid. And lately, every time Seto even approached Mokuba, one of them ended up looking terribly stupid. If Seto had to launch into an anti-racism speech, he was already sure that he would sound dumb.

But it could be worse! They could be married. :P Seto grimaced. "What an awful analogy!" he shouted at his mirror-self.

Taking a few deep breaths, he started to feel a small amount of wetness garnering around his eyeballs. He forced himself to take more deep breaths. Seto Kaiba didn't cry. _Ever. _He had only stooped that low when Gozaburo was still his stepfather, and still alive. The last time he had cried had been in Noah's virtual world, when Mokuba was brainwashed by Noah and called Noah his big brother. _Nobody _should be able to replace Seto… nobody, he thought. He had been especially scared in that case, though, because he understood that Noah could probably delete Mokuba from existence if he wanted to.

But this was worse. Seto was trying to keep himself crying because his little brother was gone… and nobody had driven Mokuba away from him except for himself.


	22. The REAL chapter 22

Chapter 22

Okay, so, I sat down last night and I thought about where I wanted this story to go. I already knew two of the big sub-plots, but I hadn't gotten any of the other minor characters in, but now I know exactly how this is going to end, okay?

…I'm lying. I'm still brainless, my pants still have holes, and I still think I need to see a chiropractor. But I do know the more than the general direction this fic is moving in. So on with it, already!

Oh, I want to clear this up right away! I"s is not, by any standards, manga-porn. It just happens to have a cast of one girl, and many many perverted guys. It's actually not even as bad as Love Hina! …Except Love Hina! has a better plot. But still, I think that Ishizu would get mad because, well, she's Ishizu…

_**This… **_

_**Is the real…**_

_**Chapter…**_

_**Twenty-two (two two two two)…**_

_**(fades out like a radio station commercial)**_

**Since I accidentally put up THIS chapter earlier, when I meant to put up Chapter 21, I felt like putting this just to remind people. **

Ryou was helping Ishizu making dinner that night. He had read his way through the first volume of I"s rather quickly, then the Egyptian woman had appeared and requested his help. Ryou was glad. Watching Malik pore over Inuyasha and Love Hina novels was like poking Ryou in the gut with a flagpole; it made him feel terribly, terribly sick to his stomach. This vexed Ryou ineffably because he loved those mangas. Today, even looking at their covers had been like wiping vomit off of a sticky floor.

"Are you alright, Ryou?" Ishizu asked him on numerous occasions. Ryou just nodded and breathed an assuagement as he chopped up soup and stirred the tomatoes. Ishizu sweat dropped. "Ryou… Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Huh? Oh… No…" Ryou thought up an excuse: "I'm just sort of wondering what happens in the next volume of I"s."

Bam! The pan Ishizu had been holding dropped to the floor, prompting a cavalcade of obloquy that spilled from Ishizu's lips like milk from a pitcher. "Sorry you had to hear that," she apologized, picking the pan back up. "Now, what were you saying?"

Ryou was too busy gazing at the clouds outside the window. "Huh? Oh, what? Oh, right—I"s. It's a good manga—the drawing is nice. The only problem is that all of the humor is sex-related and some parts are really perverted beyond all standard tastes." Ryou wrinkled his nose.

Ishizu looked at him curiously. "And you say you bought this manga?"

"Er, no, I…" Ryou got an idea; an idea that Malik would hate him for, but he could feign innocence.

"I borrowed it from Malik," he said sweetly, a fabricated halo harkening piously above his head.

Ishizu gaped at him. "I thought I told Malik he wasn't allowed to buy anymore manga…" She left the room. A tea kettle whistled. Ryou smirked in satisfaction.

Meanwhile, Ishizu flung open the door to Malik's room. "Malik, did you buy manga yesterday!" she demanded. "You were out from four 'til five. Did you _lie _about where you were going, you baka boy? I thought you'd gone to Ryou's—is that Grand Theft Auto?" she screamed. "I thought I told Odion _not to lend it to you!"_

"Well if it's Odion's fault, why are youlending it tome?"

"Because _you're _the moron!"

"Odion's a jit bag, not me!"

"Owch," Ryou mused, as he finally was able to stir the soup and chop the bread. "I bet Odion felt that one."

"Felt what one?" Odion asked as he came into the kitchen.

"Malik's mad because Ishizu found out you lent him Grand Theft Auto," Ryou explained.

Odion rolled his eyes grandly. "Did not," he asseverated, making a funny face to accompany this declaration. "He stole it. It's how he discovers things. That's how he's discovered a number of things: coffee, mini-skirts, Ken Akamatsu and—"

"Babies?"

Odion burst out into laughter as an image of his naïve, teenaged brother stealing a baby from some poor wretched woman's crib flew into his brain. "No, we actually had to explain that one to him."

Ryou looked at Odion shocked. "At sixteen!" Ryou could scarcely suppress an effeminate giggle. Neither could Odion. Soon the two of them were giggling like school girls who had just sighted their favorite crush tripping over a bunch of autumn leaves.

"Hee hee hee, hee hee hee—NO," Odion cut off abruptly. "Actually, more like when he was thirteen. But rest assured, it was _not _fun… especially finding a way to tell him when the Rare Hunters _weren't _around…" Odion flexed his muscles, a fond smiled coming over his face. "I looked so badass in my purple cloak…"

"You looked like you had DSL and you know it."

Odion looked at Ryou funny. "DSL?"

As Ryou explained the joke to him, Ishizu was finished yelling at Malik. "No video games, and no reading for three weeks, unless it's the scriptures or something by Bill O' Reilly," she declared.

"Whose Bill O' Reilly?" Malik asked tonelessly. He was trying to sound as if he didn't care, but he just sounded listless from anger.

"It doesn't matter. Oh, or something about Martha Stewart. Ciao." Ishizu closed the door and shut it tight. Malik rolled his eyes, groaning into his pillow.

"Why… Why did she take Grand Theft Auto away!" Malik shut his eyes tightly. "I need coffee…"

_SS: (giggles) Please review!_


	23. An AlmostBattle

_Akio the Dragon Master- Kya! Thank you for your INCREDIBLE compliment! It MUST be a noteworthy remark, coming from you, because if I can make YOU feel sorry for Kaiba… (Mua ha ha ha ha ha ha! Then I can RULE the world! Mwa ha ha!)_

_Misura- Thanks for the long review. It seems that I'm getting people more emotionally involved in the story as they read it. That makes me happy. (Aiyaa! (heart))_

_Hakudoshi-chan- Let's just say you're slow because it saves time. XD XD But yah, you're right. In the anime he has a turban sans feather. At well, I didn't know that. (sweat drops) But feathers are so DASHING! Lol. And Grand Theft Auto does rock. :) _

_Me- When this is all over, I'll have my people send your people cherrie pies. :) Eh, I had to abandon MY base in the Bahamas, because of a very heterodox ant problem involving glue, ants, umbrellas, and Gro-Gro formula. Sigh… And that was the base with all of the window seats, too!_

_ttSerenity- Give Norton my muffin of thanks._

Thanks to my friends Ashlee and Vincent (clarinetman on here) for pre-reading parts of this chappie!

It was after another fantabulous dinner. Ryou and Malik were in Malik's room, watching _The Emperor's New Groove _with a reluctant Mokuba. Disney or not, the two teens knew when the humor was good.

Yugi was still nowhere to be found. So Ishizu and Mrs. Motou deployed Odion to find him. Odion marched past the field towards the obfuscated cabin; he remembered Yugi being fascinated by it when Malik had pointed it out to him. And so, that was where he was headed.

Yugi gasped. This place was _awesome. _Everything was covered by three layers of dust and then some; tall stools guarded an island counter; pots and pans still hung from the ceiling. It was just like the kitchen that Ishizu had been working in earlier—Yugi could even imagine her flipping pancakes next to the dilapidated stove—except it was so much older, very ramshackle, and there was a big depression in the middle of the floor, of which Yugi was currently the cynosure.

Running his hands along the frayed wallpaper, Yugi exited the kitchen and entered a long but narrow hallway, wishing to familiarize himself more with this neglected world of unscathed rust. Walking to the end of it, he entered a room that was ornate, with sheer curtains and a delicately carved fireplace.

There was also a couch.

…Hm, yes, Yugi rather liked the couch.

Hungry and tired, but still doltishly ornery, Yugi laid himself down on the couch, not suspecting a thing as he bulleted and bolted into the arms of Morpheus.

He awoke in a dark realm. The horizon was blood-red but the sky was purple, the ground mirroring the sky's hue. Maniac laughter sounded someone—nearby? Faraway?

"Who's there?" Yugi muttered; he had meant to shout it.

More maniacal laughter poured in from the sky, like a thousand warbling, mocking bats. In fact… a bright blue funnel opened up and a profusion of those very mammals spiraled downwards. A gasp froze in Yugi's throat as he watched the creatures form a shrieking tornado of beady eyes and wings. The rush of air they created as they circled and whizzed vehemently through the air threatened to knock him off his feet. The gale grew stronger and stronger, and then died down. The bats started to disappear, as if flying into an invisible portal. Finally, the last few bats flurried around their evil idol.

It was Michael Jackson.

Yugi gasped. "No!"

Michael Jackson's pasty-white hand rose up and hooked itself under his chin. Then, he peeled his face off.

"W-ha ha ha h-ha h-ha!" Bakura doubled over with sophomoric laughter. "That was priceless."

Yugi's jaw hit the floor with a _clank_. "You…!" That was all he could think to say.

Bakura kept snickering. "That was priceless," he chanted, mocked. A few bats lazily circled around him. One perched on the quondam tomb thief's shoulder. The rest fled, shrieking with frightening intensity. Their combined screams and shrieks grew until a loud roar before they disappeared like the others.

A few autumn leaves blew across Bakura's sneakers. "Welcome," he said, striking a bad-ass pose. The bat on his shoulder squeaked. A mischievous gleam… _gleamed, _in his eye.

"Where are those leaves coming from?" Yugi asked. He followed the never-ending path of rotted leaves with his eyes.

"Oh… that." Bakura mumbled, "I have somebody—something—doing that for me. Special effects, you know."

"Aw!" Yugi lilted. "Special shadow-magic-effects just for me? That's so sweet, even if this is a dream, Kura-_chan._" Yugi stuck out his tongue.

The bat yawned. "This isn't a dream!" Bakura snapped. "You're in the Shadow Realm!"

"But I'm asleep," Yugi pointed out the obvious.

"We are inside the haze of shadows that exists in your mind," Bakura said. "And I came here… with this."

Yugi gasped as Bakura unveiled the bulky object from underneath his blue-and-white striped shirt. The gold object glimmered, a false catharsis in the purple, a refreshment of evil. Bakura seemed to drink in the darkness it wrought greedily, a smug look on his features. Yugi's hands flew to his throat, to his head, and back to his throat again. Fearful tears stung his eyes. "You…"

"Me," Bakura said smugly, grandly gesturing to his new bling.

It was the Millennium Key.

"Where did you get that?" Yugi inquired loudly, in a voice much more brazen then he felt. "That's… that's Shadi's Millennium Key!"

Bakura rolled his eyes. "No duh, Sherlock. And therefore, where do you think that one might acquire such an item? I would think from none other than Shadi himself." His eerie accent crept into his tone, and every laconic word sent another frisson down Yugi's spine.

"You monster," he whispered. And then, much louder—"What have you done with Shadi?"

"There is no need to worry." Bakura smiled and bared his teeth a little. "Your friend Shadi is well, though he won't be, if you happen to lose our little game. Yugi, you and I are going to have a little fun."

"We're going to do the Chicken Dance! Now!"

Bakura anime fainted face-forward. "Unh! Not that much fun!" He stood up and took out his deck. "Yugi, I don't care what you think, but I think you ought to know that I am not a villain to be handled with levity."

"I understand." Yugi bowed out of habit. "But, um, I don't have my deck."

"What!" Bakura feigned shock. "But you're a guest in the Ishtar home! That gives you multiple opportunities to duel Ishizu, Malik, Odion, Mokuba, Kaiba, your yami… and yadonushi-sama."

The critter perched on Bakura's shoulder awoke from its latent slumber, shrieked, and flapped its way towards Yugi. It sat somewhere in-between them and paused to prink itself.

"I've never seen your Ryou duel," Yugi moaned, thoroughly spooked. The bat had flown upside down, as had all of the other bats, Yugi now realized.

"Oh, you will, if he ever stops brown-nosing and decides to be a warrior." Bakura smiled like a creepy lady with too much lipstick—you know the kind. The kind you try to smile at, but cringe? Yeah. Like that. "He's really quite good!" he bragged. "We greatly influence each other's strategies… and lives."

Yugi shuddered. The bat squeaked irreverently.

_Something feels wrong, _he thought. _What's up with that bat? It's acting weird. _

_Why do I feel like I've gained a thousand pounds?_

_This is a dream, isn't it?_

"Aren't bats supposed to sleep in an inverted position?" Yugi pressed. "You know, like, upside-down?"

Bakura's smile broadened.

"Take a look, little Yugi," he said, "and you'll see that we _are _upside-down!"

Yugi realized that this was true and suddenly he airsick. While Bakura watched in amusement, Yugi "did the Technicolor yawn". Yugi watched his lunch float_ up. _It was the craziest feeling.

"Our duel, much as I love spending time with your cuddly but prickly self, will have to end sometime. Therefore the first person whose blood rushes to their head to the point where they die will lose the duel!" Bakura smiled and added, "Obviously. Now take out your deck."

"I told you, I don't have it. I told Yami to pack it but he forgot. Yami always forgets," Yugi added.

"Oh, that's too bad. I guess I'll just have to tell you that now I have it," Bakura's eyes sparkled with a pleasureful mischief while he coolly took Yugi's deck out of his pocket, "and if you lose the duel, I get to keep it, because in this duel, we're using each other's decks! W-ha h-ha ha!"

Bakura smirked at Yugi, who looked bewildered. "So, here." Bakura pitched his deck to him hard and fast. Yugi had to leap miraculously to catch it, and he desperately wished that he would tumble to the "ground," yet he rocketed back up to the ceiling.

He needed courage.

_I'll show Yami what a deadbeat he is, _Yugi snorted. _I never needed him before and I don't need him now! _

"Ok!" Yugi shouted. _I've got to be strong, for Shadi's sake and for the sake of everyone else! _"Let's duel!"

"Yes, let's."

"Master Yugi!"

Yugi suddenly felt the earth quake beneath him. "Huh?" he said—his voice sounded as if he had been drooling and sleeping for quite some while.

"Master Yugi, wake up!"

Yugi's eyes snapped open. "What?" he blurted.

Odion's golden eyes narrowed in concern. "Master Yugi, you were shouting in your sleep…"

"How did you get in here?"

"I came in through the front door." Odion smirked. "I see _you _took the tunnel. Don't worry, that stuff that smells _is _water."

"The front door…?"

"Yeah; the tunnel starts in the back of the house because the front of it faces away from the back of _our _house, if that makes any sense. The front door is practically rusted shut, but I managed to get it open."

Yugi, eyeing Odion's arm muscles, nodded curtly. "Um, so why are you here?"

"I was sent to find you. Your mother was worried. She said that you'd never missed eating a hamburger in your entire life. That's pretty sad, you know, when you say it out loud."

"Well I haven't." Yugi's stomach grumbled. "Aw man… y'all ate _hamburgers?" _Yugi wailed, "Nooooooo! So hungry… uh." He fake-fainted. "Carry me, Odion," he joked.

Odion picked him up and threw him six feet. "OW!"

"You walk," Odion said gleefully. Yugi laughed and rose to his feet, the almost-duel now reduced to nothing more than a bruise of a dream, one that he didn't expect to be having again anytime soon.


	24. The chapter I've been waiting for

_Ok, people! This is a HUGE changing point in the story. In fact, this is my favorite sub-plot yet! I don't know if any of you were able to perceive it, but if you were, good for you! - _

_Review responses:_

_Akio the Dragon Master- Ha ha ha… yes. Yes he is. (By the way, I told Yami you called him cute. He fell over and his head on a chair. He's in a coma. O.o;)_

_Hakudoshi-chan- Ha ha ha, that part was my favorite. :) Death to MJ!_

_dragonlady222- Thanks for telling me what you want. Other people are requesting more of that—unfortunately, this chapter doesn't contain any. (Or does it?) It does, however, contain something worth reading. (At least I think so, heh.) So please enjoy and review!_

I updated even more chapters! Now Chapter 6 and Chapter 14 have slightly more content. Woo-hoo!

"So then Miho tore Joey's notebook up and screamed at him 'cause he was a pervert," Ryou finished his story, "and Joey got in big, big trouble…"

"Ah. And then what happened?"

"Um… I don't really know…" Ryou blushed. "Tristan was telling me this story, and he had to go and meet Joey after school that day, so he couldn't finish telling me about it."

"Why didn't you ask Yugi?"

"Yugi was absent. And I… I'm not really supposed to be around him," Ryou confessed, playing with a small tear in his jeans.

"Oh." Malik sounded very annoyed.

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Hang out?" was Malik's obvious reply. Ryou sweat dropped.

"I see…"

"I'm sorry, I can't think of anything particularly interesting to do right now. You know, because some lunkhead got my stuff taken away."

"I am soooooo sorry Malik." Ryou looked guilty beyond belief. However, inside he felt… surprisingly good. All he really did over at Malik's house was play video games and read manga. Sometimes, he felt like he never even really got to be with the real Malik. Of course, that notion was crazy…

"It's fine," Malik waved him off, "totally, totally fine. Thanks for ruining the rest of my summer vacation, you eejit."

Ryou bowed. "Gomen."

"Gomen's not good enough, you eejit."

Something inside of Ryou was squeezed. He looked at Malik harshly. "What on _Earth _is an eejit? Because if it's something dastardly I think I'm going to slug you."

"I'd like to see you try!" Malik flared.

"Did it ever occur to you _why _I might want Ishizu to take away all that stuff! Not that I did it on purpose, but now that I look back on it I don't feel sorry at all!" Ryou shouted.

"What reason could you possibly have for taking our fun stuff away?" Malik yelled back.

Ryou's cheeks were burning, and they stung. "Because it's not fun if I'm not hanging out with you!"

"I'm right here!" Malik protested.

"Just because you're in the same room doesn't mean that we're on a friendly basis! Friendship is more than just reading somebody's manga and cheering them on while they play Grand Theft Auto; you're completely silent during the entire time! It completely drives me up the wall!"

"Well I have to concentrate!" Malik pointed out. Ryou raised a single eyebrow at this remark.

"You care that much about a dumb, racist video game? Malik, that's pathetic! That's so blandiose!" Ryou's heart beat loudly in his chest. "Didn't you ever hear about what happened to that one girl, Sour Schuyler? They were talking about it on a forum on the Internet. She became too obsessed with Resident Evil, and she went crazy and started ripping people's faces off."

"That's totally absurd! You net-head! You actually believe all that crap?"

Ryou sweat dropped. "No, of course not, baka! But I was just pointing it out!"

"Why? It's stupid!"

"Well so are you!" Ryou said angrily.

"Well so's your uncle 'Bob'!" Ryou would've smiled, but this wasn't fun for him.

"Well so's your face!" (Malik was, at this time, contorting his face in a way that looked like a cross between Michael Jackson and a gargoyle, or doing one, or whatever.)

"Well so's your mom!"

"Well so's your taste in music!"

Ryou gasped.

"Well… well so's _your jewelry!" _he assibilated.

Now it was Malik's turn to gasp.

"You take that back!"

Ryou's face burned. "No way! _You!" _

"You're the one who said it!"

"You're the one who started it!"

"You're the one whose fault it is! And you're the one who got all pissy first!" Malik swore.

"Did not! You're the one who got so pissed because I accidentally mentioned that you were reading manga! I didn't know that you'd actually snuck out to see me and that you didn't want to come with me to the manga shop because you weren't allowed to. You should've told me!" Ryou blushed. "Why on Earth would you do something that stupid, anyway! What was the point of going with me?"

"I wanted to make sure that you wouldn't be with Bakura!"

"Nani?" Ryou looked perplexed. "Why… do you care?"

"Because _something _is going on with you, and somebody is beating you! I see those scratch marks and bruises on your arms all the time! It looks like a gang of little people hit you with sticks!"

If the situation had differed slightly, Ryou would have giggled like the munchkin that leaves its black shorts in Akio the Dragon Master's laundry room. But he didn't. He was steaming mad.

"**_My yami has NOT been doing anything bad, you ass!" _**he screamed. "And if you think otherwise, than you can go to hell! Even if you're right about some people beating me, **_it's not Bakura, _**so you can just shut the heck up! You're ramped anyway. You always are. Your brain is permanently twisted up with alcohol!" Ryou slumped, adding, "or somethin'."

"Why do you always defend him!"

"Why do you always get offended when I defend him!" Ryou shot back.

"'Cause you're my friend!" Malik stood up and stood in front of Ryou, glaring straight into his eyes. Ryou glared back at him. "And Tea told me that the best way to be a good friend is to look out for other people! Weren't we hanging out together today? Huh? Weren't we stalking my girlfriend together?"

"Do you even _care _about your girlfriend!" Ryou cried disgustedly. "I can't even tell!"

"Of course I care about her!" Malik screamed. Ryou picked up a pillow and clonked him with it.

"Yeah, about the size of her jeans!" he stated sarcastically. "You're such a jerk, Malik."

"Why am _I _the jerk?" Malik demanded. He made to pick up another pillow to get Ryou back, but Ryou pushed him, making Malik get a face-full of blanket. "Hey!" Malik yelled, even before he felt Ryou move to get on top of him, turning his face so that his lips were pressed against his…

In his apartment, Bakura mentally kept tabs on his yadonushi-sama's advances amusedly. This live soap opera was almost worth having to lose the chance to duel with little Yugi. Bakura took a sip of… tea, of all things. Ryou had left some in the fridge.

Well, little Yugi thought it was all a dream, didn't he? That was a crucial mistake. He had to wait, again, though, until his heart was weak… right now, his best bet would be to go after little Mokuba, but Bakura really wasn't interested. He didn't see what having any power over little Mokuba would do for him, and couldn't imagine what he would make the young boy do if he lost (which he would).

Bakura smirked and touched the Millennium Key; it was hanging around his neck. He had entrusted the Millennium Ring to his yadonushi-sama; that was a mistake he would have to remedy before his duel with the Pharaoh himself. Of course, by then, he would have all of the other items…

Shadi's scales were his biggest fear. If Shadi places him on trial with his residual Millennium item, Bakura would be hell bound almost instantly.

Shadi was deplorably weak, now, though, so Bakura felt very confident in his abilities to win. But for now… he had a fun job to do.

Opening his apartment window, Bakura took out an aluminum can of iced tea, and stuck it in his rather large back pocket. He was wearing tan-colored cargo pants that were three sizes too big for him, a tight, black cotton muscle shirt, and a red hoodie with a picture of a black skull on it bursting into white flames. Resting against his chest was the Millennium Key. He also was hooked up to his MP3 player. He didn't know what song it was playing. His yadonushi-sama had given it the device to him for his birthday—Ryou's birthday, that is. Since Ryou didn't know Bakura's birthday (and Bakura was reluctant to admit he didn't remember it,) he had decided that his worse half could share his birthday. And so, even though nobody else ever did, every September 2, Ryou gave his other half a present. This had only happened once, but then again, birthdays only came once a year.

Bakura leapt off of the window ledge, landing safely on the ground behind a lilac bush. Some dumb old lady had been walking down the garden path, and she saw Bakura and ran off screaming, "It's the bat devil! RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE, BROWNNOSING LIVES!" (Bakura wondered what _she _did for a living. O.o;)

Bakura broke out into an impatient run down the pebbled walkway. The scent of jasmine tickled his nose. It was his favorite scent.

Tonight was going to be so much fun.

Tonight, he began Operation: Shadi. Yes, he realized it was a crude name, but such a minor detail could wait until his natural ingenuity revealed itself with a more engaging title. Until then, Operation: Shadi it was.

As Bakura ran down the sidewalk outside of the apartment complex, a few dead leaves flew across his sneakers.

A few whispers caught his ear; he turned down a corner sharply and saw Tea thanking somebody's mother for something she was holding in a plastic bag. Bakura approached her, his bangs going down.

"Hi, Tea!" Bakura greeted in his friendliest Ryou voice. Tea gave him a shocked look, and he could hear a gurgle of a shriek rise up in her throat before she slammed it back down with a large gulp. She whipped the plastic grocery bag behind her back.

"Oh… Ryou! Hi… Um, I thought you were at Malik's house? He he he." Oh, as if he didn't see the HUGE sweat drop on her head.

"I went home to get some things," Bakura said chipperly. (A/N: Yes, I know it's not a word. Hush.)

"Well where are they?"

Ryou shrugged. "Apparently Bakura decided that everything I could possibly need for a sleepover at Malik's house was disposable; I found most of it in the trash and I left it there."

"Aww…" Tea jutted out her lower lip. "That's so unfair. Ryou, fight back!"

Ryou shrugged. "I wish I could, Tea, but I'm afraid that I'm just a pansy. Anyway, want to walk with me to Malik's house?"

Tea blushed. "Su—Sure!"

The walk seemingly took seconds; sooner than Tea thought, she was standing in front of the Ishtar home. As soon as the door was open, Bakura seemed to disappear, and all she saw was a very, very miserable, very, very bedraggled figure standing in front of her.

"Hi," whispered Mokuba. "What do you want?"

"Mokuba?" Tea said, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm staying with Seto."

"He is…?"

"Yes, he's here too." Mokuba felt awkward, so he opened the door for her like a polite little gentleman. "Come on in; I'm sure Ishizu won't mind… I think. What's in the bag?"

Tea blushed and held the bag close to her chest. "Nothing," she said simply, "absobloodylutely nothing!"

"Fine… Hey Tea?"

Tea still hadn't stepped inside; Mokuba still hadn't moved out of the way. "Yes?"

"…When you love somebody, you look up to them no matter what, even when a decision they make is wrong, or bad, right?" Mokuba looked at her wistfully. "Even if… even if they did something you absolutely can't stand, or think you can't live with… something that makes you want to dig a hole and crawl into it and hibernate and until you can wake up in the spring and find out it was all a dream? You still have to look up to them and love them, right?"

Tea smiled sadly and reached out, ruffling the younger boy's hair. "Right!" she said. "Um, can I come in? I had to give something to Malik…"

"Sure. Thanks Tea." Mokuba took a few steps back and, without saying so much as a "cya round," he jogged off down the hallway towards his bedroom.


	25. This chapter is SO funny in my opinion

Review responses-

dragonlady222- You were the first one to review the last chapter! So you get pocky! (hands you pocky) Of course, it may totally disappear while being transported through time and space to your front door. And I may have forgotten a postage stamp. Anyway… I was planning on writing Chapter 24 since… chapter 2! Ha ha. There's a little bit of what you wanted in this chapter. Feeling sorry for Tea? Good to know.

Hakudoshi-chan- You have become really lax in your reviews… what does that last review _mean? _Come on, it's not fair if you're not going to tell me what you didn't understand! Onegai? (Or is it kudasai? O.o;)

Akio the Dragon Master- Ah, so Gregory has a thing for stories centered around homosexuals and homophobics, eh? …Gregory is weird. I must meet this Gregory. Maybe he will talk to me again…

_It wasn't fair… he wanted to play, too! He wanted to get back at Shadi as much as anybody did. But he was trapped here… waiting… with no idea when he would be able to escape, save that he knew that it was supposed to be soon._

_Soon, maybe he could paint the walls with the Pharaoh's blood… maybe Yugi Motou's first, just to set the quondam ruler, present asshole off. Or maybe he could trick Yugi into helping him._

_But none of this would matter if that tomb thief got to him first… He strained and struggled against his bindings. It was no use. Someone Outside had to perform the Ritual…_

_In the meantime, observing the Outside continued to be very entertaining… he had deigned to enjoy watching these mortals' everyday lives. Oh, but he'd destroy them all… _

"WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!" Tea shrieked. She nearly dropped the bag.

"Um…" said Malik doltishly.

"Making out?" suggested Ryou. "Is that what it's called?"

"I believe so, yes," confirmed Malik.

"Ah. Then that's what we were doing." Ryou nodded wisely in satisfaction with his conclusion.

Tea looked at them both, horrified. "WHY are you two doing that?"

"Well we're not doing it anymore, we're talking to you!" Ryou noted happily. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he managed to slide off of it completely and hit his chin on the floor. "Ow!"

"Ooh! Ooh! I know the answer to this one!" Malik waved his arms frantically in the air. "We're drunk!"

"Yes," Ryou followed suit, "we're very, very drunk. So don't come back tomorrow, 'cause we'll have _hangovers!"_

The way Ryou said _hangovers _made Tea want to laugh. Instead, she glommed him suspiciously.

"You two don't smell like alcohol…"

"Well, really, it was just some shots put in our lemonade by that kind and wonderful person… er… what's his name…"

"The famous gay!" Malik shouted. "I mean, the famous guy!"

"Oh, yeaaaaaaaaah…" Ryou blinked. "Who?"

"Barney," Malik said with a smile. Ryou giggled.

"Oh! You must mean Seto Kaiba," Ryou giggled. _Sorry, Seto, _he apologized tacitly, _but you were the only one I could think of!_

"Yes, and we did have lemonade during dinner," Malik pointed out.

"You two don't _sound _drunk…"

"Well that's right; who said we were drunk?" Pushing himself to his knees, Ryou managed to fall and smash face-forward into Malik's nightstand. The Egyptian started laughing his head off. Tea pursed her lips together, and turned around to leave. Then she turned back around and grabbed Malik by the ear.

"I needed to speak to you," Tea said sweetly. Malik nodded dumbly and allowed her to drag him out as he yelled something about baby elephants with sinus infections. As soon as Tea was out of sight, Ryou sat up and sighed. Tea was still in control, it seemed, and—

Hey, why did he sense his yami?

Bakura crept into Shadi's bedroom. He could scarcely suppress the maniacal laughter that itched his throat; so instead, he hummed evilly. Yes, that's right, he _hummed. _Got a problem with that? Take it up with the Lame Evil People Department of Japan. It's not my job to suit your whims. :P

Bakura crept up behind Shadi and clicked the Millennium Key to his head. For anybody normal watching, this would have looked _really, really _strange. Some white-haired guy comes in and hits a bald tanned guy in the head with a giant key. What would _you _think?

The next thing Bakura knew, he was inside of Shadi's soul room. For somebody so exotic and foreign and mysterious, you'd think that Shadi's soul room would've held a plethora of secrets; and it did, many about the ancient past, but Bakura wasn't interested in those quite yet. First he wanted to do something funny.

Yes, Bakura has a sense of humor. And it's just coming into effect, right now. Let's all watch, shall we?

He started to move furniture with the gleeful look of a child who knew he was moving mommy's favorite pair of shoes where she couldn't find them.

"Hi Seto!" Mokuba chirped as he entered his bedroom. Seto warily regarded his brother from behind a copy of the _Beijing Times. _

"Hello."

Yami was in the corner, playing Mahjong Solitaire on Seto's laptop. "Hello, Mokuba."

"Hello, Yami." Mokuba bowed politely towards him. Sifting through some items in his closet, he pulled out a book. It was emblazoned with a label proclaiming that it was a Barnes & Noble Classic, whatever that meant. "Bye…" He started to leave, but Seto interjected.

"Hey, Mokuba, what book is that?" Seto asked curiously. Mokuba curled his upper lip in a malevolent smile.

"_Dracula," _he averred, before walking out of the room.

Yami couldn't understand it when Seto started screaming.

Tea dragged Malik outside. "I don't care whether you're banjaxed or not, I wanted you to have this… The woman who gave it to me, she's the mother of one of my friends." Tea shoved the plastic bag against his torso and into his hands. "You said you needed it for something. You're so weird. Well, then." She kissed him on the cheek. "Bye!"

She broke off running at top-speed. Malik stared after her.

"Thank goodness for my quick thinking," he mused, "or was it Ryou's idea? I can scarcely remember. Hmm… I wonder what she got me? –Why am I talking to myself aloud?"

He peeked into the plastic bag and paled considerably. "Oh my goodness," he laughed. "This should be… amusing…?"

Malik took the item out of the bag and giggled. It was a pink, silk, padded brassiere. He could hardly suppress his laughter as he walked back into the house. "I must have the best girlfriend in the world!" Malik smirked as he said this. "She's actually helping me with my plot… and she's stupid enough to believe that I'm not—"

"What 'plot'?" Odion interrupted. "And you're not what?"

Odion leaned against the doorframe that led into the dining/living area. Malik gulped, and startened to quicken his pace. Odion reached out and plucked Malik up by the collar like a part-time blueberry picker in Canada. "Oh, no. You're explaining. What 'plot' did you have in mind? If it's anything like the one you and Yugi pulled last month, with the tea kettle and the stolen monkey—"

"It's nothing like that, Odion!" Malik assured him. "I'm just going to embarrass Shadi, is all. He'll never know what hit him, and nobody will get poked in the eye with a banana or be forced to drink fish-food through a dog muzzle like last time."

"You mean tea. That 'fish-food' was _tea._"

"Yes… yes, I mean tea." Malik shook his head, trying to forget the awful taste that that monkey had shoved down his throat. "There also won't be a barbeque grill involved, so the monkey—I mean, if there is one—_or if there was one," _Malik tried to save himself, "so that it wouldn't get cooked. But don't worry. All it involves is a bra."

Odion raised an eyebrow, one golden eye trained on him in the manner of a bird-of-prey, the other securing the hallway and making sure nobody passed by. "You…"

"I?" Malik echoed.

"You stole your sister's bra."

Malik fell over with a loud _thunk _that was probably heard all the way down the hall. A door was heard opening, and then slamming shut, and a few quick, padded footsteps were heard pussyfooting away from them. Odion tensed, but Malik gave a sigh of relief.

"No, I did not steal my sister's bra," Malik said (too loudly for Odion's taste). "I had my girlfriend pick one up for me! I don't even know whose it is… which is kind of sadder than if I _had _stolen one of Ishizu's. Anyway, I just wanted to put it in Shadi's turban, so that if we manage to get him to take it off—"

" 'Take it off!' " Odion said in a squeak. Malik stared at him.

"…Don't ever do that again."

"Okay."

"Yeah. Anyway, so when he takes it off it'll fall and everybody'll see it." Malik looked extremely pleased. "And it's all thanks to my bird. Well, see ya! I've got stuff to do."

"Wait a second!" Odion once again grabbed Malik's sleeve like a middle school student tugging on a roll of red paper from the colored-paper rack. "She just came over to give you a _bra?_"

" Apparently so," rejoiced Malik, "which is all fine with me, because I really can't stand it when she hangs out in the house. It's so _annoying…"_

"You should break up with her," Odion advised, nodding. Malik nodded eagerly.

"I'm gonna! –As soon as this trick is over, because I might need her help again." Malik smiled evilly. "But don't worry, Tea is evilly replaced now…"

Odion raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you weren't very popular at your school."

Malik tossed the bag over his shoulder and started to walk away, this time without interruption as he called back over his shoulder, "I'm not. But everybody has their one special fan."

Odion's eyebrows switched positions, the left one lowering and the right one raising. "Oh, I… I have no idea what you're talking about?"

_One special fan? _Odion wanted to rub his temples right now. _Dude, not even I have groupies…Lucky!_

Odion grunted disconsolately and turned away, leaving Malik to whatever fun and games he desired. And he desired… Ryou… aiding him with TURBOGRAF-X 16 madness!

Malik's Turbografx-16 would be locked up in his closet, as always. Malik had collected only a few games for that system—the real, real old, the real, real rare, and the real, real good. (A/N: Say that last sentence out loud. It's REALLY fun to say!)

As soon as he was out of sight, Malik turned the doorknob and slipped quietly into his room again.

"Hey Yugi," Yami said as he entered the room. "What's up?"

"Zzz…"

"Are you sleeping?"

"Zzz…"

"Hello?"

Yugi rolled over. "The banana-bread wasp stunk Douglas Adams on his birthday… Zzz… bad banana-bread wasp, bad monkey idols… Zzz… the QUEEN!" he murmured loudly. Yami sweat dropped.

"Yep, he's definitely asleep," the oh-so-intellihentay Pharaoh concluded. (A/N: Intellihentay is an inside joke. It means intelligent.) He sunk to the floor and started to get undressed. "And he took my spot, too! I thought we agreed that _I _called dibs on the bed. Hmph."

"What's that?" Kaiba asked, sticking his head into the room. Yami shook his head. A blush bore itself timidly on the tips of his ears.

"Nothing, Pooky," Yami informed him, "now scram."

"Not unless you stop calling me Pooky," Kaiba demanded, scowling vehemently. "Where on Earth did you get such a ridiculous name? I don't want to be called that."

"But _why, _Pooky?" Yami whined. He tried his best to give Kaiba what others called "the puppy eyes". Yami's eyes weren't nearly as cute as Mokuba, Ryou, or Yugi's when they wanted something, but they were intriguingly interesting, a mixture of liquid ember and sugar-induced mental incapability. If you didn't understand that sentence, you may be offended by the last two words in it.

Kaiba stared at Yami's eyes for awhile before he realized that he was staring. Then he snapped at Yami growlingly, "Because you're doing it to bother me!"

" Hm… by George, you're right!" Yami leapt to his feet just as Kaiba asked, "Who's George? Is he a writer?"

" No silly," Yami giggled.

"Stop making that face," Kaiba snapped. "I _told _you that you shouldn't have eaten that entire back of Jolly Ranchers."

" But I brushed my teeth!" Yami insisted. "Like, five times! Yugi's mother made me stop. Something about wearing the enamel off of my teeth… whatever that is."

Kaiba rolled his eyes, but before he could respond to his boyfriend's sugar-driven behavior, Yami leaned up and kissed him before shouting "BYE!" and slamming the door in his face.

Kaiba blinked. "Blink, blink," he said, "that was weird."

"What's even weirder is you narrating your actions," Mokuba opined as he passed him by. "Come to bed, Seto. You're going to need sleep, you know. C.E.O.'s aren't, like, super-powerful or anything."

"C.E.O.'s in general are not. I, however, _am! _Mua ha ha, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha—"

"Seto, stop it," Mokuba scorned. Kaiba's ears, had he been a dog, would have dropped.

"Sorry."


	26. Diaries

Misura- This was supposed to be in chapter 24 or 25, but somehow it got pushed waaaaaaaay back here. Sorry. Glad you liked the fact that Odion has a backbone, because he's going to be in this a lot more. I mean a _lot _more. Huzzah!

dragonlady222- Thank you for the pocky! (eats chocolate flavored pocky) Mmm… _pocky…_

Hakudoshi-chan- Glad to see that I haven't totally lost everyone yet. People like that are rude. Don't pay any attention to such an ignorant flamer.

Akio the Dragon Master- HAH! I told you it was Gregory! Glad that your house isn't infested with girly-man munchkins… just a girly-man Colton, eh?

Zoeybell- To answer your question, Mokuba doesn't know. Nobody does so far, except for Tea, who isn't really sure what it's all about. You'll just have to see how Mokuba's attitudes towards things like this develop, now won't you? (Insert wink here)

This is a… DIARY CHAPTER! WOO-HOO! So, yeah, it's a diary. So, yeah, whatever.

_Dear… no, I'm not calling you my journal. I'm going to call you Fred._

_Not-so-dear or even liked Fred,_

_Last night, after re-entering the house and getting a good "talking to" (what a lame phrase!) from my most certainly wonderful mom, and even a dirty (and perhaps quasi-symphathetic?) look from Grandpa, I went into my room—Yami's room—our room and I collapsed on the bed. I didn't care if Yami had called dibs on the bed; he could get the futon. I don't like him, anyway! And why should I care that some smelly Pharaoh had to sleep on a smelly futon? It seems perfect to me. (Plus, the futon is really uncomfortable! It's better for your back, but mattresses are just soooooo comfy… (insert heart-shape here, heheheh)). _

_When I woke up, it was the strangest thing. I had hidden that really old book, the one I found in the basement, in the nightstand drawer. But when I woke up, it was on top of the nightstand, and there, on top of it, was my dueling deck! _

_I hid my deck in my pocket—okay, so maybe that's not actually hiding, but I don't want Yami to know it's here. He'd think that he, god-king that he is (was!), remembered to bring it. Well he didn't, so he can't think that._

_I can't believe that Kaiba is so special to Yami. It was a horrible shock when I learned about their relationship from Joey, who had seen it on TV. Tea was giving me these really sympathetic looks. (Looking back on it now, I should've laughed at Tea; she went out with a gay guy! Ha ha ha!) _

_I can't believe Yami would keep that kind of secret from me. I never kept secrets from him. The worst part is, I get the feeling that all those times he said that he was going out "to think about stuff", he really went to see Kaiba. Knowing he lied to me hurts worst of all._

_But now I know that I can't rely on Yami, or anyone. If I can't trust the one person that knows my heart and soul inside and out (or at least I thought he did), who can I trust? The only people I have confidence now are my family._

_I took the book from the basement into the kitchen. I don't want Yami to know about that, either, or my strange dream, or anything anymore. If he's going to keep secrets, than why shouldn't I? _

_Yami used to care about what I did. I mean, he is my other half, but ever since his relationship with Kaiba became public, thanks to Mokuba's irreverent discourteousness, he has completely stopped caring about me. Like the time just this week, when I fell and hurt my leg on those god-forsaken stairs, and screamed, and they were making out and so apparently couldn't be bothered to check on me. I mean, Kaiba, even though he cares about Yami very deeply (it's obvious and it's sweet), always has a constant eye on his little brother. But nobody's eyes are on me. I mean… Hey, I keep writing that a lot, don't I? I mean…Er._

_Anyway, I'm getting off topic… and my eyes are getting red from forcing back wetness… just wetness, not tears. Joey told me that men don't cry unless it's for a good cause. Joey also told me that self-pity is never a good enough cause to cry. I admire Joey so much for that._

_So I sat at the table and ate a blueberry pop-tart. (Just one, though; Shadi was in the room and I'm still mad at him for calling me fat. I mean, that's just ridiculous. I must be half his weight. He's the fat one.)_

_I couldn't have eaten the other pop-tart anyway, though, because Malik and Ryou came in and Malik seized it like a pig. The two of them were laughing over something silly Tea believed. Ryou said hi to me and we talked for awhile while Malik brutally interrogated Shadi about… plastic spoons. U.U Now, why do I get the feeling Malik doesn't like Shadi very much? Hmmmmm…_

_Ryou asked if he could take a look at my book. I showed it to him. He said that the words in it are written in Arabic._

_If it's in Arabic, how am I supposed to read it? I'm so foolish for dragging that book upstairs… why did I do that, anyway? Ryou asked if he could read bits of it (apparently his father taught him Arabic), but for some reason I wouldn't let him. I feel like I should keep it near me…_

_-Yugi_

_Dear "Fred,"_

_Yugi said that I couldn't look at you, and then he stupidly leaves you on the table. Foolish mortal! Bwahahahahhaha (coff, coff). (I don't know how Bakura can launch into evil laughter for five minutes or so, that's just insane! …But so is he. :) _

_Anyway, so yes, foolish starheaded boy:P I'm just kidding. Yugi's cool. It's a shame what Yami's done to him. Even my other half keeps careful, careful tabs on me. He probably even knows why Malik and me were laughing at Tea this morning._

_I can't believe Yugi damaged you by writing on your inside back cover! Then again, I'm doing that right now, so, whatever._

_This morning when I woke up, Malik was STILL playing that horrid Turbograf-x 16. I really can't get into a system that old, but, poor Malik, it's all he has. (Fake sigh goes here.) I read Negima 3 and 4 last night. Asuna-chan's cute. -_

_Anyway, I still can't get over the feeling that I sensed my other half nearby yesterday. I'll have to ask Yami if he noticed anything different. Although, by the way Yugi writes it, Yami may not even care…_

_I think all of this stress is getting to Ishizu. I've asked Malik to help his sister more, but he just seethed at me. Apparently now it's Ishizu's fault that he can't play video games, instead of mine, because Malik can't stay mad at me apparently! - (That actually explains why we've been friends so long. o.o;)_

_So, I asked Ishizu if I could help her with lunch this afternoon, and Malik threw a fit (and a spork!) at me. (I want to know why he keeps plastic sporks up his sleeves, collar, pants, and pockets! That's just kind of creepy. It reminds me of "the Spork Ninja" that somebody in my class made up in my class. She based it off of one of her friends. Apparently to her, sporks are just one big joke, and should be revered, like cheese, salsa (food and/or the dance), pocky, and the names Bob, Dave, Stan, and George. (I had a friend named George once. Well, okay, he was a friend of a friend that I didn't particularly like much… what's the word for those? A garrish? Doesn't matter anyway, but he was a real jerk. He spilled chocolate milk all over this girl I happened to like at the time… And then she went out with him! o.o; Whhhhhhyyyyyy? _

_But still, the name itself… now that's special, right?)_

_What's so special about the name Bob, anyway? I had a friend named Bob once as well. Then Bakura turned him into a doll… _

_Malik wants to know what I'm writing in. Well, I won't tell him. :P Mwa ha ha ha ha. Many people can't tell this about me, but I really have fun pushing my friend's buttons. For example, whenever Serenity is in town visiting Joey, I am always the one to inform Duke of it. It's fun to count the ways that Joey's eyes can twitch… ha ha ha._

_…Ok, those puppy eyes were just TOO cute. I told him. (Mem., must tell Yugi and Mokuba that they have competition in the puppy eyes department!) Malik looked over this book, and, Mr. Fred, it would appear that you are a book of magic spells. Malik wanted to try you out, but I snapped you shut… on his hand. He whined, so I stuck my tongue out, laughed at him, and then fled like a bat out of that particularly nasty place underground that has fire, pits, Carrot Top and whips! Just like I was taught to! Bakura would be so proud of me right now._

_So now I am in Malik's room, sitting on his (WATER!) bed, eating his half-stale popcorn, and writing with his (FLUFFY AND FEATHERY AND PINK!) pen into this most interesting of books. I wish I had learned a little more Arabic when my dad was trying to explain the very basics of the language to me, but, hey, I was too busy studying my Japanese exhaustively. And it's paid off, hasn't it? I'm in Japan! WOO! Me. The British guy. In Japan. - Excuse me while I cry in awe of myself. I am so cool. _

_Speaking of studying, Malik needs to study his Japanese more. He keeps forgetting the names of things. Just today, he was like, "Ryou, that books looks… white," instead of "interesting". He left the omo- off of omoshiroi. How… interesting!_

_Hm, here Malik comes now. He looks mad at me. _

_……I think he's yelling at me about something._

_……Something about cleaning up after break…fast? _

_Oops. -;;_

_So I, in retaliation, get under Malik's skin. Now, the best way to do this is to claim one of the following:_

_A, Shadi is the greatest being ever to grace this planet. (I don't use this one very often, ha ha.)_

_B, Ishizu is the hottest woman alive. (This one is fun to use! The blood vessels underneath his eyes actually puff up in anger!)_

_Or C, call him fat. Apparently he doesn't like this, and from reading Yugi's entry, neither does Yugi. Hm. _

_:D Yeah, right. If Yugi's fat, then my name's Ryou. Oh, wait… Just kidding!_

_There's also D, which is to challenge him to checkers or chess, beat the pants off of him, and watch him throw a fit. He's a very sore loser…_

_-Ryou _

_(Oh, and I used method B. Considering what I told Malik yesterday,(said to Malik, did to Malik, there's no difference, is there? It's not like we did that) this made him even MORE upset, which was lots of fun to watch. :) Who says I'm innocent? Ticking people off is fun!)_

"YOU IDIOT!" Malik grabbed the book out of Ryou's hand and threw it in the garbage. "You told me that _I _was hot!"

"Well, you're related to your sister, and you're both hot!" Ryou stuck his tongue out teasingly. "It's in the genes!"

"But my pants don't have pockets!"

"I meant genetic genes, not jean jeans!" Ryou exclaimed, laughing. "Are you so much of a gimpette that you can't even remember your homophones?"

"My what?" Malik asked, the muscles on his face tightening as his mouth puckered, giving his visage a sour look about it. "And did you just call me a _girl?"_

"Maybe? Or maybe not," Ryou teased, "but lets bring into consideration the fact that you wore a tank top out in public last Tuesday…" Ryou let his voice trail off. Malik had brought a tacit, sour humidity into the air, an air of anger that the ceiling fan distributed evenly across the room. Ryou was used to people being mad at him, however, and so ignored this and leaned onto Malik's pile o' pillows (Ryou called it The Castle) that were at the head of the Egyptian teen's bed. Settling himself, he enjoyed the show: Malik twitched at him. The blood vessels underneath his eyes were puffy.


	27. So she IS a scamp!

Hakudoshi-chan- You were the first to review. Kudos to you! Um, yes, Yugi does need more pop-tarts. So do I. (whimpers) I wish I had some now!

Akio the Dragon Master- You really like the word 'twas, eh? You know, Jaken uses the word 'twas. O.o 'Tis true! Oh, by the way… **You were the 100th reviewer:) And for that, I owe you a cookie. Don't let me forget!**

Tea rang the doorbell a little later that day. "Are you ready to go shopping, you two?" Tea smiled at Malik and Ryou. "You two _did _remember, right? And please tell me you don't have hangovers?"

"Of _course _I remember, Tea," Malik lied. He didn't even have his hair brushed.

"Do we have hangovers from what?" Ryou asked vacuously. Ryou _always _had his hair brushed.

Tea giggled a bit. _How cute! He doesn't remember being drunk!_

"Ok!" Tea beamed, grabbing Malik's arm. "Let's go!"

"Hold on," Ryou said. He quickly tread into the living room. "Um, Yugi," Ryou said shyly, "do you want to come with us? I mean, if you're not busy…"

"Does it look like I'm busy?" Yugi asked curiously.

"Um, no…" Ryou eyed the profusion of textbooks spread all over the table. _Oh crud, we had assigned summer reading, _Ryou realized with a start. _Well, in that case, I better bring some extra money so I can buy the books. We still have a month left of summer…_

"Oh." Yugi smiled amicably at his friend. "Well, in that case, I'd be happy to join you. Maybe Mokuba would like to come too."

"Maybe he would. Can you ask him? I'll go tell Tea and Malik that you're coming."

"Ok."

Yugi jogged down the hallway. "YO MOKUBA!" he yelled, throwing Mokuba a gang sign with his hand.

"Huh?" Mokuba had just gotten up an hour ago, and was still a bit groggy. His hair was disheveled, his breath was still gross, and his eyes were half-lidded and sleepy.

Right now the dark-haired vice-president of Kaiba Corporation, the boy that made more money in one year than Yugi might make in his entire life, was putting toothpaste on his hairbrush and trying to iron his clothes with his toothbrush. Yugi raised an eyebrow.

"Hurry up; we're going shopping!"

Mokuba's eyes lit up. "Really?" he exclaimed.

Mokuba Kaiba _loved _shopping. It may have seemed girly, but when somebody had as much money to blow on useless stuff as he did, shopping was an adventure, just like exploring a vast jungle made of toasters or wrestling Britney Spears!

Yugi sweat dropped. "Er, yeah," he said.

_Just how girly is this kid?_

A little bit later, after Yugi had practically dressed Mokuba for him and sloshed a couple of Sprites down his throat, Mokuba and Yugi scrambled outside and into Tea's LeSabre.

"Nice car, Tea," Yugi commented.

"Thanks," she replied. "How come you don't drive, Yugi?"

"My family doesn't believe in cars. We just walk everywhere," Yugi explained.

"You guys _walked _to Malik's house? With your stuff?" Ryou exclaimed.

"Huh? Oh, no. We got Joey to drive us then." Yugi smiled fondly in remembrance. "He crashed into a streetlamp. We nearly died."

Yugi let out a wistful, happy sort of sigh that made everybody else in the car sweat drop and fear for their sanity.

"Ooook then," Tea said, sounding just a little too much like Kagome from Inuyasha. "Well, anyway… So, Malik, what did you and Ryou do with the gift I gave you the other night?"

"What gift?" Mokuba murmured.

"Probably condoms," Yugi japed back in a whisper. Mokuba sniggered.

"I heard that," Tea clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth to show her disapproval, "and actually, it was a bra."

"…Uhm, whhhhhhhhyy?" asked Yugi.

Tea smiled. "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."

Criss-crossed veins stuck out of Yugi's forehead. "Well why didn't you tell me you were giving them away?" the petite-sized duelist demanded.

The following scene was quite funny as Tea attempted to strangle Yugi and drive at the same time.

The five friends weren't in the mall for very long before they were recognized. Malik and Ryou, having been in the Battle City finals, were recognized sometimes, and sometimes they were even asked to sign autographs. When this happened, Ryou felt cool, and actually grateful for his yami.

However, when Mokuba and Yugi stepped into the mall, reporters swamped them immediately, almost as if somebody had called them in advance. Mokuba hid himself, but poor Yugi was stuck.

"Yugi! How do you feel about your cousin dating Seto Kaiba?"

"Yugi! Have you been entered in any new tournaments?"

"Yugi! Is it true that you're dating," the reporter fumbled with his things and then pointed to Tea, "her? Or are you gay, like your cousin?"

"Are you a homosexual?"

"If not, can I go out with you tonight?"

Tea blushed. Yugi just stared at them.

"Go away," he said. And just like that, he turned and walked away. Then actually, he turned back and winked at the last reporter, who fainted. And _then _he walked away. Tea hmphed.

"Geez Tea, are you jealous much?" Ryou asked, elbowing her as if she was "one of the guys". Unfortunately for him, Tea did not appreciate being "one of the guys". She kicked Ryou in the crotch. "OWWWWWWWW!" Ryou fell to his knees and cried.

The reporters grumbled about Yugi walking away until they found Mokuba, cowering behind Ryou. "Oh! Kaiba Mokuba!" They ran over to him.

Mokuba scampered after Yugi. So did the female reporter.

Later, the group had somewhat rejoined, save for Yugi, who was off somewhere flirting with that reporter. ;) The others were in the arcade. Tea was moping, Malik was trying to cheer her up, and Ryou was pretending he didn't care, even though he wanted to slaughter both of them right then.

**_Do it…_**

Ryou blinked. "Oro? Where did that thought come from?"

"Been reading to much porn, huh Ryou?" Mokuba asked as he stepped off of the Dance Machine Platform. Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Does Kaiba know you talk like that? Because last time I checked, you were only… what, twelve?"

"Does it matter? Why should I let a fag like him regulate my life? He doesn't deserve it." Mokuba said boldly, although the end of his sentences' intonation bordered on sobs. "Want to play that fighting game with me?" Mokuba pointed.

Ryou nodded amicably. "Sure," he said. He tossed a glance over his shoulder. Malik and Tea were gone.

_Probably making out somewhere, _Ryou thought glumly, and his shoulders slumped. "Let's go, Mokuba," he said, and he shuffled his feet over towards the machine.

It turns out that the girl wasn't actually a reporter. She had just been standing near the reporters, wondering if she could get a date with _the _Yugi Motou. And what luck! Yugi was as sweet and as charming and as handsome as everybody said he was.

"So, you're Umito-kun's sister?" Yugi asked, stirring cream into his frappacino. The girl nodded shyly. She had long hair that had obviously been dyed blonde, although it didn't look tacky because of it; rosy cheeks; and gentle, sparkling blue eyes. Yugi thought she was very pretty.

"Umito-kun doesn't like people calling him by his last name… and as a result of that, I don't even know it," Yugi said, sweat dropping. "Um… what is…?"

"Kawasaki Umiko," she said shyly. She blushed and looked beautiful.

Yugi smiled radiantly. The girl practically melted. "It is very nice to meet you, Kawasaki-san."

_Today's the day! _Malik cheered himself on. He pushed Tea away from him. "Hey, Tea?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Tea said, looking irritated.

"I need to speak to you after you drop the rest of us off… just for a few minutes. It won't take long, I promise."

Tea's heart skipped a beat. "O…Ok…"

Tea had absolutely no idea what Malik had in store for her. If she had, she might not have driven them home at all.

"You… You beat me!" Mokuba exclaimed, shocked. Ryou looked amazed.

"Hot dog," he said. "And I thought I stinked at these games!"

"It's 'stunk', Ryou."

"Don't tell me what kind of animal it is!" Ryou stuck his tongue out at Mokuba. Mokuba just stared at him.

_I never thought Ryou was actually any good at games, _Mokuba admitted to himself. _I thought he was just kind of there… who knew? Hmm…_

"Ryou, come with me to the CD Store!" Mokuba exclaimed. "I'll tell you about my bet with my friend!"

Ryou shrugged. "Ok!"

Tea noticed Yugi sitting in a Starbucks with that girl… and for some reason, this made her insanely jealous.

_No, no, Tea, you love Yami, remember? _an inner side of her reminded her.

_Er, don't you mean Malik? _the other side asked.

And a third side pointed out, _What about that guy in Chem. class? He's cute!_

Tea sweat dropped. "My shoulder pixies are idiots," she said in a deadpan voice. "I am absolutely sure that I don't love Yugi."

"You love Yugi?" Malik asked. Tea sweat dropped.

"Was I talking out loud?"

"Yes, yes you were." Malik handed tea a soda. "Here. It's _Diet, _miss porky," he teased. Tea kicked him in the nuts as well.

"That's--!" he gasped. "That's why I made it uncaffeinated."

"So," Mokuba explained, "Hikaru-kun bet that I could go for a month listening to offensive music without Seto noticing."

"Is _that _what you've been listening to?" Ryou raised an eyebrow, amused.

"Yes."

"Innnnnteresting." Ryou felt the urge to laugh loudly.

"So I'm here to buy more rap CDs." Mokuba sighed. "I thought he would've caught on sooner. I mean, I sang along with Jin in the car. I've been mouthing the words to 50 Cent songs for the past three days, and my alarm clock plays a song by Obie Trice! It has the f-word, like, forty billion times! And he hasn't noticed!"

"Surely he will."

Mokuba looked at the ground sadly. "I hope so."

"Did you want to go out this Saturday?" Yugi asked. Kawasaki brightened.

"Sure! Where do you want to go?" she asked, getting excited.

"Hm… Where do _you _want to go?" Yugi asked. Kawasaki looked happy.

"To the movies," she suggested. Yugi smiled at her.

"Okay," he assented, blushing, and feeling very Panglossian and optimistic.

"Yuuuuugi!"

Yugi turned around. "Hi, Tea." He nodded towards Kawasaki. "This is Umito-kun's sister!"

"Oh! Nice to meet you!" Tea bowed quickly. "Are you Umito-san's older or younger sister?" Tea asked.

"I'm older by one year," she replied. Tea stared at her. "…Uhm, please don't do that."

"Do what? …Oh, sorry." Tea turned her head. "Anyway, come on Yugi, we're leaving soon."

"But we just got here!"

"But Malik just got attacked by fan girls," Tea said, grabbing Yugi's arm and starting to drag him out of the Starbucks. Yugi slapped her arm and jogged back over to Kawasaki, who had written down her number on a napkin. She handed it to Yugi. He bowed deeply, causing Kawasaki to redden pleasantly.

"Thank ya, milady," he said, before turning around and racing after Tea. Boy, was he going to yell at her…

"Are you allowed to buy these CDs, little boy?" The girl smiled down at Mokuba.

Mokuba rolled his eyes. "I'm Mokuba Kaiba," he said.

The girl nodded, recognition flickering in her eyes. "Oh! Right. That's right. Here you go."

She handed him the CDs, he handed her the money, told her to keep the change, and then strolled out of the store, carting two new weapons in the battle for Seto's attention.

"Oi! Mokuba!" Tea waved him over. "Come on, we're going!"

Mokuba sweat dropped as he witnessed the scene. Tea was beating back Malik fan girls with a large stick. Ryou let out a blustery sigh.

The two made their way over quickly. Yugi was hiding behind Malik, looking out from behind him every so often so make sure that the media wasn't right **_there! _**

The five of them skedaddled to the LeSabre and skidded out of the parking lot.

"Whoo!" Malik laughed crazily, like a person who had just escaped death and had found its chase exhilarating beyond all belief. "Who would've known I had so many fans? …Eh, Ryou? What's wrong?"

Malik turned around in his seat. Ryou, who was sitting behind Tea with his arms crossed, gave him quite a sour look, with his lips puckered as if he was eating a warhead, and his hair slightly ruffled by the wind.

"Ha ha, you look hot, Ryou," he joked. Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Ewwwww!" Yugi and Mokuba said in chorus. Tea rolled her eyes.

"Mokuba, Yugi; you two are so immature."

"Well, _I'm _not the one who goes around giving _bras—"_

"Hush it Yugi!"


	28. What shoud I call this?

dragonlady222- Huzzah! Thanks for reviewing so quickly. Yes, Mokuba is very jealous, but what jealous person doesn't tend to place blame away from himself?

Akio the Dragon Master- Then I'm doing my job. :)

Hakudoshi-chan- Or maybe he's just one $&!ed up little kid. …Ok, so that wasn't called for. But still! It explains a lot!

Misura- Yeah, Malik's plan are so dumb, ne? I blame the lack of meat in his diet. It makes him stupid. (No offense to any vegetarians.) And Shadi's not going to feel well for awhile. And Tea would probably be more disgusted with Yugi and Mokuba because Yugi's "younger" (i.e, shorter) and Mokuba's like, twelve.

Inu Kaiba- The vocab words are everywhere… . 

Someone- Thanks for pointing that out. (sweat drop) I am _such _a dumbass, you are correct. I'll try to be more careful.

I updated chapters 10 and 12 and 13. Not sure if anyone cares, but, yeah…

"Where's Yugi?" Yami asked later that day. Odion paused his video game, suspending Zelda in mid-strike. Odion smiled at the doomed enemy onscreen, almost in sympathy, before turning to Yami.

"I believe that Yugi went out with Malik and Mokuba to the mall," he replied, getting up and stretching his arms. "They left about an hour ago. Malik said they aren't going to be gone long."

Odion smiled, thinking that Malik was out trying to initiate more people into his anti-Shadi club. He had almost initiated all of their immediate neighbors… (Nobody liked a shady-looking and reticent figure living next door.)

"Yugi left?" Yami gasped sharply, as if Yugi's leaving had been akin to sacrilege and his counterpart had taken a piece of his heart with him. "He didn't tell me."

"Well, he and Mokuba left rather unexpectedly… and you really can't expect him to tell you _everything… _I mean, even Master _Malik _has a life."

"But I'm a part of that life."

"But only a part," Odion reminded him. With no further information to relay, the well-built Egyptian lumbered into the kitchen to grab some Clementine oranges.

"But… but…" Yami sputtered. "Yugi left!"

Just then, the door swung open, narrowly avoiding clipping Yami on the head.

"Wilma, I'm home!" Yugi giggled. The world champion duelist hopped through the front door. "Oh! Hi Yami!"

"Hi Yugi," Yami said sadly.

"Is something wrong?" Yugi was smiling so cheerfully that Yami couldn't bear to tell him that yes, there was something wrong. Instead he shook his head and mouthed the word 'no'. Brilliant, Yami. Way to lay the smack down on Yug'.

"Oh. Ok!" Yugi flounced away. Yami stared after him in astonishment.

"Did you just _flounce!"_

Insert Satanic Giggle Here. "_Maaaaaybe…_"

"You had sugar!"

Yugi just giggled again in response.

Suddenly, Odion came out and crashed into the crazy boy, sending them both toppling onto the floor, covered with chocolate milk.

Meanwhile, Yami was almost bowled over like a bowling pin when Mokuba bulleted into the house.

"My hair!" Yugi wailed.

"BATHROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Mokuba shot down the hall.

Yami's eyes swirled. "What in the hey?"

"I lowered my cholesterol," Odion told anybody who would listen.

A few minutes later Mokuba bulleted back out of the bathroom, his hands still foaming with soap. "THE HILLS ARE ALIVE!" he screamed. The dark-haired boy dove on to the couch and trembled.

"o O Ohhkay then," Yami said.

Bakura propped his feet up on an expensive-looking chair, sipping some grape-flavored fruit juice he had stolen from a plot hole. He was still inside Shadi's soul room, only now it looked like Martha Stewart's jail cell.

He now had sufficient blackmail on the Egyptian; he knew Shadi's age and how old he had been when he went bald; he knew that he had once tried to set Odion on fire with his mind; and he knew (much to his displeasure) EXACTLY what outfit Shadi thought Ishizu would look best in. And it wasn't much of an outfit. More like rags, if that. Turns out mysterious people are perverts too.

He was finally finished arranging Shadi's soul room the way he wanted it. He would put it back the way it was originally, but only if Yugi defeated him in a duel… which wasn't going to happen anytime soon.

Hm… Yugi was bathing now. He could probably go scare the bajeesus out of him right now, and maybe peek into his soul room to see if he could figure out where the boy was hiding his other two Millennium Items. Plus, it would just be _so _funny to see his face…

"He he he."

But first, he wanted to see what Malik was going to do. And soon, he was going to explore the deeper parts of Shadi's mind for himself.

"You need some help?" Ryou whispered. Malik shook his head. "Alright then. See ya inside."

Ryou left Malik and made his way up the stone steps towards his best friend-cum-boyfriend's front door. This left Malik alone in the car with… Tea! And, if you will refer back to Chapter, uh, 24 I believe, you'll know that Malik wants to break up with Tea. So here we go! Let's see you work your magic, Malik!

_Aw, crudmonkeys. _"Tea, I…" _just forgot what I planned to say. No… not a… brain fart! NOOOOO! _

"Eh… forget it. Want to come inside and consume mass quantities?"

"You've watched Coneheads?" Tea asked. "That's geeky."

"…Ryou made me watch it."

"OH SURE!" Ryou shouted form the porch. "BLAME IT ON THE BEST FRIEND!" (A/N: Yeah, but it WAS your idea, Ryou!)

Malik turned to see Ryou standing on the porch, shielding his eyes with his hands and regarding the two of them intensely. "Hush up, Ryou!" Malik laughed as he and Tea got out of the car. He was glad, though, that Ryou hadn't just gone inside in case he _had _went with his plan, and things had gone wrong, and Tea had attacked him with her purse-fu.

Malik knew he couldn't dump Tea until he thought of a unique way to do it. His conscience wouldn't let him, and neither would his sense of mischief. Maybe Ryou could help! And plus, the more people around when they played their trick on Shadi, the better! Mwe he he.

The three entered the house to see Seto glaring at his younger brother. "Mokuba!" Seto shouted. "Why did you go to the mall!"

"Hm?" Mokuba turned around. He had been heading to Malik's room to play with his Turbograf-x 16. "What's that, nii-sama?"

"You went to the mall! And you didn't tell me!" Seto seethed. "You know that you are supposed to let me know wherever you are…" Seto crossed his arms in a manner that made him look quasi-effeminate, and glared at Mokuba with eyes that could outdo a hawk and Professor Snape put together. A/N: Oooh. Diss. How, just who got dissed, I'm not sure…

"What's your problem?" Mokuba laughed. "I was with four other people, Seto!" A/N: Oh! Dissed the hawk! That's right.

"But only I can protect you."

Mokuba laughed again, "That's not true!"

Seto glared at him. **_"Mokuba Kaiba, stop laughing right now!"_**

But once again, Mokuba blew him off. "Pssh! You're so angry all the time!" Mokuba huffed. "I just don't see the point!"

"Even when I see your photos," Ryou sang softly.

"…you always have a scowl!" finished Malik.

Seto raised his eyebrow. "Uhm, what?"

Tea looked at the boys with an equally blank expression of her face that Seto didn't like. If he was going to be stupid, he didn't want to know that there was somebody equally as stupid out there. If he was dumb, he was going to be the _best _at being dumb, darn it!

Seto dragged Mokuba off to lecture him some more, while the three residual teens made their way to the kitchen.

Ryou shouted heroically, "Soggy bread!"

"Eh?"

Malik smiled as he watched Ryou pounce on and devour the banana bread. "Do you want some, Tea?" he asked (shudder) POLITELY. He could afford to be (shudder) POLITE, after all he was just biding his time until he thought up a creative way to break up with her.

Tea cringed. "Not since Ryou spit all over it, no." She wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Mmp mmf mm-mf mmip ml mvr mifft!" Ryou protested. Translation, _But I haven't spit all over it!_

"-.- Oh yes you have," said Tea.

"Mm-mm!" Translation, _Nuh-uh!_

"Uh-huh!"

Just when Ryou was about to point out that there was an entire second loaf, a girl with red hair ran in and snatched it before running off screaming about her Fist of Doom and how she wasn't a Little Mermaid just because she had red hair and the same name as a mermaid. Well, not really, although that would've been wicked sweet. What really happen is that Shadi came into the room.

The three of them gasped. Ryou whimpered and hugged his banana bread.

Shadi was wearing pink.

Yami followed Yugi down the hallway. The poor Pharaoh was so distrait that he nearly followed his aibou right into the shower.

Yugi turned beet red. "Yami!" he protested.

"Huh? What?" Yami blushed. "OH SORRY!" He scrambled out the bathroom door, followed by his aibou's angry screams.

Yugi mushroom-sighed. "At least I still had my towel on… wonder what he wanted to say to me so badly. He looked upset."

_And since when does he care when _I'm _upset! So why should I care when _he's _upset! _

_…Because I'm a good person. Sigh._

The petite-framed boy turned on the hot water on started to rummage through the cabinets under the sink for a shampoo bottle. After finding one that was half-full, Yugi stepped into the shower and let his towel drop while the author stopped describing him. Seconds later he started whistling to _Dido. _

Suddenly, he stopped as he sensed a presence in the bathroom.

Yugi growled just as fiercely as he blushed.

"I know, I know; if there wasn't a curtain you'd be kicking me right now," Yami said.

Yugi pulled the handle for the water so hard that it nearly broke off in his hands.He yelled, "_Yami, stop reading my mind! _And get out. I never want you to read my mind again, whether I'm in the shower, eating pickles, eating pickles in the shower, killing cute and fuzzy kittens, or otherwise, because it's _my head, and I don't want you in it!_"

Yami took a shaky breath. "Um… ok… But I have to use the restroom."

"Uhm, Yami, there _is _another bathroom you know," Yugi scowled.

"They're all taken," Yami countered.

"All five of them!"

"There's five?" Yami said in amazement. Yugi sweat dropped, murmuring an offensive comment.

"Why do you hate me aibou?"

"_I _hate _you? You're _the one that keeps bugging me while I'm in the shower! Now get out."

On the other side of the curtain, Yami shrugged. "Ok."

Yugi realized his mistake a second too late. "Yami, don't—"

_FLUUUUSSSSH._

"Gyeeahh!" Yugi screamed, shivering like a mad horse about to poop while being really, really cold. (;P) "Yami, you jerk!"

"What?" Yami asked innocently. Yugi saw red for a second. He wasn't used to being badgered like this… well, okay, he was, but not in the shower for Pete's sake!

"You know perfectly well that makes the shower cold," Yugi said as calmly as he can.

"Fun," Yami said deviously.

Yugi ground his teeth together. "Yami, get the heck out of the bathroom, NOW!"

"But I just wanted to borrow-"

"NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!" Yugi screamed continuously, making his voice screechy and obnoxious. He only ceased when he heard the click of the door closing.

Yugi quickly washed himself and got out of the shower, only partially aware of the mixture of sad tears, infuriated tears, and sparkly water droplets that inundated his damp cheeks.

"Stupid, immature, jackass," Yugi seethed. "Why the heck can't he ever leave me alone when I _want _to be left alone! Why is he only there when I don't need him!"

Yugi dressed himself quickly, feeling chills run down his spine. He suddenly remembered: _The Book. It's in Ryou's room. I should go and get it._

…_When did I leave it in Ryou's room?_

_…_Did _I leave it in Ryou's room?_

_If I didn't, then how do I know it's in there? And why do I need it? Ugh… I've got a headache. I feel as if it will only go away when I have the book in my hands._

Yugi stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. His face looked suddenly haggard, as if he had been running a list of never-ending errands.

Yami clapped his hand on Yugi's shoulder. "You look bedraggled, aibou," he teased in a voice that set Yugi's teeth on edge.

"Get off of me!"

Yugi shoved the Pharaoh's arms away from him. "I'd rather be hugged by Marik then even be TOUCHED by you!"

The petite duelist raced out of the room, running fast so that the tears that threatened to simmer were forced back behind his eyeballs.

Bakura scowled. Who knew Yugi could shower so fast? There had been no time for mind tricks… He could've had SO much fun messing with Yugi's head.

The tomb thief smiled. It didn't matter. He had plenty of other tricks up his sleeve… sadistic legerdemain.

And, besides. Who wants to see a midget naked? Not Bakura, that's for sure.


	29. Too busy to do chapter titles due to Leo...

_I might have remembered to update this sooner if I didn't purchase Resident Evil 4 yesterday! I've already played it for over 4 hours, and I just passed the torch on to my little sister, who keeps asking me to disable the villagers for her while I tell her to do it herself. I am so happy I could burst, man. (explodes) Oops._

Akio the Dragon Master- Eh, Yugi already has too much harassment while in the shower. I mean, can't he bathe without being bothered? … (evil grin) No way!

dragonlady222- Well, Yugi is a) not gay and b) not fond of people in his shower… while he's using it. What? You'd scream too.

Hakudoshi-chan- Thank you. That review made my day. :) It was just what I was going for.

The door creaked open more slowly than one of those Resident Evil door-opening sequences. The noise was enough to make the hair stand up on the back of one's neck and the teeth in one's mouth chatter nervously.

Yugi skulked out of Ryou's room, his book—was it his book? In any case, _the _book—under one arm. Suddenly, a tall person was in his way.

"Wend, tall person! Get out of my way!" Yugi commanded with a grand swoop of his arm. Seto just rolled his eyes.

"What's that book?" Seto asked, trying to lean over and get a good look at the cover. Yugi held it up to him.

"Malik says it's a book about necromancy and necrophilia," Yugi explained. "Not the type of necrophilia where you… yeah, but just a general fascination with dead things."

Seto grimaced. "Oh."

"Seto, stop ignoring me!" Mokuba shouted. Seto's right eye twitched convulsively.

"Fine, _Mokuba. _Come along, _Mokuba. _I've got a two-by-four with an imprint of your head on it, _Mokuba." _Seto dragged him off.

Yugi headed down the hallway, whistling to _Fukai Mori _nervously.

Malik's jaw hit the ground; in fact it passed through the floor and down a good ten feet into the Earth. His brother-in-law, Shadi, was wearing a coarse apron, creamy white, with bright pink stitching. The tall, lithe Egyptian's nebulous and creepy eyes had suddenly become happy and bright, and he was proffering to Ryou a pan full of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies that looked warm, mushy, and succulently delicious. .

"Ooh! Cookies!" Tea squealed stridently and, unfortunately, right into Malik's ear. As he clapped his hands over them she snatched two of the cookies inconsiderately and scarfed them down immediately, despite that fact that Shadi had been offering the baked goodies to Ryou and not to her. "Mmm! They're delicious Shadi!"

"I know!" Shadi squealed. "Ryou! Want to try some of my baked goodies? And you too, Malik!"

Ryou fell to the tile and began to fish around for his eyeballs, which had popped out quite unexpectedly. He found them near Tea's feet, wiped them off on his pant leg, and set them back into his head.

"You just groped my foot!" Tea assibilated laughingly. But while Tea laughed over nothing, (quite possibly high off of Shadi's out-of-this-world "goodies",) Ryou's face became grim, his mouth a thin, hard-set line that wasn't really more than an ugly crease on his face. He looked directly at Shadi.

Malik was reeling in his jaw like a fishing pole.

Shadi turned to him and fluttered his long eyelashes at him. "Do you want a cookie!" he asked excitably.

Just as Malik heard his teeth clack together, this new phrase made his jaw fall all over again, quite possibly all the way to the center of the earth.

Shadi's smile was so big that it took over every other facial feature save for those sparkling blue eyes, so light-hearted and… shoujo… and… _twinkly. _They, like, really creeped Malik out! Like, totally!

Malik screamed and ran out of the kitchen, tugging on his hair. Ryou ran at his heels, paused, turned around, ran back, grabbed the cookies, and then ran after Malik again.

"Buh-bye now!" Shadi waved, waggling his lithe fingers excessively.

"Your cookies are fantastic!" Tea praised. Shadi smiled and they started exchanging recipes.

"Hello again, Tea," said a glum voice, "I thought you left."

The girly pair turned to see Yugi. His hair was still wet, and his eyes looked deeply concerned; his clothes were damp and clung to his skin; his shoulders were all bunched up around his neck, which was almost arched the way he was looking straight down at the floor.

Tea blinked. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Yugi shuffled slowly outside, leaving Tea and Shadi behind. Meanwhile, in the Egyptian's soul room, Bakura was getting busy putting Shadi's room back into its right order, to further confuse everybody in the house. Tea, when she saw that Shadi was kind of blanking out, ran after Yugi. "Hey Yugi! Wait up!"

"Huh?" Yugi turned around to face her. "What is it, Tea?"

Tea grinned at him, slapping her hand on his shoulder. "Whatever it is that's bugging you, just remember that I'm your friend, and I'll be sure to help you out!"

Yugi smiled grimly. "Thanks Tea. That's good to know, but…"

"But?" Tea asked, surprised.

"But I'm not even sure that I'm worried about anything…" Yugi shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. A light drizzle of water droplets flew from his hair. Tea leapt away, screeching exaggeratedly. Yugi rolled his eyes.

"I'm a dog," he said. "Woof, woof."

"Aww, puppy!" Tea squealed, jumping up and hugging Yugi, but stopping when noticed Yugi starting to blush. "So, um… what's up? Where are you going? And what did you mean by you're not sure whether you're actually on to anything or not? Tell me." Tea tugged on Yugi's sleeve, noticing how it slid across his lubricious skin. "I'm your best friend. Tell me."

"Well, I… really, there's not much to tell. You see, I kind of had a dream…"

"Were you wearing the Millennium Necklace?"

"Um… not that I recall…" Yugi paused before continuing:

"I had a dream where Bakura was going to challenge me to a duel, only I woke up before he got a chance. In my dream, I told him that my deck was at home because Yami had left it there carelessly. In real life, that's what happened too. But this morning when I woke up, my deck was on top of this really mystic-looking book that I found in the Ishtar's basement. Malik says it's a book of spells, but it's all in Arabic so I can't read it. But I still feel this need to stay close to it… It's hard to explain, but now, if I don't have this book with me, I have a headache." Yugi hugged the book close to his chest; Tea hadn't noticed that Yugi had been carrying it in one hand before.

"Can I see it…?" she asked. Yugi handed her the book. She opened it up. "…Wow," she said bluntly, "I can't read any of this."

"Uhm, I said it was in Arabic," Yugi pointed out.

"Oh. Right." Tea and Yugi both sweat dropped.

"So, um… what does this book have to do with anything?" Tea asked him.

"I don't know," Yugi explained, and Tea could see that he was upset. "I just don't have any clue. But, it's like I can somehow sense that something is about to happen… it happened before Battle City, too…"

"ESP?"

Yugi blushed. "Well, actually, before Battle City, that was probably just a combination of Yami's whole 'who-am-i?' kick and my paranoia. You know… 'Something's coming!' 'It's gonna be our greatest challenge yet!' 'I'll need you Yami!' I was probably just caught up in Yami's hype."

Upon saying those four wounding words, (which, if you can't figure out, you should be ridiculed,) Yugi's face drooped, and his chest heaved heavily. A great pain poked him in the middle of his chest, and he felt like he had placed a spell upon himself.

"ImaY ouy deen ll'I!" Yugi said. Tea blinked at him. "I'm trying to break the spell," he explained.

"Eh he he… You're paranoid?" Tea reached over towards him. "I've always wanted to poke somebody who was paranoid. Really, I wanted to poke an old man wearing a suit, but you will do. Poke."

Yugi did a backflip and landed with a large stick in his hands. "BACK, BROCCOLI DEMONS! MWA HA HA!" he shouted.

Tea sweat dropped. "Oookay then. You weren't kidding."

"Eh?" Yugi sweat dropped and dropped the stick. "About whut?"

"You're paranoid?" Tea muttered.

"NOOOOO! You really think so!" Yugi shouted, waving his arms around in a frenzy.

Tea sweat dropped again.

"Let's just go back inside…"

"But wait! I have something to show you."

"Huh?" Tea looked at Yugi strangely. "What is it?"

"You'll see, come on!" Yugi bulleted across the fields.

"Mokuba, you know how you're always getting kidnapped and stuff?" Seto asked sweetly.

"Yeeeeeeeees, big brother?" Mokuba replied in the same sweet manner.

"Do you want to know why that is?"

"Weeeeeellll, big brother, the first time, you left the company and me all alone, and the second time we were trapped in a virtual world that my kidnapper literally controlled with his brain?"

Seto sweat dropped. "Er, yes but… no. It's because you never tell me when you're leaving the house."

"This house?"

"Any house!"

"Any house."

"Yes, any house."

"…You're insane, Seto," Mokuba said. "Do you realize that I'm probably out of the house more than in it? I mean, sure, our house is wicked sweet, but who wants to play all alone in a big, huge manse like that? I'm usually outside with my friends… But you wouldn't know _anything _about that, because all you have is Yami, and you're anti-social! And so now you're mad because I'm out of your sight, when I can't even find you when I need you? Why is our friendship so one-sided? Something feels unrequited here, Seto, and I don't think it's my fault."

Seto gaped rather unattractively as Mokuba stormed away. The flies swarmed in. "Ew, gross!"

Ryou and Malik were in his room, staring at a TV that wasn't on.

"Shouldn't Tea have followed us?" Ryou complained. Malik shrugged. "So, how are you going to break up with her?"

"I don't know."

Ryou cocked his head towards Malik. "You do realize that you're cheating on her then, don't you?"

"I'm going to use that somehow to break up with her, and shock her."

"Leave me out of this."

"Sorry, no can do."

"Malik…"

"Nope!"

"Uhg…" Ryou collapsed onto Malik's bed. "Comfy pillows… Uh-oh! The Castle is crumbling! Noooooo!"

A dozen pillows fell onto Ryou's head. "Oof," said Ryou.

Malik laughed. "Ryou?" he said, poking at the batch of pillows as if they were cookies and he were checking to see if they had cooled yet. Ryou sat up, and by accident Malik poked him in the eye.

"OW!"

"Sorry, Ryou," Malik apologized as Ryou clasped his eye.

"You cabbage," Ryou muttered. "I'm going to check and see what Mokuba's up to, okay? You stay here and think of ways to break up with Tea."

"Okay."

As Malik watched Ryou leave the room, Ryou got a sudden chill and threw his hands on his shoulders to warm himself up. He could sense him…

"It's Bakura," Ryou said. Malik's eyes immediately narrowed with suspicion.

"What?"

"Nothing, Malik," Ryou said nervously, as he remembered now that Malik suspected Bakura of beating him. "Nothing at all. …Bye."

Kaiba was standing in the doorway that led to the kitchen. His eyes were trained on his little brother, who was sitting at the dining room table, working on some of his summer homework, and singing the words to a song out loud. Kaiba didn't recognize the song. The lyrics made his azure eyes narrow slightly.

"If I can't do well, homey, it can't be done," Mokuba sang.

Kaiba saw Ryou enter the room, hearing Mokuba sing. Ryou giggled rather effeminately at him. Of course, Mokuba didn't hear him. Ryou snapped his headphones. Mokuba glared at him, turning off the song and rubbing his stinging ears. "What do you want?" he demanded hatefully.

"To play a game with you," Ryou said, smiling shyly. "I was wondering if you wanted to play Yahtzee with me? I want to get you back for beating me in the arcade today."

"Hm?" Mokuba looked at Ryou, disinterested. "Why… should I?"

"Because if you don't, I'll tell everyone how you were so afraid you'd lose to me that you refused to play against me."

"What!" Mokuba stood up, outrage forcing heavy breath upon him. "You're on!"

Kaiba smiled. _Attawaytogo, Mokuba, _he thought. _Show them that you don't mess with the name Kaiba._

Mokuba followed Ryou into the living room, where Odion was watching a game of soccer.

"Uhm," Ryou said, staring at the TV screen. "Mokuba, let's watch this soccer game first."

"No way!" Mokuba declared, even though he was staring, entranced, at the screen.

Kaiba sweat dropped. "Oh brother," he groaned. Ishizu came in and glared at him.

"Hey! That's my line!"

_There! I have updated! Good. (ambles off to watch her sister play Resident Evil 4)_


	30. The Beginning of Something

_I just wanted everyone to know all about the updating since this story has gone up. Chapter 1 is on its second or third draft, I'm not sure which. Chapters 6, 7, 10, 12, 13, 14, and 15 are all second drafts. 16 is a third draft. This is as of May 30._

_There's nothing really important that would make it crucial to go back and reread; I have made sure in my editing not to do that. However, there is more dialogue and more description in some areas. I just wanted to point this out._

_Anyway, I have this story written all the way up to chapter 35! So go me! Woo! So if you review fast, I update fast. _

_-Sour Schuyler, 5.30.05_

_dragonlady222- Mokuba isn't pretending to be homophobic to get Seto's attention… he really is scared of gay people. Just thought I'd clear that up. He does try to warrant an awful lot of attention to himself, though, and not always in the nicest of ways._

_Hakudoshi-chan- Shadi was the funnest character to write in that chapter. Woohoo! Thank you for telling me that you thought things were a bit toned down from the last chapter._

_ttSerenity- …I'm just going to assume that that's some kind of white-boy-rapping-poser way to say "good job" and be done with it, even though you're not a boy and as far as I know you aren't white, a rapper, or a poser. O.O_

It was almost time for supper… dinner… supper… _dinner, _when Ryou and Mokuba finished their game of Yahtzee, exhausted and excited both. Apparently, though, their exhaustion was only mental, because Mokuba still had the energy to do an ardent victory dance.

"WOOHOO! I WON! OH YEAH! I WON!" Mokuba leapt to his feet and did the Monkey before going into the Twist. Odion and Ryou stared.

"I WON! OH YEAH! I WON! OH YEAH! DO THE MONKEY!" Mokuba did several cartwheels across the room, knocking over a table. "Oops."

"You _only _won because Yahtzee is a game of chance!" Ryou accused feebly. Yami entered the room wearily just in time to see Mokuba throw dice at his new white-haired rival.

"Ha ha!" Yami mimicked that boy from _The Simpsons. _"You're a Duke-wannabe, Mokuba!"

Kaiba came in, looking cool and aggro in his white trench coat. He immediately set about bopping Yami on the head and growling at him. "You can't insult my younger brother, _dear," _he growled. Ryou and Mokuba and Odion all twitched at the word _dear. _

"Oh dearie me!" Ryou twittered. Mokuba pinched him. "OW!"

"I'll insult whoever I want, Kaiba!" Yami snapped angrily. "I will be an insultMONGER! The KING of INSULTS! The Insult MASTA! The--"

_SLAP!_

Ishizu had entered.

"I'm sorry everyone," Yami apologized, having been sent spiraling back to his senses. "I'm just worried about Yugi…"

"Where is Yugi?" Mokuba suddenly asked.

Yami blushed. "Uhm…"

"You mean you spent all of this time worrying about Yugi, and you don't even know where he is?" Kaiba laughed. Ishizu's glare silenced him. "Eheh. I mean, I'm so sorry, Yami. Would you like for us to help you look for him?"

"You'd better find him," Ishizu warned. "I made koshari for him. Liked it so much, he did, he requested it another time."

"Damnit! I hate salad!" Mokuba protested. Kaiba looked at him, horrified.

"Mokuba!"

"Sigh… sorry." Mokuba sulked. His older brother glared at him angrily.

Ryou smiled, thinking that he knew why Mokuba was cursing: Mokuba was trying to get Kaiba's attention. Little did he know that he was wrong, and Mokuba just really despised celery.

Koshari was a mixture of lentils and such; it was like an Egyptian salad, and it was Malik's favorite food. Mokuba thought it was okay, but sometimes Ishizu put celery in it because celery was healthy. Celery was his least favorite food in the entire universe. It was just… guh. A/N: Yes, I really researched koshari. I think Ishizu's favorite dish is called omahri, but I couldn't find anything on it.

"Hey wait," Ryou said suddenly. "When did being Duke become an insult?"

"Oh, a long time ago," Yami told him.

Ryou wailed, "But I didn't get the memo!"

"Shut up and look for Yugi!" Yami commanded, bopping Ryou on the head with his fist.

Ryou rubbed his head. "Geez, man, you need to," he brought his pinky to his lips, "_chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill."_

Mokuba laughed.

"Let's split up, gang," Seto quoted. The others looked at him oddly. "What? I've always wanted to say that."

"I didn't even know he ever watched Scooby Doo!" Mokuba whispered to Ryou. Ryou suppressed a mild laugh.

Ishizu stepped into the kitchen and gasped. "Shadi?" she said. The tall, tan man was sprawled over the tile floor on his back, breathing torturously.

"Lucy!" a man named Arthur yelled.

"We're going to need another blood transfusion!" Van Helsing yelled. Ishizu shook her head, forcing these hallucinations from her mind. She had read Dracula one too many times.

Shadi had hit the back of his head rather hard. It was as if some giant hand had snatched him up like a rag doll and then thrust him back onto the floor as childishly and as carelessly as a… careless… child.

"My Pharaoh!" Ishizu screamed. Yami came racing into the room, ready to defend his reputation if need be.

("My Pharaoh" isn't really English at all. It's Yugoslavik for "My lover".

Yeah, really, that's why Yami's eyes go wide when she first meets him and she calls him that. Yami's like, 'Oh, no! I can't be cheating on Tea already, can I?' He thought that. Seriously. Not that I care. Isis is a slut, anyway. Seriously. You have no idea how many men she dated before settling on Shadi. I guess he's really something special. Or maybe she was on drugs. But this is tiresome, and I'm breaking the fourth wall. Back to the fic.)

"What's wrong, Ishizu?" Yami panted. "Did you find Yugi?"

"No, but Kateb's crying," Ishizu pointed out. She stepped easily over Shadi and handed a bottle of warm milk to Yami. "Could you be a dear and bring this to Malik so he can feed Kateb? Thanks." Ishizu flashed Yami a… flashy smile, and then two-stepped over Shadi again before kneeling beside him.

"What happened to _you_?" Ishizu murmured, picking up Shadi's hand and rubbing it between her hands. "I hope it wasn't those damn neighbors again…"

_What a cantankerous kid!_

Kateb hadn't stopped crying for what felt like an hour but had actually been only five minutes. Five minutes equaled 1 hour, Malik time.Malik had a splitting headache and he wished Ryou was here. For some reason, he felt like Ryou, being girli…er, um, than he was, would know a lot more about getting babies to stop crying.

"It's okay." Malik cradled Kateb and stuck two fingers in his mouth. Kateb started sucking on them… and then chomping down. Of course, little Kateb had no teeth to speak of, so it didn't hurt, but Malik sweat dropped nonetheless.

"Why do I get the feeling you're trying to hurt me?"

"Malik!"

Malik looked up. "Yeah?"

He got hit in the face with a bottle.

"Feed him with this," Yami said, before departing. Malik shouted obscenities after him, but ceased to do so after Kateb started crying again. Bringing the bottle gently to his nephew's lips, Malik sighed.

"Fine then; if you won't hate the Pharaoh, I'll just have to hate him enough for both of us, now won't I?"

Ryou passed by the doorway. "Hey Ryou!" Malik called, but Ryou didn't answer. He had the most peculiar smile on his face. "Huh. Fine then, everyone can ignore me."

And they did.

"This is where I had my dream," Yugi showed her anxiously. Tea sneezed for all the dust that inhabited the place.

They had gone in through the front door.

"It seems awfully easy to get in," Tea had commented. Yugi had kept quiet while his ears burned.

"It looks really cool!" Tea babbled. Apparently she shared Yugi's interest with the place. "It's just like a house, except a wee bit smaller, but actually it is a good enough size for people to live in! It didn't look this big at all from when Malik pointed it out to me from his house!"

"I know!" Yugi grinned. "A person could live in here."

"Yeah!" Tea grinned as well. "Let's go explore it! We'll be like Boris and Ciara!"

"You mean Lois and Clark?"

"That's the ticket!"

Yugi rolled his eyes and busied himself with following Tea down the hallway, He tried hard to keep his eyes on the peeling wallpaper. (Cough, cough.) She had grabbed his hand because Yugi started lagging behind her, dragging him along, and luckily not looking back at him so she couldn't see him blush. Tea tried all of the doors in the hallway, but they were all locked—all eight of them, except for one at the end of the hallway, on the right side of the hall.

"Who knew that this cabin was big enough to have more than eight rooms!" Tea mused, amazedly, as she jiggled the doorknob until it opened.

"Mm-hm," Yugi said, his eyes on the floor. (Jiggle, jiggle, jiggle.) He winced.

Finally the door opened. Tea let out a loud whoop, frightening the wild dust bunnies. She brought her fist a couple of inches from her mouth.

"And behind Door Number One is…!" she announced cheesily. Then both of them stepped into the room, which was very cold.

Kaiba and Mokuba were searching for Yugi begrudgingly. "Yugi!" Mokuba shouted. "Your mom wants to talk to you! It's something about some magazines she found under your futon!"

"Stop that," Kaiba admonished. ("You're going to give him a heart attack," he didn't bother to add.) Mokuba ignored him.

"Yugi! Your grandpa's having another heart attack! My brother's dressing up in a clown suit! Ishizu's making out with Ryou!"

"Mokuba!" Kaiba fumed. "Stop that now! What if Ishizu hears you?"

"It doesn't matter, Shadi's knocked out anyway," Mokuba explained. "Yugi! I—"

Kaiba clamped his hand over Mokuba's mouth. "You're so troublesome, squirt," he said. Mokuba pouted. Ryou passed by both of them.

"Ryou?" Mokuba asked. "Have you found Yugi yet?"

"You're looking for Yugi?" Ryou asked. Mokuba and Kaiba both sweat dropped. "I mean, of course you are! I am too, right? Heh… no. I'm going to check outside. That's where he was last time—er, says Odion."

"'Kay," Kaiba responded, as if he was giving Ryou permission to go ahead and look outside. Ryou gave him an uncharacteristically evil Ryou-glare, before heading out the side screen door.

They were quiet for a few seconds.

…A few very _short _seconds, to be sure.

"I grew an extra toe in my sleep and I'm ashamed to tell everyone! Fey from Cowboy Bebop is here to return the handkerchief you lent to the Bogeyman!"

Kaiba groaned. "Mokuba!"

The room was really, really odd. Yugi and Tea's eyes nearly popped out of their heads.

Hanging from the ceiling fan were two huge fuzzy dice, the kind that you might expect to be hanging from the mirror in somebody's car. They were as large as Yugi's head, including the hair.

Actually, the reason that their eyes were popping was the large, naked cardboard figure in the corner, but that wasn't what they should've been noticing.

"That's demeaning," Tea snapped, crossing her arms.

Yugi nodded and stared at the floor a little bit more, his blush deepening.

There was also a pool table in the room, and several filthy bookshelves that looked like they had been stocked with several filthy (and also physically grimy) books. On the pool table, a _Playboy _was left open. Yugi sweat dropped. Suddenly, the dice fell away from the fan, and they started to… bounce like hyperactive children who had gotten into the ice cream.

"H-ha ha ha…" A tiny tornado of bats appeared in the middle of the room. A horde of nature's only flying mammals started to try to bomb them. Yugi didn't even realize when he threw his arms around Tea's waist and pushed her out of the way—didn't even notice Tea blush and shout at him to cut it out.

The bats, as before, subsided to reveal Yami Bakura.

"Ryou?" Tea asked hopefully. "Did you come to explore too?"

Yugi growled and clenched his fists. "Tea! Don't be stupid! That's Bakura!"

"I know," Tea said sadly. "Damn…"

"Leave!" Yugi commanded suddenly. Tea looked at him like he was crazy.

"No way!" she answered.

"But there's going to be a Shadow Game!" Yugi protested.

"Smart boy," Bakura mused. "It only took him several times to figure out that whenever I show up there's a Shadow Game."

"But we have to stick together!" Tea argued. Yugi didn't say anything, but his lip twitched a couple of times to indicate his displeasure with his friend's choice.

"Alright then…"

A bat swooped down, snapping at Tea's hair. She screamed and tugged at her hair. She then saw a conveniently located metal trash can and hopped into it.

"I always knew you were trash," Bakura mused.

"I'll—just cheer you on from here! He he," she said.

Yugi rolled his eyes, but smiled anyway. "Thanks Tea. I'm sure it'll help."

But at that point, Bakura's rabid laughter was the only thing Yugi could hear, and it didn't really make him feel hopeful.


	31. Door Number 1: The Dice Game

Hakudoshi-chan- How does Seto know of Scooby Doo, since Pegasus pointed out that Seto never watched cartoons as a child? _I don't know. _But anyway, more to your question about bats… My writing style tends to change subtly due to whatever book I am reading. Right now, I am reading Dracula, and hence I like to think of the bats like symbolism. Plus, one could argue that Bakura is a lot like a vampire.

Misura- Aw, well… Yah, Tea in a trash can. Don't know where I got that from. (sweat drops) It was almost like an episode? Hooray! Nobody's ever told me that before. (smiles big) Yugi and Tea do make a good team…

Door Number 1

The Dice Game

"Hello Yugi," Bakura snarled. His voice was half-drowned out by the twittering bats that were circling lazily around the room, their mouths going at a million miles per minute. As in his dream, a single bat placed itself onto Bakura's shoulder.

Yugi looked at the floor. "So it wasn't a dream…?"

"Wishful thinking on your part, Yugi," Bakura informed him. "Or was it? Maybe you really were dreaming? I guess you're only half-going crazy. Loneliness will do that to you."

"Loneliness?" Tea echoed, and she looked again at Yugi. The petite duelist—the _champion _duelist of the world, in fact—was looking straight at the floor, disturbing the dust with the toe of his shoe, looking as if he had just lost a best friend.

Tea shook her head, and saw Yugi glaring at Bakura. _Huh? _

"What kind of game do you want to play?" Yugi demanded angrily.

Bakura told him simply: "A dice game."

Yugi blinked. "Huh?"

"A dice game. You know, dice: those little things that you 'roll' and they have either a number or a bunch of dots on them? We'll be using these." Bakura pointed to the fluffy dice. Yugi stared at him as if he was crazy. "What? You don't like fluffy dice? How about fluffy shoes."

Bakura pointed to Yugi's shoes. Yugi looked down to see that he was wearing live rabbits.

"D-Don't let him get to you, Yugi!" Tea encouraged from inside a metal garbage can. A bat flew in. "EEEEEEEEEEK! Get it out of my hair, get it out!"

Bakura grinned at Yugi. "Ok, so, these are the rules of the game…"

"Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuugi!" Yami shouted into the toilet. "Come out, come out, wherever you are! Yuuuuuuuuuuugi!"

Yami threw aside the shower curtain and gasped. On the shower's surface, there was a single drop of blood. No, wait, it wasn't blood, it was….

"YUGI ATE THE LAST OF THE RASPBERRY JAM!" Yami sobbed. "OH, THE HUMANITY!"

Oh, the stupidity.

"Why was Yugi eating raspberry jam in the shower?" pondered Ishizu, who was holding Kateb and accompanying Yami in this assinine journey.

"Oh, wait… sorry, sister, that was me." Malik scratched the back of his head. "Dang! I thought I got it all!"

"So, you got it?" asked Bakura.

Yugi looked mad. "What are you talking about! You didn't explain anything! You just said, 'Ok, so, these are the rules of the game… so, you got it?'"

From inside her trash can haven, Tea giggled. "What are _you _laughing at?" Yugi mumbled. Tea laughed again.

"Ok, fine. Now down the business," Bakura declared, and as soon as he did, all of the bats vanished into thin air, including the one on his shoulder.

"There are two dice," he began.

"Uh-huh," said Yugi, nodding.

"One of them has red dots, one of them has green."

"Uh-huh."

"We each roll these dice until we reach the number… hm, let's say 36."

"Uh-huh."

"We have four rolls. We can stop rolling whenever we like, but we can not, under any circumstances, go over the number 36."

"Uh-huh."

"You are hereby banned from using that word."

"Uh—okay."

"Each game ends after each of us take, or decide not to take, our four rolls."

"Okay."

"We play three times. Best two out of three wins."

"Got it!" Yugi said determinedly. "Who goes first?"

"I do."

Bakura lifted up the two fuzzy die and tossed them into the air. They landed on the floor…

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 4, 2_

_Total: 6_

"Your turn, Yugi."

"Okay." Yugi picked up the die and copied the movement that Bakura had done before.

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 6, 4_

_Total: 10_

"Nice roll," Bakura complimented dryly. "No, it's my turn again."

Taking both of the fuzzy dice, he soccer-kicked them into the air.

"Hey!" Yugi shouted. "That has to be cheating!"

"Did I ever say they had to be thrown a certain way?" Bakura asked, amused. "You can't just set them down, but you can throw them however you like. Now read my dice."

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 4, 2_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 18_

"Oh shoot," Tea said from inside the trash can. She poked her head out slightly. "Yugi, is that good?"

"Um…" Yugi looked at her, blushing slightly. "Actually, I'm not sure Tea," he said with an apologetic smile.

Tea jaw-dropped. "Huh?"

Mokuba and Malik were currently skipping down the hallway arm-in-arm, singing:

"Yugi! Ahoy, Yugi!

"We'll eat your dinner and shave your liver

"Come out, come out, come out!"

"Stop that!" Kaiba shouted, cradling Kateb in one hand. "Malik, I didn't know that you wanted me to look after your nephew so you could engage in such utter, stupid NONSENSE!"

"Get a life, Seto," Mokuba retorted. Seto sweat dropped.

"I _have _one…"

"Yes! He does!" Malik struck a disco pose. "By day he is a cruel and cold-hearted C.E.O.!" Malik started to act like a drooling dinosaur. "But by night he is… KAIBAMAN! Defender of bad guys and baby-kickers everywhere!"

"…I should sue you for that," Kaiba murmured.

Malik gave him a skeptical look. "On what grounds?" he asked. Kaiba murmured obloquy to himself. Kateb started to fuss. "Mmhm," Malik hummed, "that's what I thought." _Snap, snap! _the teen snapped his fingers.

"What do you mean, Yugi?" Tea asked again. Yugi growled at her.

"Hush up, Tea! I heard you the first time."

Tea glared reproachfully at her best friend. "Well, gee!"

"Sorry. See, in this game, nothing you roll is necessarily 'good' because there's a limit to what you can roll! So, a score of twelve isn't really good because you might roll three more high scores!"

"Oh! I get it!" Tea cried.

"No you don't," Bakura snapped.

"Yes I do."

"I know; I just really wanted to say that," Bakura cackled. "And now, Yugi, it's your turn!" Bakura grabbed one of the dice and threw it to the dueling midget. It hit Yugi in the face.

"Awf!"

Bakura laughed and tossed the other one, which his Yugi on the head. "A perfect roll!" he said gleefully. Yugi just rolled his eyes as he picked up the two dice.

"Geez, who writes your material?"

"My next door neighbor," Bakura said seriously.

"Really?"

"No. Now roll."

A sudden thought hit Yugi. _Why are the dice two different colors? To be festive? No way, Christmas is way over… it's July!_

Bakura narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Roll the diiice," he hissed. Yugi did so.

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 6, 4_

_2nd roll: 2, 2_

_Total: 14_

Bakura tossed his dice quickly.

_Bakura _

_1st roll: 4, 2_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_3rd roll: 2, 2_

_Total: 22_

"You two rolled the same!" Tea pointed out.

Yugi nodded. "Tea, you can come out of the trash can now. The bats are gone."

"Nah, that's okay. It's really rather nice in here."

"I lost my lunch in there," Bakura told her.

"Ew! Okay!" Tea tumbled out of the can, which fell over and rolled into the wall. "WHOA!"

Bakura laughed.

Tea scrambled out of the trash can, only to find herself in a schoolgirl outfit like the one worn by Kagome Higurashi. "Huh?" She turned around slowly over and over again. "When did I get these clothes?"

"Dunno," said Bakura and Yugi both, whose eyes had been torn from the game and more to Tea's SHORT skirt.

"Uhm… anyway! Yugi!" Tea smiled at him, making Yugi's heart thump. Even though Yami had snubbed Tea really badly before, and even though Tea was dating Malik now, Yugi had still faithfully maintained his crush on her over the past year. She had been, after all, his best friend since fifth grade, and no matter what Yami made up, she wasn't a slut.

"Yeah Tea?"

"Get 'im!"

Yugi nodded, and with a smirk that would've made Yami proud (because it was full of such confidence), he tossed the dice up into the air and then hit them with his elbow. The plopped to the floor rather pitifully, but the results were nice.

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 6, 4_

_2nd roll: 2, 2_

_3rd roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 26_

Bakura laughed. "There's no way you're going to be so lucky as to roll a ten next turn!" he laughed.

"Can't _you_ go over?" Tea demanded.

"Tea! Bakura has a 22! Even if he gets two sixes, he'll still have a 34. I, meanwhile, can go over if I get either an eleven or a twelve."

"So that means…"

"No five and six, and no six and six. I'll lose."

Ryou strolled into the living room. "I didn't find him," Ryou announced cheerfully, "but I did find a lovely garden gnome squatting underneath the hedges. It stared at me. I kicked it."

"…You're crazy," Kaiba said.

"Yeah, so are you," Ryou replied, flicking Kaiba on the arm. He sat down on the couch. "Has anybody seen Malik?"

"I'm right here," Malik said muffledly. "You're sitting on me."

Mokuba gaped at them. "I'm gonna barf!"

Kaiba felt bad for his younger brother, for once feeling ashamed of himself though he wasn't even doing anything wrong at the time.

_I make my own brother want to throw up… _

"Oops!" Ryou jumped up. "Sorry! …Geez, Mokuba, a fly is going to fly straight into your mouth."

"Why didn't you say hi to me in the hall?" Malik whined like a little kid. Odion sweat dropped.

"Oh bother," the muscular Egyptian sighed.

"I didn't go down the hall," Ryou said, "I was searching for Yugi out front, remember? But hey, um, Malik, want to go and make… er, drawings of **o**verly **u**gly **t**sines?"

"What's a tsine?"

"I'll show you." Ryou grabbed his best friend's hand and dragged him down the hall.

Tea sneezed again. The dice seemed to slow down in midair before hitting the ground. The two numbers that showed up weren't the best, but they weren't the worst.

"Shoot!" Bakura hissed.

_Bakura _

_1st roll: 4, 2_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_3rd roll: 2, 2_

_4th roll: 1, 5_

_Total: 28_

"You can do it Yugi!" Tea shouted. Yugi gulped. Although Tea was right there, cheering him on, Yugi wasn't sure if they were there at all. For one, she was wearing Kagome Higurashi's green and white school outfit. For another, things seemed to keep slipping in and out of his range of comprehension. Was this a dream, or wasn't it?

Yugi rolled the dice with a very troubled mind.

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 6, 4_

_2nd roll: 2, 2_

_3rd roll: 6, 6_

_4th roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 38_

"Boxcars!" Bakura said gleefully. "The dice reflected the heavy troubles of your mind!"

"Heavy troubles?" Tea repeated again.

"Yes, heavy troubles," Bakura declared. "But don't worry Yugi… there's still two more games! H-ha ha ha!"

"Bakura," Yugi said quietly. "I'll play these two other games, but first there's something I must know: is this real or isn't it?"

Bakura smirked. "That's something you'll have to figure out for yourself."

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 4, 2_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_3rd roll: 2, 2_

_4th roll: 1, 5_

_Total: 28_

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 6, 4_

_2nd roll: 2, 2_

_3rd roll: 6, 6_

_4th roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 38_

"And so begins our second game," Bakura said gleefully. "Well then, let's get started! You can go first this time, if you wish."

"Thank you," Yugi said dully. He stumbled across the room to retrieve the large, fuzzy dice, before he basically chucked them at Bakura's head. Bakura, however, ducked, and the dice landed near a filmy window.

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 5, 1_

_Total: 6_

"Tsk," Bakura said. "That's not good at all, unless you plan to use your 'Faith in the Dice' to roll constant 10s. I doubt that _that's _going to happen, though." Bakura started to laugh. "You don't have any faith left in you at all!"

Yugi growled and shoved on hand in his pocket. A slightly swirly wind picked up. "I'll show you!" he shouted. "I've got more faith in my pinky than you've got in your whole body! Jackass!"

"Yugi!" Tea admonished. Yugi blushed.

"Sorry, but he is."

"No, I was going to say that you didn't insult him bad enough!"

"Oookay…"

Bakura picked up the dice and threw them at Tea. She screamed and jumped out of the way.

"Gee, Tea, they're just dice," Yugi said with a smile. Tea looked at him fearfully.

"But this isn't just a game!" she declared. Yugi's smile fell, and he nodded solemnly. He picked up the large dice and held them against his chest.

_I have to have faith in the numbers I roll, or else there's no way I can win! And if I don't win, who knows what Ryou's lunatic other half might do to Tea?_

_I have to win…_

Ishizu placed a cup of tea on her nightstand. Shadi was lying on the bed, as rigid as a board. He still hadn't woken up.


	32. The Dice Game, Part 2: The Heavy Thought...

Door Number 1

The Dice Game, Part 2: The Heavy Thoughts of Yugi

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 4, 2_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_3rd roll: 2, 2_

_4th roll: 1, 5_

_Total: 28_

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 6, 4_

_2nd roll: 2, 2_

_3rd roll: 6, 6_

_4th roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 38_

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 5, 1_

_Total: 6_

Bakura grabbed the tawdry large dice and spiked them to the ground like a volleyball player.

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 5, 3_

_Total: 8_

Yugi rolled.

_Yugi _

_1st roll: 5,1_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 18_

Yugi gulped. "Not good," he decided.

"How come, Yugi?" Tea asked. He looked at her strangely.

"Haven't you been paying attention! If I get over 36, I lose! And I already have half of that!"

"Oh."

Bakura just grinned and rolled the dice.

"So, this is what a tsine looks like?"

"Er… something like that, yeah." Ryou smiled amicably at his boyfriend. "Um… yeah, that looks something like it."

"Cool." Malik finished coloring in his magnificent, astoundingly life-life drawing with crayons and sparkly colored pencils. He sat up and placed the drawing in his lap. "Hey Ryou?"

"Yeah?" Ryou asked boredly. He was doodling tepidly.

"Wanna make out?"

Ryou dropped his notepad and tackled Malik.

A/N: Awwwww……. You KNOW you wanna hug them both.

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 5, 3_

_2nd roll: 5, 3_

_Total: 16_

"Weird," said Yugi, as he moved to pick up one of the dice the other Bakura had chucked at Tea's head.

"Here Yugi," she said, handing Yugi the die. Yugi noticed her hands were shaky, so, when he took the die from her, he purposefully placed his hands over hers.

"Thanks Tea." He smiled reassuringly at her before turning back to Bakura.

"Ready 'Kura!"

"Don't call me that!"

"…No, 'Kura." Yugi rolled one die, and then the other die. They twirled around the room before settling down.

_Yugi _

_1st roll: 5,1_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_3rd roll: 3, 3_

_Total: 24_

"Hey! More doubles!" Yugi noted cheerfully. Bakura growled. "Now it's your turn to roll… 'Kura."

"Stop calling me that!"

"'Kura, 'Kura, 'Kura! Gee I like that name! 'Kura, 'Kura, 'Kura! But I don't like this game!" Yugi sang.

"…Never go into the songwriting business, Yugi," Bakura warned.

"- Okay 'Kura!"

"Gah!"

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 5,3_

_2nd roll: 5, 3_

_3rd roll: 2, 6_

_Total: 24_

"We're tied," Bakura said smugly.

"Not exactly," Yugi said with a secretive smile. He rolled his dice.

_Yugi_

_1st roll: 5, 1_

_2nd roll: 6, 6_

_3rd roll: 3, 3_

_4th roll: 6, 6_

_Total: 36_

"Let's see you emulate that," Yugi sneered. Bakura growled and tosses his dice clumsily.

_Bakura_

_1st roll: 5,3_

_2nd roll: 5, 3_

_3rd roll: 2, 6_

_4th roll: 1, 2_

_Total: 27_

"I win!" Yugi said, tilting his head to one side in a cutesy way that infuriated Bakura. It was just so… so cute!

"Not just yet!" Bakura snapped irritably. "There is still one more game."

Yugi grinned. "Well, I'm going to win it."

"There's a difference for this third game."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"We each have one dice and we roll at the same time. So, we get eight rolls instead of four," Bakura explicated.

Yugi grinned. "Sounds good to me!"

They each took a dice. Tea stood on the sidelines, watching helplessly.

"Yugi!" she cried out suddenly, flailing her arms. Yugi looked at her.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Uhm…" She flailed her arms again. "Go Yugi!"

Yugi sweat dropped, but smiled at her with confidence. "Thanks Tea."

"It's great that you have Tea's support, seeing as she's the only one that cares at this moment." Bakura sneered. "Too bad Yami doesn't give a lick about you, eh, Yugi?"

Yugi's heart beat a little bit faster. _He's just trying to mess with me…_

"Let's roll."

_Yugi- 6_

_Bakura- 5_

Bakura sneered, as if he already had the upper hand. "Alright then…" he leaned over and picked up the giant, fuzzy die. "Again."

_Yugi- 6, 4 total: 10_

_Bakura- 5, 5 total: 10_

Yugi gulped as he picked up the die. Bakura was right; Yami wasn't with him, even in spirit… but how could he be, if none of this was real? Even though this was happening, Yugi still had his doubts. His mind seemed kind of hazy, as did his situation.

_What's going on? Am I awake or not? _

_Do I want to wake up?_

_Would Yami listen to my nightmares and tell me that it was a dream and make speeches about what a donkey's butt Bakura is like he used to do? Or would he just pat me on the head and excuse himself to gorge himself on pancakes?_

_Damn it, Yami doesn't have anything to do with this game! I've got to keep focused!_

Yugi gulped, but narrowed his eyes. He looked more determined, more heroic. Tea smiled to herself.

"Go Yugi," she whispered.

"It's time to roll again, Yugi!" Bakura smiled.

"Okay…" Yugi rolled the dice.

Kaiba placed his hand on Yami's shoulder. "Yami, you idiot, we've looked everywhere. He probably ran away to Poland," Kaiba told him 'gently'. Mokuba smirked.

Yami's crimson glare towards the younger Kaiba caused a rage to form inside of Mokuba. He gave Yami the cold shoulder and made his way into his room.

Kaiba wrapped his arms around Yami's waist. "He'll show up," he promised. "Do you think he's going to the same place he went last night?"

Yami's eyes lit up with faint, new hope. "Maybe," he reasoned. "Let's ask Odion."

"Ask me what?" The two turned around to see Odion, looking rather irate.

Yami practically jumped on the man. "Have you seen Yugi!" he demanded.

Odion's eyes bugged. "I'm _straight!" _he asseverated. "Get off of me!"

"Uhm… oops." Yami slid off of Odion. "But do you know where he is?"

"Yes…"

Kaiba snapped. "Then why haven't you gone and found him yet!" he yelled. Mokuba peeked into the hallway from his room. He knew that Kaiba wasn't really concerned about Yugi, but was just acting angry so that Yami would be happy that someone was working for his cause.

What seemed like a long time ago, Seto would've done something like that for him, too.

_"Hey Seto?" Mokuba cozied himself under the soft blankets of his new bed in Gozaburo's house._

_"Yeah, Mokuba?"_

_Mokuba felt a ping somewhere in his heart. What had happened to his nickname, Mokie? Ah, well. It wouldn't matter, would it? All that mattered was that Seto and him had finally been adopted, and together._

_"That butler's really creepy…"_

_"You think so?" Seto laughed, reaching over and ruffling his younger brother's hair. They were staying together in the guest room until Gozaburo prepared rooms for him._

_"Yeah, he's all ugly and… wrinkly and… stuff."_

_"You'll look like that one day too you know."_

_"No way!" Mokuba denied. Seto laughed a little too loudly. The door shot open, inviting streams of light into the otherwise dark room._

_"Shut up in there!" the butler, Hobson, hissed. Mokuba screamed. "I said hush it! I don't know what you did in that filthhole, but you can't scream during the middle of the night! Now go to sleep!"_

_"Can we have pancakes tomorrow?" Mokuba asked curiously._

_"No!" Slam._

_"…He's mean," Mokuba lamented, setting his head against the pillow. Seto rolled his eyes._

_"He's fine. He just needs to take some time to get used to us. After all, we just got here. And don't forget he works for us now."_

_"But it's not like we can fire him… can we?" Mokuba sounded hopeful._

_"Why would we?" Seto ruffled his brother's hair—again. "Get some sleep sport."_

_"Okay."_

_The two settled down to go to sleep._

_"…Hey, Seto?" Mokuba asked after awhile._

_"Yeah?" Seto replied, sounding groggy._

_"Were Mom and Dad that ugly?"_

_Mokuba couldn't understand it when Seto started snickering uncontrollably._

"He's probably in that—that place again. I'll go get him," Odion said. Mokuba smiled. It would've been so cool to have a servant like Odion instead of that ugly S.O.B. Hobson. Hobson had died during the Death-T, and Mokuba and Seto had never spoken of him again. Odion was cool.

"I'm coming with you," Yami declared.

"No! I don't want to inconvenience you," Odion stated. Mokuba blinked.

_Why…_

"Don't you worry, my Pharaoh. I'll have him back in a Jiffy."

Yami's eyes grew large. "You're going to stuff him into a jar of Peanut Butter!" he demanded. Odion rolled his eyes and started off. Kaiba hugged Yami close and whispered something fiercely in his ear. "But—But—Oh."

Mokuba stalked off after Odion.

_Yugi- 6, 4, 5 total: 15_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3 total: 13_

"You know," Bakura said smugly, "I have a good feeling about this game."

"Oh really," Yugi replied.

"Yes, really." Bakura tossed his die high into the air. Yugi threw his at Bakura's head.

_Yugi- 6, 4, 5, 5 total: 20_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3, 5 total: 18_

"What rotten luck for both of us, eh, Yugi?" Bakura smiled cruelly. "After all, we're only halfway there…"

"Don't worry, I won't go over." Yugi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Bakura.

_What I don't understand is why Bakura chose to play a simple game of chance, _Yugi thought to himself. An image ran into his head, slopping around it like bleeding paint. Ryou looking angrily at Mokuba, who was doing the Monkey.

_O O;; I am going insane!_

"Are we going to roll or what, Yugi?" Bakura prompted. Yugi shook his head to clear it of such wacky thoughts. Once again, he wondered, _Is this a dream?_

"Okay… Let's do this then."

_Yugi- 6, 4, 5, 5, 3, total: 23_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3, 5, 2 total: 20_

Bakura leaned over and picked up the die that Yugi had tossed near him. Yugi did the same with Bakura's die.

"Let's go again, then. This game is getting to be a bit too long for my tastes," Bakura answer. Yugi nodded.

As the two of them tossed their dice, Bakura started to panic.

_As soon as someone else enters this room, the Shadow spell cast over it will end, _Bakura thought loathsomely. _I won't allow that stupid Egyptian to ruin my games again!_

_Yugi- 6, 3, 5, 5, 3, 1 total: 24_

Bakura's die was still spinning…

"Odion!"

The tan, muscular man turned around. At first, he didn't see anybody. Then, he looked down.

"Hiya, Odion." Mokuba gave him a large grin from underneath his large mop of unkempt hair.

"Master Mokuba, what are you doing out here?" Odion asked.

"Why do you call me Master Mokuba?"

"Why did you answer my question with another, unrelated question?"

"Why do you have that large tattoo on your face? What does it symbolize?"

Odion turned away. "Who said it symbolizes anything?" he answered gruffly. He brought his hand up to his face. "I just thought it looked cool…"

"You're lying. Is that hieroglyphics? What do they say?"

Odion spun around. "And how do you know that I'm lying?" he demanded. Mokuba smiled mischeiviously, as if the answer was obvious.

"Nobody would tattoo half of their face for it just 'to look cool'. Nobody gets a tattoo because 'it looks cool'. People who get tattoos usually get ones that are meaningful to them. After all, they're with you for your whole life, so it's only convenient that you get a tattoo that you'll like for the same amount of time." Mokuba smiled at him.

"…" Odion was speechless for only a moment. "I didn't 'get' my tattoo," he told him. "I did it myself."

"With what?"

"With a knife?"

"…I am tempted to do this gang sign with my hand and tell you you're 'hardcore'. Is that normal?" Mokuba asked. Odion rolled his eyes and placed his hand on Mokuba's head. "Your hand is on my head."

"Yes," Odion murmured, "yes it is. Why are you following me?"

"I want to see where Yugi goes when he runs."

Odion blinked. "When he runs from what?"

"When he runs from himself."

Odion nodded. _He knows a lot more than I thought, _he decided. _Then again, he is the younger brother of a certified genius, soooo…._

"Come on then." Odion herded Mokuba in front of him. He didn't need anymore "lost children". The two headed across the dark field, none of them feeling the dark presence that threatened to swallow them.


	33. The Dice Game, Part 3: The Vanishing Dic...

_This chapter is soooooooo gay. -.-'_

_Hakudoshi-chan- Yami has springs in his feet! THAT'S how._

_Misura- Yaaaay! I was happy to know that you understood the game. It was a really random idea of mine. The other games have more substance… Thanks so much for the semi-long review! _

_dragonlady222- Thank you, Captain Obvious! (salutes you) No, I'm just kidding. Glad you're enjoying this._

_**Important! **Starting tomorrow, I'll be gone for three weeks and probably will no update at all during that time. I'm going to be taking Creative Writing at an academic camp, because I'm just that geeky and it's just that fun. So if I update multiple times today… (throws herself on her knees and begs) Pleeeeeeeease review my chapters! Please?_

Door Number 1

The Dice Game, Part 3: The Vanishing Dice

_Yugi- 6, 3, 5, 5, 3, 1 total: 24_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3, 5, 2 total: 20_

Finally, Bakura's die stopped spinning.

"Finally!" muttered Yugi.

_Yugi- 6, 3, 5, 5, 3, 1 total: 24_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3, 5, 2, 6 total: 26_

Bakura smiled cruelly at Yugi. "Yugi, do you seriously believe you'll win?" he questioned. "After all, without Yami besides you…"

"_I don't need Yami to win!" _Yugi screamed. Tea's eyes bulged upon hearing Yugi's loud denunciaton. She had been fairly quiet for the past few rolls, as she wondered what this was all about, and whether or not it was real. The Shadow Realm, she knew, could be insane in its logics, but she was wearing _Kagome's _school outfit! And she was cheering people on from inside an empty trash can!

Yugi chucked the die at Bakura's head. Bakura calmly tossed his towards the ground.

_Yugi- 6, 3, 5, 5, 3, 1, 6 total: 30_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3, 5, 2, 6, 2 total: 28_

"Shit!"

Both Bakura and Tea blinked.

"Did you just swear?" Bakura asked Yugi. Yugi turned beet red.

"Um… no! You're delirious!" he shouted. "It's the last roll, so, now…"

"Indeed," Bakura murmured. He wondered if Yugi had figured it out yet—that the weight of the burden on the heart equaled the weight of the roll. By manipulating ones feelings, or the feelings of ones opponent, one could control the entire game.

Odion opened the front door to the house. Mokuba shuddered. The front door of the house faced away from the back door of Malik's house—making it seem as if the cabin was giving the Ishtar household the cold shoulder.

Inside, the air was nearly frigid. Mokuba's nose turned pink. "Whoa," he said, zipping up his sweat jacket. "It's freezing in here!"

"Indeed," murmured Odion. He wondered where on Earth Yugi was this time. He was not in the sitting room, because that was the first room one came through when entering the front door. Odion's gaze seemed to glue itself magnetically to the corridor that shot out of the sitting room. A dark mist seemed to hiss at him from the end of the hallway. Somehow, Odion knew that Yugi was down there. Taking Mokuba's hand cautiously, which surprised the small boy, he started to make his way down the hallway.

Bakura hissed for no reason that Yugi could gather. Yugi couldn't go over, and neither could he—he would have to roll something heavy, while Yugi rolled something light, to win. Odion was approaching them fast, however. So, how to make Yugi more confident?

"I do have to commend you," he started off, "you've done quite well without your more annoying half."

Yugi gave him a blank stare. "…What does 'commend' mean?" he asked.

"I'm praising you."

"I'm scared then."

"I'm not gay."

"Yeah… right."

Bakura looked flustered for a moment. "I'm _not. _My yadonushi-sama, however, I can't say the same about, though you can never be sure!" Bakura rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. "Don't you think, Tea?"

"Eh?" Tea poked her head out of the trash can. "Wha?"

"You look like the Cookie Monster," Bakura informed her.

"You think?" she asked. Yugi smiled.

_"Hey guys! What's up!" Tea called. The three of them crowded in front of her._

_"Ssh! Yugi and Bakura are big dueling giants and are fighting for our souls!" Joey informed her._

_"Huh? But Yugi's right here?" Tea pointed out._

_Yugi opened his mouth to explain what was going on to her, but couldn't find a proper sentence. He couldn't help that Tea looked so darn _cute _dressed up as the Magician of Faith and with that stupid look on her face._

_"Yeah, well, the big guy's not really me, well he's not really me…"_

_"Huh?"_

Yugi blushed. "Yeah, Tea, you do look like the Cookie Monster," he confessed. She crossed his eyes at him and he laughed.

Bakura smirked. It was easy for anyone to see that Yugi liked Tea; that should cheer him up and make him roll a low number. Now, for him to roll a high number…

Think…

_"Bakura!" Ryou stormed into the room. "What is this?"_

_"Uhm, that would be a puppy, yadonushi-sama," Bakura pointed out obviously._

_"It's dead, Bakura." _

_"Yes?"_

_"You can't do that."_

_"Why not?"_

_"It's not normal here in this day and age." Ryou tossed the carcass at him. Bakura, surprised by this gesture, caught it shakily. _

_"I mean—Geez, it's really dark in here. Why don't you ever open the blinds?" Ryou opened them up. Sunlight streamed into the room. Bakura winced, half-closing one eye as they adjusted to the bright sun._

_"I spent my entire past life in the sunshine, I think I deserve a little shade." Bakura argued._

_"Whatever," Ryou shrugged. "If you want. But, still—Bakura."_

_Ryou always called him Bakura, making use of yobisute. Yobisute was the usage of someone's name without an honorific at all. It was reserved for family and very, very close friends; Yugi used yobisute whenever he talked to Anzu. Yobisute could also be very rude if you used it with someone you didn't know well, but Bakura knew that whenever Ryou called him Bakura, he was trying to treat him like family._

Bakura shook his head. "Damn…" he whispered to himself. "Not the darkest one yet. Hm."

He was about to think about Kul Elna, his home town, when he realized that Odion was just a few feet away from the door. "Yugi, roll!" he yelped.

"Huh?"

"Now!"

"Ok…" Yugi picked up the die and tossed it into the air. Bakura followed suit.

As the dice fell into place, the door opened. Bakura's maniacal laughter permeated the air.

"Odion, look!" Mokuba pulled on the Egyptian's sleeve. Odion tore himself away from the door for a moment.

"Yes?" Odion replied politely.

"A mouse hole!" Mokuba got down on the floor and peeked through it. "Come out, little mice…"

Odion chuckled. "You know, Master Malik nearly got his nose bitten off by doing that one time."

"Really?"

That was all the time he needed. Bakura looked curiously at the dice before disappearing.

"Yugi?" Odion called out. Yugi turned around and blinked at him, squeezing his eyes shut tight, as if trying to adjust to some great light pouring into a darkened room.

"Hi, Odion," he said finally.

Tea peeked over at the dice.

_Yugi- 6, 3, 5, 5, 3, 1, 6, 1 total: 31_

_Bakura- 5, 5, 3, 5, 2, 6, 2, 3 total: 31_

"You tied!" she shouted. The trash can fell over.

"Ooops!" Yugi cried. Tea's shout of "ow!" was heard.

"Tea?" Mokuba asked.

"Yeah?" Her voice echoed, and she sounded as if she was a thousand miles away. Yugi hurried to help Tea to her feet. He didn't like her being as far away as a thousand miles.

"Why were you in a trash can?"

Tea sweat dropped. "Uhmm…"

_Am I supposed to tell them? Was that a dream?_

Tea looked at Yugi. He looked as if he was in a trance. Maybe we were just hypnotized… I mean, dice don't bounce on their own, do they? And bats don't just disappear. And Bakura would never play a game of chance with large, fluffy dice._...Where are the dice? _Yugi wondered. _They disappeared... _He spaced out. Tea was left to explicate on her own.

"Um… you know… we were playing Truth or Dare," she lied. Yugi snapped straight back to attention.

"Huh?"

"Yeah!" Tea lilted. "We were. And Yugi dared me to… stand in the trash can." She sweat dropped.

"I'm more creative than that," Yugi muttered.

"………Hey, what's that cardboard figure?" Mokuba asked.

"WE'RE LEAVING NOW!" Yugi and Tea pushed Mokuba out of the room and down the hallway. Odion looked at the figure.

"Oh my…" He then noticed a magazine. "It's a magazine," he muttered. "Take it? Yes/No. Yes." He picked it up and stuffed it into his uber-large pocket.

Odion didn't even have to tell Yugi and Tea that they were expected for dinner; the two teens _ran _from the cabin, as if they had been spooked beyond their years and out of their minds.

Unfortunately, Yami didn't see when Yugi came back. Ishizu had him helping in the kitchen. However, he heard the back door slam open and closed; heard the buzz of useless badinage; and he thought he might of heard Yugi laugh.

Yami wanted to run out and scream at Yugi and hug Yugi and apologize to Yugi for doing whatever it was that had set him off, if indeed it had been his fault in the first place. However, at the time he was wearing oven mitts, and he decided to preserve his dignity instead.

"Where is Shadi?" Yami asked Ishizu.

"He's still sleeping."

"Oh."

Inside Shadi's soul room, a terrible scream was heard. A flash of white hair was seen as a vase was plucked out of a plot hole and thrown to crash against the wall. The tinkle of shattered porcelain was heard.

"See ya Yugi!"

"Bye Tea."

Tea waved goodbye a second time before leaving. Ryou, too, followed after her, not wanting to overstay his welcome. Finally, only the people who were actually invited were here.

_I want fun too…_

_I'll be out soon, won't I? It'll be our anniversary soon… but he'll forget. _

_But I'll be out soon, and then I'll make sure that he never forgets me ever again._

_It'll be impossible. I won't just be a part of him; I'll be the only him!_

_And then he'll see what it's like to have people telling you you don't exist._

It was dinner time. Once again, the heavenly smell of food was permeating the air.

"Yugi, dear, you look tired." Yugi's mother held her hand up to his forehead. "Are you feeling quite alright?"

"Yes…"

Yugi hadn't touched his koshari. Ishizu was having an fit inside.

"I'm all right Mom…" Even as he said it, Yugi sounded like a zombie. "I'm fine," he repeated, as if tasting it on his tongue. But his tongue felt so big and so dry in his mouth… Yugi started to gag on it.

"Yugi!" Mrs. Motou immediately handed her son a glass of water. The entire table stopped eating to stare/gape/laugh at Yugi. (That was in the case of Malik, who was feeling spiteful that day because of his failure to dump Tea. Don't worry, though, Ishizu elbowed him in the ribs until he couldn't breathe.)

Yugi downed the entire glass of water greedily. Malik made a sarcastic remark about Yugi drinking up their entire supply of water. Ishizu kicked his ankle a couple of times before he shut up, a smug smile still gracing his features.

"Malik did you have something to do with this?" Ishizu hissed. Malik looked at her, shocked.

"_Me, _sister?"

But once he saw that she meant business (she had taken out her patented Super Glare 3000) his face fell. "No, 'Shizu dear, I did not have anything to do with this. I assure you." He began to shovel koshari into his mouth.

"I'm going to go and lie down Mom…" Yugi stood up, remembering to bow to Ishizu. "Thank you for preparing our meals," he stated, before walking/dashing out of the room.

Yami stood up to follow him.

"No!" Ishizu hissed. "Eat. _Somebody's _got to!"

And that was when Yami ate a record of one bowl of koshari in less than five minutes. The fact that he threw it up later because he had eaten it too fast is miniscule.


	34. Resident Evil 4, babeh!

Camp was fun, but now I'm BACK! WOOHOO!

dragonlady222- Why, yes, Odion did pick that magazine up. You'll be surprised at where it comes up later. :)

Yami Pandora- Now that I've been back from camp for a week and am more "in my groove", OKAY!

Hakudoshi-chan- Why yes, she does. Why yes, it is. U.U

jesse (girl)- Thanks for telling me that you were trying to put me on your fave author's list. The reason I didn't update very soon was because I was at this ultra-spectacular camp for three weeks. What course did I take, you may ask? I took Creative Writing! And here; I responded. :)

Misura- Thanks for this review! It was ultra-helpful. I read it at camp, and it made me laugh that you were upset at the tie. I don't actually know if Tea likes cookies, but in the anime Crump DOES mention that she's eaten 256 slices of pizza. (I think that's the right number.) Thanks for telling me to be proud of my geekiness. All of us at the camp are. Other people at the camp include Living on Dreams. She is a really good authoress.

Akio the Dragon Master- What, no comment of Tea in the trash can? He he he. That's so unlike you--! Lol. Glad you liked this.

Author's note:

If you read my little prologue-apology in chapter 29, you'll know that I recently purchased Resident Evil 4. Well, because I thought it would be mildly entertaining, I decided to have this chapter be somewhat of a... cross-over with that. You don't need to know anything about Resident Evil 4 to enjoy this chapter. Let's just hope Yugi makes it out alive, ne?

Also, because I'm already up to Chapter 34, I have to make the chapters longer now. If this guys you, sorry. ;;;

NOTE TO RESIDENT EVIL FANS: There aren't any real spoilers in this chapter. I've messed up the order of things, who was there, and what not. The only thing true to the story is how to beat Del Lago, and even that description is highly inaccurate and incomplete. This also covers El Gigante, and there may be minor spoilers in that, but not anything that you wouldn't know after fighting him for a few minutes.

Disclaimer: I do not own… Resident Evil 4, Yu-Gi-Oh, Inuyasha, Madagascar, Neopets, Taboo, Paris Hilton, Jack Johnson…

_Something was eating at his brain. Something white, something small. He sat up, and his arms were bleeding... the rivulets of blood tracing his veins... his muscles tensing... enlargening..._

_"Agh... Agh!"_

_In the background, "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson was playing._

_And then Yugi woke up._

_Yugi awoke on a boat. His eyes fluttered open slowly. He sat up. His tight, black leather pants (drool) squeaked with the movement. He was also wearing a white cotton shirt, and a black felt vest._

"_Why is my vest made of felt?" Yugi wondered, feeling it._

"_The budget was cut," said… somebody! Yugi turned to see who it was…_

_Beside him was Joey, wearing a police uniform and a silly blue hat to go with it._

_Yugi blinked. "Joey?"  
Joey gave him a goofy grin. "Sí!"_

_"What's going on?"_

_"Uhm..." Joey looked around him. "We're on a lake!"_

_Yugi blinked. "Really?" He peered over the side of the boat. Thick, brown sludge prevented him from seeing very deeply into it. "Gross..."_

_"Sí!"_

_"Is that like, all you can say?"_

_"Sí!"_

_"...Joey..." Yugi looked towards his friend again--but Joey had fallen over the side. "Joey!"_

_Joey had a bullet in his back. Blood rippled from his wound._

_Kaiba laughed from being a pile of wood before rushing off._

_Yugi yelled something after him, but Kaiba didn't answer. Instead, the lake started to rumble. Yugi's eyes enlargened._

_A giant Blue Eyes White Dragon surfaced and swallowed his amigo whole._

_"OW!" Joey screamed as he was digested. The Blue Eyes White Dragon roared at Yugi. The rough waters rocked the boat, but Yugi was adroit at staying put. However, the anchor of the little boat flew into the waters with a splash. The BEWD dove back under the water. _

_The anchor clipped the monster's tail. It snagged, and Yugi was suddenly dragged along behind him. _

_"WHOA!" _

_For a moment, Yugi grinned. " WHEE! THIS IS FUN!" _

_The boat rocked violently. "Never mind! Not fun!" Yugi screamed, grabbing the side of the boat so hard that his knuckles turned white._

_Suddenly, the monster disappeared. By instinct, Yugi stood up. He peered cautiously over the side of the feeble boat to see if he could find it, but the murky qualities of the lake made it impossible to see anything more than three feet under the water. Suddenly, very slutty looking harpoons shaped like the Dark Magician girl appeared. Yugi grabbed one around the waist. It giggled. He sweat dropped._

_The BEWD came rushing at him, it's giant maw gaping. Yugi threw two of the harpoons into his mouth. It roared and slapped the waters. Yugi managed to keep a hold onto the boat. _

_The BEWD repeated its previous action. Yugi picked up another harpoon. This one looked like the talking sword from Dave the Barbarian. It sang onbnoxiously as he tossed it into the monster's mouth, along with another one of the Dark Magician girl harpoons._

_Finally, the monster screamed and, blood spilling from it's mouth, it started to swear at Yugi: _

_"JERK!"_

_". Well that certainly isn't Spanish," Yugi said. The monster started to glow and change. It slowly morphed into Kagome and Sango from Inuyasha. They didn't have clothes on.  
"Qué carajo haces aquí?" Kagome demanded angrily, slamming a towel in front of her. "Lárgate, cabrón!"_

_"...Eh!"_

_"So $ed up... right now..." Marshall Mathers passed out near a barn._

_And then Yugi woke up._

_He was in Antarctica. There were four penguins, a ship, and plenty of cold. The penguins stared deeply at the harsh, windy landscape—their homeland! Their glorious homeland! Er…_

_"Well," one penguin said. "This sucks."_

_And Yugi woke up again._

_A Nascar ran him over._

_Yugi woke up._

_Kaiba tip-toed around him, dressed in a light pink, poofed-out tutu. Yugi started to twitch. The weirdest part was that they were in what appeared to be a tiny hut. Yugi found Handgun ammo next to him… and a green herb. Kaiba grabbed the herb, rolled it up, and lit the end on fire._

_"Mmm… smoke fumes…" Kaiba said, getting 'high' off of the medicinal plant. Until… "GAH! MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!"_

_"Rapido! Rapido!"_

_"Huh?" Yugi turned… and his eyes bulged._

_A dozen Tristan Taylors were pulling on two large ropes. The other ends of the ropes were obfuscated in darkness, beyond the opponent of a colossal stone door. A huge, unearthly roar caused the Tristans, who had been working with gusto, to drop the rope._

_"Mierda!" Kaiba pirouetted one last time before curtsying towards Yugi, smiling cutely. Then he ran out of the only exit and locked it shut._

_"…Since when did Kaiba and Tristan speak Spanish?" Yugi thought._

_Just then, out of the door came a huge, ugly creature. No, it wasn't your math teacher. I know, I know—so close! But it wasn't her, and it wasn't your friend's dad—you know, the one with the mole right on his dimple line? And it most certainly wasn't Tea._

_It was a Hitotsu-me Giant. _

_A TOON Hitotsu-me Giant._

_…Ok, so maybe I want to huggle it, and maybe your math teacher IS ugly, but that doesn't change the fact that this toon monster is a baddie._

_This was about the time when Yugi realized that he was no longer wearing his school uniform. He was wearing a purple tutu, and his face was done up like a rocker from K.I.S.S. Yugi was strapped like Rambo over his ballerina tutu. _

_It was then that he realized he had a gun._

_Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet._

_It was a TMP—one of those guns that fire off tons of bullets in a short amount of time. Fuuun._

_The Hitotsu-me Giant started to whoop some major Tristan ass. One of the Tristan's had his head cut clean off… Blood spewed everywhere. (A clean swipe, but an unkempt death. _

"_Clean-up on Aisle 5!" another Tristan yelled. _

_Before the blonde dreamer knew it, some time had passed, and he was taking out a large Hitotsu-me Giant with his sweetass TMP._

_"Yooooooooogi!" somebody howled._

"_Eh?" Yugi glared at Joey, who had hair as long and as beautiful as a My Size Barbie doll. "My name's not Yogi!"_

_Joey was dressed like a lupe from Neopets—a white one with red polka dots that reminded Yugi of his grandfather's underwear._

_"Why are you wearing my grandfather's underwear?" Yugi asked, even though Joey's suit was obviously a costume and not underwear._

_"Because, Yugi… I'm sleeping with him!"_

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

_Thank the Lord, Yugi woke up._

_Yugi was sitting amongst his family. They were playing Taboo. It was his turn to read the card. _

_"Hairbrush!" he shouted, even though the answer was Bikini. Behind him, his grandfather pressed the buzzer._

_"No, that was one of the taboo words!" he said, stabbing at the card._

_Yugi held the card close to his face. "Ohh…"_

_Something started to pain him again. He pressed the back of his hand against his forehead and groaned. The room started to slip out of focus._

_"Yugi?" asked his mother. Her head had been replaced by several long tentacles with eyes, and one with a scythe-like blade._

_Yugi passed out. Hitting his head on the floor, he woke up._

_Paris Hilton was standing in front of him. "And here he is, Yugi Motou! Oh! Oh!" She held the microphone up to him, accidentally hitting him in the teeth. Yugi grabbed his mouth and talked over his fingers. Then he finally fell over and, after being stepped on by Brad Pitt in a suit and stove-pipe hat who claimed that he was Lincoln, woke up._

_Yugi was strapped to a table. "Hee hee hee hee hee!" cackled Tea. "It's alive! It's alive!"_

_Mai—or rather, Mai's head on a frog's body with a chimp's arms—groaned loudly and hit the floor loosely with her hand twice, creating these thumping noises. Then she farted._

_Yugi woke up._

Yami couldn't sleep soundly because of his aibou's fever. He had even placed the Millennium Necklace around Yugi's neck, in hopes that its powers might help calm the flash sickness. Yugi had fallen asleep shortly after seven, and hadn't stirred in the slightest for three hours. Yami was staying in the room with Yugi, occasionally fluffing his pillow or replacing the wet rag on his forehead. This fever was so random in its coming, that Yami wondered if he had just been hit by an invisible bolt of lightning, or a spell.

It was a sweltering hot night. The down comforter clung wetly to Yugi's skin. His eyes were closed, his mouth hung open slightly, and his chest rose and fell in an even pattern. Beads of sweat rolled across his forehead even as he slept.

The quiet squeal of a nice shoe against a wooden floor alerted Yami to Kaiba's presence. Seto Kaiba stood in the doorway, one hand on its white frame, the other limp at his side. Both his eyes were trained on Yugi, looking as calculating as the day Kaiba had started wearing trench coats. Yami loved Kaiba's eyes, but he didn't have time to admire them right now. He sighed.

"Is he getting any better?" Kaiba asked softly, moving to sit next to Yami. Yami was sitting on the edge of the bed, while Yugi was on the roll-out futon because he had fallen asleep there, and Yami didn't want to move him.

"I can't tell. It's probably just something his immune system has to punch through. …I really have no idea what that phrase means, but I think he should be fine by morning." Yami offered Kaiba a shy smile. "Thanks for asking, though. Guess you really do care, huh?"

Kaiba crossed his arms. "No comment."

Yami laughed. "Why not?"

"Because I can't think of anything nice to say." Yami looked at him blankly, so Kaiba explained, "Mokuba told me that he heard somebody say, 'If you can't think of anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'. I thought it was kind of stupid. What if you had to place somebody under arrest? Are you supposed to just walk up, slap some handcuffs on them, and not say anything? This world is getting crazier and crazier, if you ask me. Soon we'll all have hairdos like Tristan's and a dress sense like Pegasus and old ladies won't be afraid to charge things on their credit cards." Seto paused to see his Pharaoh-koi's reaction to his slight rant.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Yami screamed, clutching at his hair. "My HAIR!"

Seto was startled. "Calm down, Yami. Calm down." He sat down next to Yami. The Millennium Necklace glimmered. Kaiba stared at it in wonderment, draping one of his arms around the Pharaoh's shoulders.

"Does that make it so that his dreams come true?" Kaiba asked.

Yami shrugged. "Sometimes," he said. "More often it doesn't than it does, though; the Millennium Necklace doesn't like to disturb people while they sleep."

"You say that as if it was a person," Kaiba pointed out, opening a diet coke. Yami glared at him slightly.

"Don't spill that. And it has a will. After all, the Millennium Rod had enough will of its own to show you a scene from your past during your duel with Ishizu. Remember? You chose the Blue Eyes White Dragon instead of Obelisk the Tormentor."

"I remember," Kaiba said. "Heh. I _wisely _chose my Blue Eyes White Dragon, opting to use it over my Obelisk the Tormentor because I didn't feel that Ishizu was worth it, and—"

Yami sighed. "Just keep telling yourself that..."

Mokuba knocked on the doorframe. "Seto, it's eleven."

"…Yeah, and…?"

Mokuba shrugged. "Just thought that you'd like to know. Nobody's gotten any sleep, they're all too worried about Yugi." Mokuba smiled softly. "I hope he's okay. It sure would be nice if he was okay. Is he okay?"

"He seems restless in his sleep," Yami explained. His voice seemed weary, as if he hadn't sleep for ten days instead of just eighteen hours. Although Seto's younger brother nodded in understanding, Mokuba fully neglected to acknowledge Yami's presence; he even stared at the wall while Yami was speaking.

There was a knock on the doorframe. "Can I join you?" Kaiba and Yami both looked up to see Ryou smiling at them.

"Oh, Ryou," Yami grinned. "I haven't yet had the pleasure of talking to you. How are you?"

"Who talks like that?" Ryou laughed amiably, and he added abruptly, "I'm fine." Ryou sat down on the floor Indian-style and stared at Yugi's shoe, which he was still wearing. "I'm really concerned about Yugi. You've been looking after him for quite some while…"

Yami nodded. "Yes. He's been like this ever since he came back with Odion."

"Oh. And where was he with Odion?"

"He didn't say, but he was really weary."

Ryou smirked. "Odion probably just got a little out of control with his S&M session." Yami and Kaiba gaped at him. "What? I can make jokes, too. Now go on out, Yami, you really need a break."

"Uhm… thank you. I do need a break." Yami cleared his throat. "I think I'll get some water…"

Ryou had expected Kaiba and Yami to leave as a unit, and he clenched his teeth and growled lightly when Kaiba remained on the mattress. "So, how are you doing, Kaiba?" he asked vacuously, balling bits of air in his fist and grasping at others in some sort of invisible game.

Kaiba stared at a spot on the wall where the paint was peeling. "Good," he said, shifting his legs awkwardly.

"Oh." Well, then. "That's good…"

"Nii-sama." Mokuba was standing at the door. Ryou's eyes flashed at him angrily, and something glowed underneath his shirt. "Nii-sama, I…"

Mokuba collapsed to the floor.

Kaiba stood up in horror. "Mokuba!"

"Mokuba!" Ryou cried in alarm. He shook the poor boy's frame. "Mokuba, get up!"

"Don't shake him!" Kaiba shoved Ryou roughly out of the way, scooping Mokuba up into his arms. Ryou looked at Kaiba in awe, recognizing tears on his face. "Oh, Mokuba… This is my fault again…"

Kaiba left the room. Ryou stood up, smirked, and stretched. "Finally," he said, and he shut the sliding door. "That man has issues. But they are not my problems."

Ryou turned, and his teeth seemed just a little bit sharper, his smile more cocky than before. "Now, Yugi…" His haired spiked up, his eyes became more narrow, his voice grew more confident. "We're going to play a game!"

In Yugi's mind, a door opened with a click; the _true _door, the one through which the mighty dreamer could finally awaken from his anxious nightmares. Even as Bakura watched, Yugi's eyes opened and shut erratically, like window blinds being used to communicate secret codes. It was as if he couldn't decide whether to close his eyes again and shut out the world for another half of an hour or to check the clock to see what time it was. The blonde dreamer finally decided upon keeping them open, lest he be harassed by Paris Hilton again or have to suffer through another Mai-frog fart.

What Yugi got was a heckuva surprise.

Yugi stood up as if he had been struck by lightning. "Who are you!" he cried, taking a few steps back crabwalk-style.

"Are you that tired that you can't recognize somebody who wants you dead?" Bakura sneered.

"Sorry; sleepy."

"Really, Yugi, I expected better from you. At least give me a little credit for healing your fever with my Millennium Key." Bakura took out the said item. "It appears that the key has a few healing properties as well. After all, it is in the shape of an _ankh, _which is the Egyptian symbol of life you know." Bakura smirked. "Now, Yugi, we never got to duel, now did we…?"

"I told you, I left my deck… It was," Yugi choked, "it was Yami's fault… where is he? Is this another dream?"

"It will be soon; a dream with _fatal _consequences. As for your deck not being here, that's all very fine. We'll just play another game for now." Bakura gave him a grin to haunt his soul. "Let's play _Vampyre."_

"P…Pardon?"

Bakura sat down Indian-style. "Vampyre is essentially hide-and-seek in the dark," Bakura explained. "If you're the vampyre, you have to stalk the other player in the dark." Yugi paled. "But don't worry… that's _your _job!"

Bakura snapped his fingers, and an hourglass appeared in his hands. He turned if over, and Yugi watched the sand slide to the bottom…

The world got foggy…

When Kaiba peered into the living room, Mokuba was still lying limply on the couch. His face was creased with worry.

"Mokuba…"

"Is he awake yet?" Malik asked. Ryou was behind him, peering over the other boy's shoulders. Kaiba thought it was strange that Ryou would have abandoned Yugi, so he figured that Yami must be back in Yugi's room.

"Not yet, Malik," Kaiba sighed.

"I'll get Ishizu to make him some chicken noodle for when he wakes up. She's already making some for Yugi, anyway, and chicken noodle is like Windex: it cures everything." Malik strode off towards the kitchen. Ryou ambled behind him like a puppy. Seto couldn't help but notice a large bruise on the back of the albino's arm.

"Ryou?"

"Huh?" Ryou turned around, jumping nearly a foot in the air. "Y-Y… Yes Kaiba?"

"Where did you get that bruise?"

Ryou touched the aforementioned boo-boo tenderly, wincing under his touch. "Oh… this? I… fell down the stairs on my way here, is all."

"I didn't see that when I saw you before."

"My back wasn't to you then," Ryou blurted. "And… uhm… your eye isn't very… uh… smart… I mean keen… I mean observant—well, keen would've worked too, but I'll stick with observant—so… so there!" And Ryou fled the room, leaving Kaiba with a raised brow.

Yugi awoke, and he was sitting next to Mokuba. "Mokuba?" He shook the prostrate boy's shoulder. "Mokuba?"

"Yugi." Mokuba sat up. "Where am I?"


	35. I COMPLETELY forgot this chappie's name

_Note!_

_I'm sorry that Chapter 34 took so long to get up. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't post it. And now I know… scroll up! (Seriously. I'm THAT stupid. Laugh at me if you will._

…_Laugh at me!)_

_Anyway, I went to Canada and went to a Japanese mall. I now have Yu-Gi-Oh #23 and #24, and Yu-Gi-Oh R, all in Japanese. I also have Inuyasha #40 and Legends #1._

_So… anyway… yeah… sorry about that! I'm posting this up now to make up for it._

Akio- If only we could bribe Ariel somehow to draw us a tutu-fied Kaiba pic, our worlds would be complete. U.U

Hakudoshi-chan- You know you need to rest your eyes when… ;)

dragonlady222- I'm not at liberty to reveal what Bakura is up to. Have your people talk to my people. Since my "people" is Tea, do so at your own risk.

_Tea-wearing-sunglasses: (holds out her hand in a snobby manner)_

Summoning up his spookiest voice, Yugi said, "Welcome to the confines of my mind."

Mokuba stared at him blankly.

"…Ok, so I'm kidding you and I have no idea where we are. It sounded cool at the time though," Yugi added, mumbling.

"What are we doing in this dark place?" Mokuba asked. "I feel like Sailor Moon in the Nether realm." Yugi helped him to his feet.

"You look like Sailor Moon… We're stuck playing a game… of Vampyre. Do you know how to play?"

Mokuba nodded, dusting off his jeans. "Yeah, I played it at a b-day party once."

"You played this game at a beer day party?" Yugi looked both surprised and impressed. Mokuba rolled his eyes.

"It was a _birthday _party, you fool." Mokuba scoffed, "Is there even such a thing as beer day?"

"You fool, you fool, you fool… Gee, you sound like Malik."

"Geez, when I'm 16, will I be as uncool as you?"

"Only if your brother is as uncool as my yami," Yugi explained paradoxically. "Now, maybe we should get going to search for Bakura. Because, I believe he said that we are the vampyres."

"Did you just say vampires with a y?"

"Did you just talk about the spelling of what I said?" Yugi snapped back. "Now come on, I think we have a time limit."

"Of how long?" Mokuba asked.

Yugi only replied, "Not long enough. So let's go!"

"Okay."

The hallway was impossibly dark. Mokuba noticed that right away. It was long, and dark, and long, and dark. Blackness seemed to seep in through the edges of the ceiling, creeping across each other in an unholy, black-and-white stained glass effect.

Mokuba shivered. "Yu-Yu-Yugi," he stammered.

"Yeah?" Yugi called from somewhere nearby. He was too busy trying to find something with which to produce a light. Mokuba could hear him, but he couldn't see him. Shivers ran up and down his spine.

"I'm afraid of the dark," Mokuba admitted. "It's creepy…"

"'S'understandable. We were all afraid of the dark at one point or another…" Yugi smiled at him, though Mokuba couldn't see it through the dark. "Hey, I found a lighter!"

"Really?" Now would be the time when Mokuba leaned over Yugi's shoulder fearfully just when Yugi lit it, and end up catching his hair on fire. However, since Mokuba couldn't _see _Yugi, much less cower behind him, this didn't happen.

Pleasant thought, though. :)

- - -

Ryou Bakura sat pleasantly inside his soul room. He had been in here so many times, he was quite afraid that he was beginning to enjoy the confines of his mind. It was purely fascinating to poke around there, to see pieces of himself. He could find himself in the broken photograph frame, in the crooked picture of his friends and him on the wall. He could see himself in the mirror, in the hairbrush, in the bed with the covers that disappeared and reappeared according to his emotional and physical security (as well as spiritual; that was becoming more and more important to him nowadays). He could also see himself in the bruises all over his legs. Thank God Malik hadn't seen them.

- - -

The lighter caught on Yugi's third try. Bringing the flame up in front of his face, he grinned eerily.

"Mwa ha ha, mwa ha ha, MWA HA HA HA HA!" Yugi cackled.

"Um, Yugi, why are you doing that?"

Yugi paused.

"………Doing what?"

Yugi inclined his arm, keeping the lighter above his head. For a split second Mokuba had a humorous vision of the lighter dropping and Yugi's hair catching on fire, without the teen's noticing.

A long cavalcade of laughter erupted from all around them suddenly. Yugi jumped, nearly dropping the lighter; he ended up burning his fingers as he fumbled with it.

"Here, give me the lighter." Yugi tossed it to Mokuba, the flame sizzling out. He poked all of his fingers into his mouth, massaging the burnt articles with his tongue and whimpering softly.

"Why does the laughter sound like it's coming from everywhere?" Yugi puzzled. Mokuba shrugged. "Mokuba?"

"I said I didn't know," Mokuba snapped.

"No you didn't!" Yugi decried.

"Oh; well, I shrugged." As if to prove his point, Mokuba raised and lowered his shoulders again.

"I couldn't see it, _you fool,_" Yugi said, mimicking Malik perfectly. Shivers escalated up and down all of Mokuba's vertebrae.

"Oh. Sorry." Mokuba frowned in embarrassment, and added, "_Really_ sorry. I'm really such a dolt; I didn't even think of that. Do you think that's why Seto doesn't like me anymore?"

"Imbecile; you know he lurves you," Yugi said, stepping tentatively across the hallway.

"Lurves me?" Mokuba echoed disparagingly. Laughter teetered on the edge of his voice.

"Mm-hm, now shush; good vampyres don't talk."

"You said that with a y again," Mokuba complained in a hushed whisper.

"Oh, shut up. Hey, an air vent. _Exxxxxcellent._"

Mokuba rolled his eyes. The way Yugi had said "excellent," you would have expected him to pin "dude" on the end of his sentence.

- - -

"And so he said that he'd bought _lettuce _instead of _tomatoes_," Mrs. Motou said.

"No!" Ishizu gasped; and then: "…Really?"

"Yup."

"Wow!"

Ishizu and Mrs. Motou laughed to themselves. Seto, who had eavesdropped on them while watching Mokuba lie on the couch (which became boring, _fast_), sweat dropped.

"Wow. Married women are boring…"

- - -

Yami walked back into the room to see Yugi, sleeping as soundly as he had been before—

"Eh?" A/N: Forgive me, I just got back from Canada. Yami perked up his ears. He could swear that he heard Yugi making a low whining sound. But Yugi was sleeping, and the boy didn't have any kind of tendency to talk in his sleep, so—

Yami's thoughts were called to a halt as somebody grabbed him from behind and spun him around.

- - -

Yugi leaned forward, concentrating solely on the air vent. The next time Bakura laughed, Yugi's hair flew back gently.

"We can get to wherever he is from the air vent," Yugi deduced. "Do you want to go?"

"Why me?" asked Mokuba.

"Well, see, I'm not sure whether or not he has tabs on me or not. Bakura is pretty skilled with Shadow Magic, and besides, his Millennium Ring can point out all of the other Millennium items. He would see me coming. Also, there's the fact that I believe this is my dream, and I can boss you around however I want. So chop chop!"

Mokuba hung his head resignedly. Yugi helped him remove the cover off of the air vent, and Mokuba crouched down and crawled in. The air vent was fluffy with dust, and Mokuba found himself sneezing almost immediately for all of it that plagued the silvery, sinuous passage.

"Gesundheit," Yugi responded.

"Do I have to do this, Yugi?" Mokuba asked.

"Yes," Yugi said, nodding. "I will try to track him down another way while you do this."

"But can't you go through?"

"You're smaller than me," Yugi said.

Pause.

"But not like that though," Yugi corrected himself before strolling off. "I wish you the best of luck."

"Yugi!" Mokuba really wasn't sure about this. Was this all a dream, or was he really in a Shadow Game? What did Yugi mean, _his _dream? This wasn't Yugi's dream! This was Mokuba's dream!

Wasn't it?

"What is it?" Yugi asked.

"…I'm scared."

"Yeah…" Yugi sighed. He took something out of his pocket. "Here." Yugi slipped it into Mokuba's back pocket. "Think of it as a good luck charm."

Mokuba couldn't quite tell what Yugi had given him, but feeling it against his skin gave him some kind of courage. If he could feel it, he told himself, it was real. If he could feel it, it was real. If he could feel it, it was real. If he could feel it…

Mokuba started to make his way down the air vent. Following Bakura's laughter wasn't hard. What was hard was keeping quiet. These silverish tunnels seemed especially designed for making noise; plus, Mokuba could scarcely keep his mouth shut when a large, plump mouse scuttled across his pathway.

Mokuba wasn't afraid of vampires; oh no, of course not. He was afraid of _mice._

Mokuba swallowed hard and reached back for whatever it was that Yugi had given to him. Feeling it—it was made of cool metal—in his palm made him feel calmer. He continued.

- - -

"Mokuba's not waking up," Seto said. Yami rolled his eyes.

"Geezus, Seto, you startled me—"

"I said he's not waking up!"

Yami blinked. "Who is not waking up?"

"Mokuba!" Seto brought his hand to his face and chewed on his left index finger. His face was milk-white, and he suddenly looked as if he hadn't slept.

"Hey," Yami said, standing on his tip-toes and wrapping his arms around Seto's neck. "Don't worry. He probably just caught it from Yugi. He'll be fine—"

"But he passed out."

"Fine," Yami grunted. "He. Will. Be. Fine."

Seto obviously wasn't listening, though. Yami, seeing that his boyfriend was about to spaz out, rolled his eyes and decided to do what he always did when he wanted Seto to relax and/or shut up.

- - -

_I can barely breathe, _Mokuba thought to himself. He almost said this aloud to himself, to comfort himself—hearing his own voice always gave him a sense of reassurance—but he remembered that his voice would carry.

Bakura was close.

Mokuba didn't know how he knew.

Meanwhile, Yugi was distracting Bakura by putting on a show. He made a big deal of tripping over everything in sight. He pinched the bridge of his nose after he ran into a lamp.

_I hope that Mokuba tags Bakura soon. _

_At least I don't have to pretend that I can't see; this place is pitch dark._

That was what terrified Mokuba the most. He couldn't see where he was going. He didn't even know when the tunnel forked. He was just going towards Bakura's voice…

Hey, a light!

Mokuba emerged behind Bakura, who was, in the dark, operating a large computer. He appeared to be looking up music videos on Launch on one window, and playing Destruct-o-match on another.

"Now I'll make Ryou's neopet sick… ha ha ha! The NeoFlu! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Bakura cackled softly. This was Mokuba's chance.

He kicked the air vent cover off and leapt onto Bakura's back. "TAG!" he yelled. His large grin showed his happiness; he pumped his fist in victory. However, his cheers soon became screams as the entire world started to melt away like a black wax candle.


	36. Chapter 36

Hakudoshi-chan- Well, ok. Let's consider the facts. Yugi and Joey and Tristan are perverts; Sailor Moon in its unedited version has lesbians. Yeaaaah… I just _bet _they've heard of it.

dragonlady222- Ok, I have updated soon. I'm glad that you feel bad for the characters. I mean, that means I'm getting a point across, right? Thanks for your review; it was helpful.

_Once again, amethyst awakens…_

Yugi woke up disoriented, perturbed, frightened; he felt as if he had been hit by a truck and had gone flying through the windshield. Pain wrapped itself around his brain and squeezed. He sat up; almost at once the movement was too much for him—the fluids in his head seemed to all rush to one common point and bubble and fizz and _hurt…_

"Nyrgh.."

His eyes popped open painfully. The room took a few seconds to come into focus, for the two blurs upon a blur to take shape. Yami and Kaiba were sitting on the bed, their arms wrapped around each other. Open lips were centimeters away from each other, though they were staring at him, comically frozen in place.

And thus, five-point-five seconds after regaining consciousness, Yugi was already hopping mad. He stood up—forget that he felt like he had a hangover and kidney stones and that he couldn't breathe! He was getting the out of that room. Now.

"Yugi!" Yami was overjoyed to see that Yugi had awoken. Jubilance shone in the purple outskirts of his crimson irises. "You're alright."

The more petite blonde glared at his traitorous counterpart. "I want it back," he whispered fiercely as he stabbed at the air, generally pointing in the direction of Yami's chest, where the Millennium Puzzle was snagging the spirit's shirt. His entire body trembled with anger and rage. "You are such an imbecile, Yami… you tainted it!"

And with two drunken steps, Yugi exited the room and slammed the door shut.

"Yu—Yugi!" Yami ran after him, but Kaiba grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back.

"You really want to get him more riled up when he's in such a sick state?" Kaiba demanded; he had noticed that Yugi wasn't better and that he had stumbled out of the room illy. "He obviously doesn't want to take to you, at any rate; I guess you got him mad."

"How?" Yami wondered.

"We were about to kiss, bozo; he probably things we made out the whole time he was asleep."

"But—but that's not true!" Yami pointed out.

Seto sighed a little bit. Sometimes his cute and cuddly Pharaoh could be _soooo _dense! A/N: I get two points for making Seto use the words cute and cuddly! (shoots a basketball) Scooooore!

"It doesn't matter whether or not it is true, because Yugi doesn't know the truth either way. He was sleeping, remember? He doesn't know that you skipped watching girl's soccer on television to watch over him." Seto smirked. "He probably would've thought you were an idiot for not watching girl's soccer, though, since he's such a perv."

"Hey!" Yami glared at Seto, striking a semi-defensive stance. "Don't say anything mean about Yugi—okay? He is my light. To me, he is everything; without him, I can not live. …Hey, wow, that sounded deep."

Seto stared at him.

Yami stared back.

Seto asked, "Are you cheating on me?"

It was a half-joke. The Pharaoh sighed, knowing that such a delicate relationship would involve more explication for the hardhearted C.E.O. "Only if _you _are cheating on _me—_with your brother. It's exactly like brotherhood, when—remember Alister?"

"Yeah, I remember," Seto said, shifting his legs uncomfortably. Dang, when had he started crossing his legs? That was so girly.

"Well, remember how to him, Mikey was his everything? The only thing he had left? Yugi is like that to me.

"Because, Yugi is the one that gave me life again… and cared enough to stick with me even when others refused to believe I existed." Yami smiled. "And that's the best I can do. It's like you and Mokuba; if Mokuba didn't like you, you'd…" Yami smiled sadly at the floor. "Well, if that's the case, then I guess you know exactly what I'm feeling."

Yami knew that Seto did.

"Yugi's my all."

"You're 'y'all'?" Seto asked, not bothering to hide his yawn. He even went so far as to stretch his arms out, making sure to wrap one around the Pharaoh's shoulders. This conversation was too boring—or perhaps too personal—or perhaps too true—for him.

"I said my all."

"Your 'y'all'," Seto repeated, standing up. He stretched and yawned again. "Anyway… I'm going to sleep now. You tell Yugi the truth, and I'm sure that everything will be fine… or at least it will reach a relative standard of 'fine'."

"Like a cousin?"

Seto sweat dropped. "No, not relative as in… Look, just go tell him… I'm going to check on Mokuba."

Seto stood up and left the morose blonde in his room. "Yeah," he muttered, shaking his head, "…that idiot's not going to do anything." He made his way to the living room, where he found Mokuba beginning to revive.

"Mokuba!" Seto jumped on him and crushed his ribs. "You're okay!"

"Owwwwwwww!" Mokuba howled. "Not anymore I'm not!"

"Oh; sorry." Seto sat up and, for a moment all of those in the room got to witness the rare Seto Grin. It stretched from ear to ear. Those who were in the vicinity stared, open-mouthed, in pure, pure, awe.

Seto turned his head. "Oh, Yugi, I need to talk to you for a second outside."

No point in leaving it to the Pharaoh to do. Yami wasn't going to say anything to Yugi. The sad thing was, once he had lost Yugi's trust, he had become terrified of him, as he was terrified of Yugi's hatred.

Yugi stared at him coldly. His mother was in the process of hugging him, while fussing over him and offering him glasses of water. "Ok," he agreed after a few seconds, sounding less spiteful than Seto expected.

Seto grabbed Yugi's arm and dragged him away from his maternal unit. Yugi didn't seem too upset. Once outside, Seto decided to lay things straight. Nine, ten, a big fat hen! A/N: Fowl! Free shot! One free point! Ha ha… I'm having fun with this.

"Yugi, we weren't making out while you were asleep, _baka_. I told him to tell you this, but I know he won't, because he's very embarrassed to talk to you. He thinks you hate him."

Yugi's violet eyes became very large—not necessarily scared, or shocked, just _large_—like an owl's, and trained on Kaiba. As usual, Kaiba was not unnerved by the staring. He had way too many fan girls staring at him during the school year. Ryou would understand the feeling. So, who cares if people are staring at you? What do you care?

"Yami was so concerned about you while you were asleep. After your mother opted to help Ishizu clean up, Yami sat next to you the entire time… save for three bathroom breaks, and there was this one time where we were playing marbles and one shot out of the room and he had to go out of the hall to retrieve it. But other than that…

"I don't know what else to say except that you should believe me. You effect Yami so much. Every time I mention you, he always has something to say.

"…

"…Yugi?"

Sometime during the course of Seto's mini-speech, Yugi's gaze had strayed. He had been staring at the Ishtar's backyard. Seto followed suit. He gasped.

Over by the cabin, a dark, dark figure was emerging, seemingly from the ground. The Earth quaked as the figure appeared, and immediately became calm again once this character took off into the woods.

"What was that?" Kaiba asked. That being… had, had red eyes. Ones that he felt he had seen before…

"A diablo?" Yugi guessed. "I have no idea. But whatever it is… it's creepy." Yugi shivered. "Did we really see that?"

"Maybe it was the moon," Seto guessed. "The light can play tricks on one's eyes." As Seto said this, he had a startling epiphany: Ryou had come back to the house tonight. Ryou had left before dinner, but he had come in and offered to look after Yugi, meaning…

"A _gensou?_" Yugi suggested. His words seemed to cling to the two of them in the humid and still air, like moist drops of sweat.

"Pardon? I didn't quite catch that."

"I asked if you thought it was an illusion?" Yugi repeated. "And, um… I'm sorry I was so hard on you and Yami… especially you, Seto. You really haven't done anything to warrant my hatred, so if I get mad at you, I'm truly sorry. I'm just having an episode… where…"

Seto noticed that Yugi sounded really confused as he said this next part:

"…I'm just having an episode… where… I'm not sure if I'm awake or not."

He turned to Seto pleadingly. "Am I awake, Seto?"

Yugi hardly ever called Kaiba by his first name. Since he was doing it now, Seto figured, he must be portraying the utmost sincerity. …Or, he could just be bullshitting him. Whichever.

Seto nodded. "Yes, Yugi… You are awake," he said robotically, monotonously. Then he shivered. _What the hell is wrong with this kid?_

"Good." Yugi shivered. "I don't want to go to sleep again…"

Seto, with the instinct of a parent, placed his arm around Yugi's shoulder and lead him back inside.

- - -

Although it would have been expected for Mokuba Kaiba to jump to conclusions when his big brother came into the house again with his arm cradled around Yugi's shoulder, for once Mokuba thought exactly what he was supposed to think: that Seto was comforting a very upset individual who, brave though he tried to be, had just cracked down. It was then that bizarre portions of his dream floated back to him, having the effect of a bubble popping in front of his face. Mokuba shook his head, trying to make sense of it all. What kind of a dream was that? He had never had dreams with Bakura in them before.

Suddenly Mokuba felt a searing pain in his back pocket. Reaching in, he picked up a cool, metal, round object and thrust it onto the floor.

_So cold, it burns, _thought Mokuba bitterly. He looked at the object closely. It had the design of a snake coiled around a box, again and again and again. Mokuba looked up to see both Yugi and his older bro' staring at him. Seto still had a steadying hand on Yugi's shoulder.

"That's… my pendant," Yugi said slowly. It seemed as if the gears were creaking in his head. "You… you can… keep it?"

_My brain feels so slow, _Yugi thought morosely. _Maybe I do need to go back to sleep. But, what if this is my dream? God damn! _

"You gave it to me," Mokuba stated.

Yugi nodded. "That I did." He remembered. Yugi turned to Seto. "Thanks for listening to me," he said. "I'm fine now."

Seto nodded and released Yugi's shoulder. Yugi exited the room.

Mokuba picked up the coiled snake pendant and placed it back into his back pocket. Somehow, it was going to keep him safe.

- - -

Later that night, Ryou was making his way home. He was stopped a flash of white.

"Hello, Yami," he mumbled. His double leered at him. Then, his smirk dropped into a deep scowl.

"Where did you get those bruises?" Bakura interrogated. Ryou just stared at him.

_He can't possibly know, _Ryou thought to himself. _Blimey, no, I… I've got my jacket on, they're all covered up… all of them… Wait, I'm hugging my arms. Maybe if I take my hands off of them…_

Ryou let his hands droop to his side. "What are you talking about?" he asked, trying to equal the suspicion put forth in Bakura's interrogating voice.

"The bruises. All over your arms and legs. Where are you getting them?" Bakura's voice was as cold as ice, his eyes tiny slits that were beginning to glow faintly red.

"I don't know what you're…" Ryou winced, knowing that lying right now was a bad idea. So… "I can't tell you."

"_Pardon_?" Bakura ground his teeth together. "I don't believe I heard you correctly just now."

Ryou didn't say anything, just kept walking past his other half. Bakura, strangely, kept still, his mouth open wide. Several flies flew in. He was baffled. Ryou just kept walking past him… as silent as a ghost.

- - -

Seto watched Yugi leave the room. He didn't know what was going through Yugi's head at the moment, but he was glad that Yugi still had his _meiyo—_his honor.

Tired of all the unneeded drama in the household, the C.E.O. flopped down on the couch next to his younger brother and watched his brother trace the plaid snake on his pendant. Mokuba leaned his head against him, until he realized who—or, more importantly, _what _was sitting next to him.

Mokuba scooted away. Seto sighed.

"I get the bed tonight," Mokuba said. Seto groaned.

"Nooooo," he howled lowly. "You got it yesterday."

"You want to argue, Mr. Queen?"

Seto picked up a pillow and buried his face into it. He waved Mokuba away.

_Fine, _he thought. _Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine._

"Let's play Ken Ken Pa for it," he started. A/N: Ken Ken Pa is another Japanese name for Rock Paper Scissors. There are many names for this game… one is Janken. Another is Farkle! Three-points for using the word FARKLE! WOO!

Mokuba assented.

"Rock… paper… scissors!" Mokuba had paper, Seto had scissors. Mokuba just shrugged, stood up, and left the room, carting his newest treasure with him.

Seto growled. "A victory isn't worth it unless the other person is sorry they lost," he advised the air.


	37. Kagome, Kagome

_Author's note: This chapter is really more for my own amusement than anything relevant to the plot. (That is such a lie.) I hope you find it informative and… interesting, at the very least. (Oh, it will be. That is such a lieeeeeeee!) In this chapter, Malik makes everybody play a Japanese children's game. It's called Kagome Kagome. I did not make it up._

_Realizing that I'm already up to 38 chapters, the chapters are about to get a whole lot longer. The bulk of the story is going to be in these next ten chapters, which are going to be pretty long. Sorry about that. But, I don't want to make this too many chapters…_

dragonlady222- I don't think that's the secret Ryou has to be worried about… (Wink!)

Hakudoshi-chan- Why yes, it does. (Me too. OO)

Akio the Dragon Master- You'll find out… MuahahahhaHAHA!

"Oi, Mokuba!"

Mokuba turned his head towards Malik. "Yeah?"

"You want to play _Kagome Kagome _with me and Ryou?"

"Just three people?" Mokuba looked confused. "You can't play with just three people! …Well, ok, you can, but it's no fun that way!"

"Tea said she's coming over later. Maybe we can get Yugi or Yami to play!"

"Well…"

Malik whipped out his Super Deluxe Puppy Eyes. "Puh-leeeeeeeeeeease?" Lavender orbs wobbled dangerously on his face. Mokuba smiled weakly.

"Okay," he agreed.

_Later…_

"Yami!"

Yami turned. "Yes, Malik?"

"Will you play a game with Royu, Mokuba and me?"

"Did you just say Royu?"

"MY NAME ISN'T ROYU!"

"Sorry, Ryou, geez! Slip of the tongue." Malik glared back at his still-clandestine boyfriend. Yes, he was a cheater. But he was still thinking of a way to devastate Tea. …Not too bad, though. He did value her as a friend. You wouldn't find many people like Tea, not in the whole wide world. You could push her off a cliff and she'd still want to be your friend. LOYALTY, MAN! SHEER LOY-AL-TY!

"So do you wanna play?" Mokuba asked, peering out at Yami. "We've been trying to play, but Ryou doesn't make a very good oni."

"Shut up, Mokuba! I can't help it if I can't guess who's behind me!" Ryou protested.

"There's only two of us! There's a 50/50 chance, _baka!" _Mokuba argued.

"Don't call me a _baka!"_

"I just did, _baka!"_

Ryou growled from deep in his throat. "Grrr… _baka!"_

"_Baka!"_

"_Baka!"_

"_Baka!"_

"Shut up!" Malik screamed.

"_Baka!"_

"_Baka!"_

"_Baka!"_

"Bakas…" Malik half-lidded his eyes, giving him a peeved look. "Anyway, Yami, please play?"

"I… don't know how to. What game is it that you are playing?"

"Kagome Kagome."

"What's that?"

"We'll teach you how to play," Malik offered brightly. "Come on!" He grasped the Pharaoh's wrist and pulled him into the room. "Hey Tea! Want to play a game?"

Tea shook her head. She had just come into the house. "No; Yugi and I are studying. Tell Ryou if he wants, then he can join us."

"Okay. Although he can't see." Malik pulled his head back into the room. "Okay, Pharaoh, this is how you play. You have one person that's blindfolded… the oni."

"I can't see!" complained Ryou. Mokuba rapped him on the head. "Ow! Malik, stop that!"

"So, what you do, is you have to circle around the oni while singing a song. It's kind of like Duck Duck Goose, in a way," Malik explained. "Have you ever played that?"

"No…"

Malik sweat dropped. "That's okay!"

"I liked it better when we played Hide & Seek yesterday," Ryou complained. "I always get the short end of the stick…"

"So, anyway." Malik looked back towards Yami with sparkling lavender eyes that seemed alive with dew and fairies and excitement. "After you sing the song, the _oni," _here Malik tapped Ryou on the head, "has to guess who is standing behind him."

"What if there's nobody standing behind him?" Yami asked.

Malik shrugged. "The closest person wins."

"How does the song go?" Yami asked, growing interested. This game reminded him of one that he used to play with Mana when he was little. He didn't remember it, but the Dark Magician Girl herself had told him all about it.

Malik opened his mouth to recite the chant.

"_Kagome Kagome  
Kago no naka no tori wa,  
Itsu itsu deyaru.  
Yoake to ban ni.  
Tsuru to kame ga subetta,  
Ushiro no shoumen dare."_

Yami nodded. "Okay…"

"Can we do this in English?" Ryou grumbled. Malik knocked him on the head. "Ow!"

"No. Nobody else here _speaks _English."

'Ooh! Ooh! I do!' Mokuba was jumping up and down and mouthing those very words. Malik forced him to the ground by placing his hands on his shoulders and pushing down, telling him to be quiet, squirt.

"How would the song go in English, Ryou?" Yami asked curiously. The blindfolded Ryou sighed.

"Kagome, Kagome,  
When does the bird inside the cage come out?  
At dawn and evenings.  
Who is in front of the back where a crane and turtle slipped and fell?"

"Where do the lyrics come from?" Yami asked Mokuba. He figured that since Mokuba was the only person in the room whose nationality was genuinely Japanese, that he should know. However, his supposition was in error, as he found out when Mokuba shrugged

"Nobody really knows," Mokuba told him. "It's kind of mysterious. Some people think that the lyrics come from a lost myth."

"Interesting," Yami said. A graceful smile came upon him. Yami was, as Yugi put it once, 'The King of Myths'. They seemed to surround him. His entire past had been mysterious until he defeated the Leviathan. After that, the Dark Magician Girl assented to tell Yami tidbits of his past. But the majority of his Pharaohdom was still just another myth floating around in the quandom ruler's cerebrum.

"Usually you need five or more people to play," Mokuba continued explaining. Malik nodded. "I'll go and get Tea and Yugi. Like they're really studying. Pfff."

Yami blinked, wondering what Malik meant by that. "What did he mean by that?" he asked Mokuba, redundantly.

Mokuba shrugged. "Who knows? We found Tea and Yugi hanging out in the cabin together yesterday."

Ryou smiled happily. "At least Tea has somebody to fall back on when Malik… eh, never mind." Ryou blushed; he could feel the blank stare of Yami and the suspicious stare of Mokuba upon him. "Eh… let's talk about how much of an idiot Yami is again!"

"Hooray!" Mokuba threw his hands up.

Yami sweat dropped. "Oh, hush it. How does the song go again?"

"Kagome Kagome," Mokuba started. The way he enunciated the words made it clear that Yami was to repeat them.

"Kagome Kagome."

"Kago no naka no tori wa."

"Kago no naka no tori wa."

"Itsu itsu deyaru," Mokuba said.

"Itsu itsu deyaru," Yami repeated.

"I've got it!" Malik rushed back into the room. A cheeky grin amplified his face. In his arms, clasped against his chest, was an old-looking book. "I grabbed one of their textbooks."

"That doesn't look like a textbook, Malik," Mokuba pointed out. "You take Arabic at the high school, Ryou?" It was a random question that had just popped into his head. Ryou laughed at how Mokuba had grabbed the question out of thin air.

"No… I take English, like everybody else. Best damn student that teacher ever had, I tell you!" Ryou pumped his fist into the air.

Yami looked at him blankly. "But Ryou, you're British."

Ryou put on his pouty face. It made Malik want to glomp him, but of course he didn't. "But Yami, you're stupid. That was my point."

"Oh." Yami leaned back against the wall. "Kagome Kagome/Kago no naka ni tori ya/Itsu itsu de aru," he mumbled.

"What kind of a book is this, then?" Malik wondered, looking at it. "I was trying to grab one of their textbooks so that they would have to come in here to get it… and this was the one they were looking at. They seemed really interested in it, too."

"Are we going to play?" Ryou asked boredly. "I'm tired of being the oni! We're not even playing anymore!"

"Ok, ok." Malik set the book down gently on his bed and then looked at Yami. "So, do you understand, Pharaoh?" He asked, grinning at Yami.

Yami shook his head. "Not really."

"Good." Malik grabbed his wrist and pulled Yami into the circle.

"_Kagome Kagome  
Kago no naka no tori wa,  
Itsu itsu deyaru.  
Yoake to ban ni.  
Tsuru to kame ga subetta,  
Ushiro no shoumen dare."_

"Um…" Ryou tried to guess frantically. "I think that… Malik's behind me."

Just then, time froze.

_It's so close!_

Bakura entered the room and coolly surveyed it. "Idiots," he said in regards to the game players. "Weakling," he said in regards to Ryou. None of them moved. He had time frozen for exactly five seconds.

He had really only come in to grab the Millennium Ring. Ryou hadn't told anybody (thankfully,) but he was still wearing it for safekeeping. It was time, Bakura decided, to make a withdrawal. He could have just waited to corner Ryou later and demand that he hand over the ring, but Bakura was impatient, causing him to expend mass amounts of energy on freezing the movements on everybody in the room for five seconds. In short, they were immobile and unconscious for those five seconds.

He reached over for his other half's shirt, getting ready to summon the Ring through it. However, an old textbook caught his eye.

"Hm?" Bakura picked it up. "What on Earth is this rubbish?"

Bakura flipped through it rapidly. He didn't want to bother with it, but he had learned that the oldest thing was usually the most important. Orichalcos was old; the Millennium Items were old; Ryou's great-grandmother was old. (And boy, did she teach him a lesson he'd never forget.)

Finally Bakura came upon a single recognizable spell in the Arabic spellbook; it was written in hieroglyphics.

"What the duck? That's pretty random."

Yes, Bakura, yes it is. Bakura started to read it aloud. But halfway through it, he realized…

"What the duck! These are the lyrics to the new Mike Jones song!" Bakura declared, infuriated.

But it was too late… (Dun dun dun.)

He was like a squirming egg, struggling towards that light. God, but it felt disgusting. But there was the light…

Bakura blinked.

Standing in front of him, grinning ghoulishly, while Mokuba screamed right next to him, Ryou grabbed Malik's hand unself-consciously, Malik fainted (hitting his head on the side of his bed… uh, named Ned! Unh! Unh! Named Ned, yo yo yo…) and Yami started to shout curse words, was the one and only Yami Marik.

And for once, Bakura was speechless.

"What _are _you staring at?" Yami Marik demanded indignantly.

"Malik!" Ryou slumped to the floor at Malik's side. "Malik wake up! You hit your head, Malik! Wake the bloody $! up, would you? I know you're not dead."

"Ooooh!" Mokuba oohed. "You said a swear!"

Surrounded by… red. Not blood, just red.

Malik blinked. _Where am I…? Am I—Guh!_

He clamped his hands over his mouth; his eyes bugged; he kicked with all his might for the purpose of going… somewhere—up? Which way was up?

_I can't breathe! _Malik realized. He hadn't realized it until now, having been too caught up in his new red, globular milieu. Even now he didn't—couldn't—fully comprehend his new situation.

_Where am I?_

The thought seemed to echo in his head.

_Am I alone?_

He started to shiver uncontrollably.

_Hello? Anyone?_

"Malik?"

"Malik?"

Malik's lavender orbs eyes snapped open. Ryou sighed in relief.

"I thought you'd gotten a concussion or something," he confessed. He then turned and faced Yami Marik. "Konnichi wa, Yami no Marikku," he greeted curtly and politely. Bowing slightly, he made his way out of the room, shouting to Ishizu—something about an ice pack?

Yami Marik raised an eyebrow. This _hadn't _been how he'd envisioned his homecoming. It was supposed to be glorious. It was supposed to be shocking!

…It was supposed to be dry.

"Why is your hair sticky?" Bakura inquired curiously. "And where were you? Tell me."

Yami Marik waved him off and headed off towards the shower. He knew the location of all of the rooms in the house; after all, he had been watching its inhabitants for nearly a year in amusement. That's not to say that he watched them _in _the shower, though… Erk. You know what I mean!

"ISHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Ryou screamed. The poor woman was nearly bowled over. Immediately Kateb, who was being cradled in her arms, started howling. She sighed indignantly.

"What is it Ryou?" she prompted somewhat bitterly. To her immense surprise, Ryou fainted on the spot. "What on Earth…"

"Ishizu!" Yami ran into the room. The panicky, rising tones of his voice immediately gathered the attention of Seto and Odion, who had been immersed in a George Carlin special, as well as Tea and Yugi, who had actually been studying like they were supposed to be.

"What is it, Yami?" Ishizu asked as patiently as she could. A growl was not far past her lips, though, and Yami could tell. The Pharaoh actually gulped. Yugi smiled. Tea slapped him on the shoulder. As if Tea's arm had been a lever of some sort, Yugi's smile 180'd into a frown again.

"Marik… Yami Marik…" Yami's crimson eyes were huge. Yugi, upon hearing those two most hated words, immediately stood up. This caught Tea by surprise. It wasn't like Yugi to be heroic—or so she had mistakenly thought. The real truth of it was, she had just never paid enough attention to him to truly realize just how brave Little Yugi could be.

(Awwww, don't you feel sorry for him now? Don'cha? No? Good.)

"Where?" was Yugi's only question. Yami shrugged for a moment, then shook his head as if to clear his thoughts.

"In the shower," Yami said.

Yugi wrinkled his nose. "What's he doing in there?"

"Disgusted by the thought of bathing, Yugi?" Tea joked.

"Hush, Tea."

Tea pouted. She'd only been teasing… But Yugi seemed serious.

"Are you serious, Yami?" Yugi asked… serious…ly. Yami was seriously surprised by the… seriously imploring look in Yugi's… serious amethyst eyes. "Are you really, really serious about this?"

Yami nodded open-mouthed. "…Uhm, yeeah."

"He's in the shower?"

"Ye-ap."

"Okay then…" Yugi sighed sat back down at the table. "I guess we'll have to wait until he's finished bathing before we send him back to the Shadow Realm? It would seem kind of rude."

Yami stared at Yugi, momentarily lost for words. "…Er… yes… I suppose so."

Seto suddenly stood up. The gravity of the situation had finally settled in. He managed to knock over an armchair as he yelled, "WHERE'S MOKUBA!"

"He's… he's in Malik's bedroom, Seto…"

"I'll get him!" Seto literally dashed down the hall. Yami let out a breath, but his chest seemed to constrict so that the gesture offered no relief. What the heck was going on here?

Meanwhile, Yugi thought he had it all figured out. Surely Yami Marik was the one causing all of the nonsense in his dreams? Sure, Bakura had been in his dreams, and not Yami Marik, but… --In truth, Yugi just really wanted the dreams to go away. If temporarily blaming a false source gave him comfort, then that was what he was going to do.

Being cradled in Ishizu's arms, Kateb continued to cry.

Odion was in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror, tracing the lineaments on his face. He sighed, inundated with memories both good and bad.

"It's because of this tattoo I can't pick up chicks," he said sadly.

Suddenly, the door blasted open and knocked him into the toilet. "OWWW!"

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Yami Marik chuckled. "…Ew, Odion, get some clothes on…"

"O.O Master Malik?"

":D Nope!"

"…Y…Yami… M—The other du—?"

"Yup!"

"Hey! You didn't let me finish!" Odion stood up and wrapped his towel around him again. "Sheesh…"

"Get out. I'm taking a shower."

"What!"

"I said, 'Get out.' I'm taking a shower." Yami Marik smiled slyly. Odion stared, perturbed, and then left the bathroom with nothing more than a towel on.


	38. Guess Who's Back? Tell a friend

Odion was staggering down the hall in shock, trying to get to his bedroom while his sanity was still more or less intact. This was the hallway where the front door was located. From the front door, there was an open entrance into the dining room, which was connected to the living room.

"Hey Odion," somebody called from the living room as he passed, "what happened?"

Odion turned to his addresser (it happened to be Tea, who was chewing her lower lip in consternation). "I was kicked out of the bathroom by Marik," he said in a dazed voice. "The… the _dark _Marik."

Everybody started talking at once. Their voices merged in Odion's head, creating a discordant mixtry. The full impact of what had just happened fell over him. He was starting to feel dizzy.

It was lucky that most of the people in the room recognized that Odion was about to faint; it gave Yugi and Yami time to dive at Tea, knocking her over and covering her eyes, and for Yugi's mother to skedaddle out of the room with a bright red face _before_ Odion actually fell over, dropping his towel in the process.

"Whoa," Ryou said quietly in awe, "I'm jealous."

Malik punched him in the arm.

"Of please, I was just kidding. He's about average."

"Stop talking about it!!" someone else whined, coming from Yugi and Yami's general direction.

Meanwhile, a small voice was heard: "Uh, Seto, a moment ago you were dragging me down this hall. Why are we turning back?"

A ripple of laughter tore through the room. Tea wriggled. "Hey! Will you two get your hands off my face?!"

Yugi petulantly started rubbing his hands over her eyelids. "Ohhh, your make-up's gonna smear…"

"Yugi! Don't be an asshole!"

"Gasp! She said a _swear!_"

"And don't quote Family Guy, either!"

"I like Stewie…" Yugi grinned.

" 'Wouldn't it be _marvelous _if I turned out to be a _homosexual_?' " Yami quoted. Yugi eyed him and scooted away. Others gave him odd looks as well; he could've chosen a better scene to quote.

"What's going on?" Tea barked. "I wanna see!"

Yugi grin grew more prominent. "Nooo, you don't."

"Yes I do."

"You're such a pervert, Tea," Ryou chimed in, and Yugi and Ryou laughed. Tea turned hot under her friends' hands.

"WHAT!?"

Yami blushed and laughed along with Yugi and Ryou. The idea of Tea being a colossal pervert like Joey was… well… actually he could see that. :P Ew. It just wasn't very likely.

Meanwhile, Tea continued to struggle. "Don't make me do something I'll regret," Yugi warned in a tepid voice. Tea stuck her tongue out. Yugi leaned down and licked her ear.

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Tea's scream could be heard in Boston, most of Texas, a few scattered parts of Canada including Calgary, where one of my great-aunts lives, over the river, and through the woods.

- - -

"Seto, let go of me!" Mokuba kicked at his brother's chest. "Stupid freakin' gay. Why'd you have to be _my _brother."

Seto's veins stuck out on his head of brown hair. "That's _enough_!" he roared. He pushed Mokuba roughly against the wall. Mokuba's eyes likened to the size of saucers.

"Look," he assibilated, hissing like a snake. "I'm your _brother. _You're going to like me, whether I'm gay or straight or Martha Stewart." Mokuba blinked. "And god damn it, I'm still going to be here whether you like me or not, so you might as well just like me anyway. Now, Yami Marik's in the shower, so let's just get the hell over to where everyone else is after Odion's covered himself and—HEY!"

Mokuba had spat in his brother's eye. "Let _go OF ME!" _he managed to scream louder than the fury of Hell itself. He kicked at his brother's arms, but his place against the wall was intransigent.

"Mokuba—"

"Are you about to rape your brother?"

"WHAT!?!"

Seto and Mokuba's heads snapped in unison toward the source of the voice, both intending to give a sound scolding to wherever was so sick in the head as to suggest… bleh. A bemused, caped character fleered at them.

"Hello," said Yami Marik.

"No, just Hell," Mokuba replied with a gulp.

"Stop swearing," Seto whispered, although his eyes never strayed from Yami Marik's amethyst ones.

"I couldn't help but notice you were shouting," said the dark one. "I was going to try to get Malik's CD player to play me a little Disturbed while I was in the shower. And I got it to work, however, you're inconsiderate screaming has overpowered the noise in there, and I'm going to have to ask you to go away."

One, slender finger pointed down the hallway.

"The others are that way," the blonde told them.

He was stared at.

"Get going!" he snapped, and he stepped irately back into the bathroom and shut the door.

"What's 'Disturbed'?" Seto asked.

"Let's just go…"

- - -

"…Should we hide?" Solomon suggested. "And Mr. Odion, please denude yourself."

"I'm already naked," Odion pointed out.

"I meant put on clothes."

"Denude means to make bare."

Solomon had a teensy bit of steam coming out of his ears. Yugi's mother said "uh-oh" from the kitchen and Yugi looked at him pleadingly. "Calm down, Grandpa," Yugi begged. "It's not your fault that the word denude just looks like it would mean the opposite of what it means…"

"GET SOME FACKIN' CLOTHES ON!"

"Fack?" Seto asked wearily as he carried Mokuba in. "Oh for God's sake!" he cried at the sight of Odion. "Put some clothes on."

Mokuba shut his eyes tightly. "Oh wow ooh black cow, oh ow I need a cigarette now," he murmured.

"…_What?"_ Seto looked at Mokuba oddly.

"Oh, I'm so facking hot," Ryou giggled. "And your so facking hot."

"…What the hell are you doing?" Kaiba demanded. Malik looked slightly TOed as well.

"Singin'," Ryou answered. "'Fack'. It's a song by a popular American artist. Mokuba, you like American artists don't you?"

Mokuba nodded. "Let go of me, gay boy," he said, and he thrust himself out of his brother's armlock. Seto growled.

_The _Seto Kaiba hated to be humiliated by _anyone. _It just wasn't a situation he allowed himself to get into. _Ever, _if he could help it. So if someone did happen to humiliate him, he'd chase them across the world to get back at them. Like he had with Yugi/Yami. Like he had with Alister, and Pegasus. But this time it was his own kin scorning him.

Man, his life sucked lately. At least Yami was there. Seto glanced at him. He was _still _leaning over Tea, trying along with Yugi to assure her that she did _not _want to open her eyes.

Finally Odion managed to get up and de-denude himself. Yugi and Yami released Tea, who looked up, saw Odion's towel and his sheepish grin, and turned to Yugi and breathed a thanks.

"Noooo problem," Yugi said, looking at the wall next to Odion. Right now Yami Marik was taking a shower, while purportedly enjoying lyrics by Disturbed.

_I wonder which song he's listening to, _Yugi wondered. _Down with the Sickness? I love the sounds the guy makes in that song… Geez, I never thought I would share something in common with a guy like that._

_What am I saying! I don't have anything in common with that psychopathic numbskull! And we're going to send him to the Shadow Realm!_

"Um… Who wants to help me with dinner?" Ishizu asked nervously. Nobody answered. Everybody stared at the pathway Yami Marik would be taking when he entered the room. Odion scurried down the hall to get some clothes, in the opposite direction of the bathroom where Yami Marik was.

"Anyone?"

Nobody answered, or it seemed to Mokuba that no one talked for a long, long, time. …Which, to Mokuba, was about twenty minutes. "Isn't he finished showering already?" he demanded.

"For such a homophobe, you sure seem interested in Marik showering," Yami offered. Mokuba gave him a death glare, and Seto shook his head at him in a way to clearly said that Yami had _not _said the right thing.

"…Sorry," he apologized lamely.

Tea squeezed Yugi's shoulder. Yugi had been _very _aware that since sitting up her hand had been on his shoulder the whole time, peering over his shoulder ever so often to see how everyone was doing. It made him feel self-conscious, even about the hair by his ears.

"So… I guess we're done studying, huh?" she said shyly. Yugi nodded. Tea gritted her teeth, and pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth and slid it back, making a clucking sound. She squeezed Yugi's shoulder again.

"Ow," Yugi said dully. Malik glanced over. He gave Tea a dirty look. She slid her hand off of Yugi's shoulder slowly. Malik nodded, giving her a _Yeah, that's right, you BETTER let go of him _kind of look before he turned away and whispered something to Ryou.

Tea glared at Malik. He could've come over and talked to her. He _did _know he was frightened, right?

"Poor Malik," Yugi murmured.

"Yeah," Yami agreed. "This has got to be the hardest on him."

"The prospect of being taken over again, right?"

"Yeah."

Tea blinked. "Of course…" She poked Yugi in the back.

"Hm?" He turned his neck so that he was looking at her over his shoulder. "What's up, Tea?"

Tea parted her lips, but no sound came out. What did she have to say? "…This is bad," she whispered.

Yugi nodded. "Yeah."

"Understatement," said Yami.

"Duh," Tea added, feeling stupid.

On the other side of the room, Malik and Ryou were both looking pensive. "…Are we all just going to stand out here and _wait _for him?" Ryou whispered loudly. He whispered because it seemed like the only tone that was appropriate, but he tried to make sure everybody could hear him.

"I guess so," Seto said contemptuously. "Unless you geeks want to try to figure out what to do when he actually comes out here."

"Shadow Game?" Yami raised an eyebrow.

"So soon?" Yugi looked upset. "What if he's got something to tell us? Something important?"

"You think that Yami Marik is going to try to _warn _us about something important, Yugi?" Yami's raised eyebrow rose even higher.

"I… uhm…"

"At least we'll find out how he got here," Odion said. He was hulking a few feet behind Tea. Tea wondered if he was staring at her butt, then felt stupid. There were more important things to worry about, and here she was trying to divert her attention by wondering if somebody was staring at her butt. Was somebody staring at her butt? She turned around. No, she realized tensely. Of course not. I just don't want to think about what's going on right now…

"Seto…" Mokuba inched closer to his brother. "Wait…" He blinked. "Maybe I'd be safer with…" He looked around. "Yami! You do realize that Yami Marik's probably going to target you, right?"

"**What _is _this business with calling me 'Marik,' anyway?"** Everyone's gazes swept towards the violet-clad figure. Marik grinned, his hair damp. "I mean, my former vessel's name is _Malik, _right? Where'd you get the r from, then? Some weird Japanese pronunciation?"

Nobody had an answer right away.

"…I challenge you to a duel!" Yami declared loudly, pointing vigorously.

"So do I!" Malik claimed. Ryou looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

"Noyoudon't," he blurted, grabbing Malik's shirt by the shoulder and pulling them closer to the wall.

Malik grinned smugly at Ryou, displaying two pointy canines. Tea put both her hands on Yugi's shoulders and leaned into him, totally freaked out now.

"I don't want to duel the Pharaoh," he said, gesturing specifically towards Ryou and making eye contact. He completely ignored everyone else in the room.

Ryou blanched—making him even paler. "Now—now look here! You barge in here totally unexpected and scare the living daylights out of us—you… you gave us a _hell _of a fright, and then you shove Odion out of the bathroom and make us all wait in here with baited breath for your grand arrival! What's… what's going on!?"

Bakura silently applauded Ryou for even speaking. Bakura was in the corner of the room by the kitchen. Nobody had even noticed yet. Ishizu had nodded to him on her way into the kitchen, but had taken him for Ryou. He wasn't planning on speaking yet, anyway. He had just wanted to see this.

Marik had made one hell of an entrance. Pretty cool. This could either be good for Bakura, or bad.

Marik grinned at Ryou, and only Ryou. "Well, I was just dying to get out of that place," he said, faking wistfulness, even pretending to wrench his hands.

"What place?" someone asked.

"And I saw… MY CHANCE!" His eyes widened; he looked like a maniac. He pointed suddenly at Yugi with drama, flare. "Little Yugi brought the Millennium Rod into your house, and with Malik near it, I was able to escape through it!"

"You were gone," Malik breathed. Marik ignored him completely and utterly.

"You see Ryou, I've always been in the back of Malik's mind, just biding my time into the Millennium Rod came close enough to him so that I could make use of it. I'm connected to it, you see."

_So he wasn't in charge of my weird dreams, _Yugi fretted. _He was inside Malik's mind the whole time…_

"Now… when is dinner? Ohhh, Ishizu! I'm back." Marik made his way towards the kitchen.

_I didn't realize I hadn't update this is so long! I thought I'd updated it in 2006. I guess I was wrong. Anyway, I'm posting this up so you know that I DO plan to finish this! I thought I'd written this pretty well compared to some of my other stories, but reading back over it, I found a LOT of inconsistencies that I should've corrected. Like, in the last chapter, I said that Odion was watching the George Carlin special and then… BAM! Odion was somehow in the bathroom. Stuff like that. And if you see something that doesn't make sense in the chapters, please tell me!_

_**So… REVIEW!**_


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